Its funny, this takes me back about two years when I was having a discussion with Niles and he mentioned something to the effect that he thought it could be possible if the right conditions existed that a TBS would work for some kids…and you would have thought he was a dam EdCon by the way people on here jumped on his butt for even thinking out of the box that way….. he changed his tune and got right back in step real quick and has never stepped over the line since.
Now I see CCM speaking her mind and the exact same thing happened, only this time the person refused to be bullied by the group and she held her ground and is thinking independently…. She isn’t trashing you guys or saying you never suffered or are lying about what happened to you..CCM is telling you what happened to her, her story and how it affected her life. Just because it doesn’t fit into your group definitions or group think doesn’t mean her experience carries any less weight or is any less credible.
You need to accept that every person is different and reacts differently to the same situation and will come away from it with a different perspective (or take). You cant expect every person to conform to the same way of thinking even if they experienced the same stimuli or went thru similar experiences. You should loosen up your standards of being accepted as a survivor and allow them to speak openly about their individual experiences… the good that came from attending a TBS along with the bad. To continuously restrict and berate each other into singing the mantra (thinking in absolutes)that all schools are abusive, all programs are the same, not one child has ever benefitted from attending a wilderness or TBS in 30 years. Kids who say they benefitted are in denial and you shouldn’t believe them. You are all fooling yourselves if you think parents believe your pitch that 100% of the kids fail while the industry is growing exponentially.
The GAO investigation isn’t going to shut the industry down, if anything the investigation is going to strengthen the industry by cutting out and exposing some bad sections/programs and then ultimately identifying a new and acceptable direction. No one has suggested that the kids don’t need to be there. We just need to improve on the institutions and make them more effective for the children.
Ps Sorry (in advance), CCM, seems every time I say something in support of you you end up shouldering the wrath of their anger, most of which is probably intended for me.
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No need to apologize Who. I appreciate the support. There is nothing in your post that I can disagree with. We all have different experiences (for those of us who attended programs). I just wish that some people could get through their heads that there are good programs out there, that do make a positive differences in families lives. I've said all along that not all of my experiences in programs were good. I think I have been one of the most honest people on here about my experiences. I want parents to always try to first, and foremost work things out from home without having to send their child away. But, let's face it......that cannot always happen.
Am I an Ed Con....no. Do I work for any program....no. Do I have any plans to ever have anything to do with the industry.....I cannot say 100% for sure that I won't. I can say that I have no plans to at the moment, or in the near future (I have about 2 more years of school to complete before I decide to do that). If I thought I could make a positive difference in kids lives, I would take a position with a school/program that I believed in.
For the record, I do not believe in "zero tolerance programs". I do not believe in the Tough Love approach especially when it comes to kids who have already been through a lot, and it's very obvious that they are in a great deal of pain, and fragile. I don't think that the more emotionally out of control a teenager is, the more punishment they should receive. I think for kids who are in that much emotional pain, that there is something underlying that's causing that, and the focus should be to try and figure out what "that" is. I don't think trying to break them down is going to do anything but further damage them. If anything, I believe it's a sign they need to be given even more love, and given even more attention.
However, there are some kids who are just spoiled brats, that need to wake up (come on we all know a few!). If that's through a program that holds them accountable with rules, and structure, I don't think that's abusive. I believe that I have been through a great deal, and I could make a difference in kids lives. If that makes me evil in some peoples eyes, so be it! I think that I may come across as a total bitch on here sometimes, but I swear that outside of here I'm really not. I just get pissed off when I can't express an opinion without getting attacked on this board. When it comes to this board I figure why should I treat you with any more respect then you are treating me with? In real life I am quite the opposite. If I am faced with difficult situations instead of getting defensive, I try to kill people with kindness. I try to diffuse situations instead of what I sometimes end up doing here which would be to add fuel to the fire!
I think that programs are going to be held more accountable in 2008. I think this will be a positive year as a whole as far as the industry is concerned. I think that there are people on here that have made that happen. But, there are also some of you that have been pretty damaging with your posts, with your FOUL pictures, and the drama you've brought especially with the whole PURE/ Sue Scheff drama. That alone has caused a lot of problems for this site.
It's not the Who, and I that have made things so awful. It's the fact that a lot of you cannot have a mature debate without getting down, and dirty. Sure, I have done some things that I am not proud of. I have said things that I regret. But, as a whole I think most of what I have ever had to say about programs has been from the heart. I'm not involved in the industry, I have nothing to gain financially from what I say here.
So, anyway......with that have a Happy Thanksgiving. I will not be having turkey since I am a vegetarian, so for the record I will not be crying FOWL!!!!
Peace,
CCM girl
