I have a friend who went through aarc about 10 years ago

[Anonymous]

and he told me today that someone is trying to blame him for something that happend to their sister when they were in treatment together, and he didnt even know about it.

i have a question. if something happened to the guys sister,  by what sense of logic does someone blame another client who was only fourteen of fifteen. if the place was so bad then would he be trying to look after himself?

i heard the moron blaming my friend is a member here and i wanted to say that you got serious problems. ive known this guy for years and i know that hes got enough guts to intervene when bad things are happening. i dont know who you are thats saying stuff about him, but your wrong completely.

it doesnt matter really i just htink its not fair to act like that. you should have charged the people that comitted the crime instead of some bistander that knew nothing about it and was only 14 trying to sober up. thats somethign sick.

[Anonymous]

But, you weren't there and it was 10 years ago.

This person is your friend and you are automatically choosing to believe him.

What if... and I'm not saying he is or is not. But what if he is lying to you?

[hanzomon4]

and he told me today that someone is trying to blame him for something that happend to their sister when they were in treatment together, and he didnt even know about it.

i have a question. if something happened to the guys sister,  by what sense of logic does someone blame another client who was only fourteen of fifteen. if the place was so bad then would he be trying to look after himself?

i heard the moron blaming my friend is a member here and i wanted to say that you got serious problems. ive known this guy for years and i know that hes got enough guts to intervene when bad things are happening. i dont know who you are thats saying stuff about him, but your wrong completely.

it doesnt matter really i just htink its not fair to act like that. you should have charged the people that comitted the crime instead of some bistander that knew nothing about it and was only 14 trying to sober up. thats somethign sick.

Well gee, perhaps being forced to sign papers by staff saying that the whole thing was made up perhaps stopped anyone from being charged. Or perhaps being locked in AARC for years stopped this person from going to the cops who support AARC. Or perhaps this person doesn't want to have your friend arrested because he, or she, understands that it was AARC and not this "kid's" fault.

Your friend is use to making confessions, just "confront" him... or what's the term call him on his shit and he'll confess. However know that many survivors are much more forgiving then you, or your friend, thinks when it comes to the kids that hurt them. I would suggest that your friend simply apologize if he hasn't already.

By the way I'm not connected to this, I just know people don't make allegations 10 years after the fact without a good reason. And I know how AARC likes to sweep things under the rug and how they do it.

[Anonymous]

well, i choose to believe him because he has been real with me the whole time i've known him. hes never given me a reason to not trust him. yes, hes got a bit of a funny outlook on things and people dont always agree with him, but hes about as real as it gets. the allegations arent being pointed at him, its aimed at someone else he was in the group with but hes being accused of doing nothing. im not sure how observant a 14 year old boy in drug treatment can really be especielly if hes in an instensive drug program.

i understand where you guys are coming from yes, but im a good judge of character and i dont know anyone in my life that is as real as him. he doesnt even know what went down, just that 'something happened to the guys sister'.

no offense to the guy whos saying these things 11 years later, but your messed up in the head. and it sounds like your just looking to throw blame everywhere and thats pretty pathetic.

[Anonymous]

oh and i havent been through aarc, but like you i know someone whos been through there and been out for quite some time. hes still sober, has the occaisonal struggles that everyone has in life, but hes not a monster, hes like i dont know, normal? i shouldnt have come on here and stuck my nose into this, but i wanted to see what the rationale is in blameing a 14 year old kid for something like this when he had no involvment in it whatsoever. ill probably rouffle some feathers, but i dont really care.

[hanzomon4]

well, i choose to believe him because he has been real with me the whole time i've known him. hes never given me a reason to not trust him. yes, hes got a bit of a funny outlook on things and people dont always agree with him, but hes about as real as it gets. the allegations arent being pointed at him, its aimed at someone else he was in the group with but hes being accused of doing nothing. im not sure how observant a 14 year old boy in drug treatment can really be especielly if hes in an instensive drug program.

i understand where you guys are coming from yes, but im a good judge of character and i dont know anyone in my life that is as real as him. he doesnt even know what went down, just that 'something happened to the guys sister'.

no offense to the guy whos saying these things 11 years later, but your messed up in the head. and it sounds like your just looking to throw blame everywhere and thats pretty pathetic.

No dude I think you got it wrong, In AARC kids are put in charge of other kids. So with that it's possible that your friend could have been responsible for this person but did nothing to protect them, however the idea of kids being in total control of other kids is something must survivors view as ridiculous. That's why many don't hold the kids themselves responsible for being abused. However that does not change the fact that many oldcomers did horrible things to the kids under them or allowed, or covered up horrible things that happened to the kids under them. The kids that were abused have the right to say that "yes, so and so allowed me to be abused or abused me" if that's what happened. It's not about blame but the truth.

This is how Straight inc decedent programs operate. I'm sure you care about your friend and while he is probably all the good things you say he, or she, is understand that this program puts kids in the position of being abused or the abuser. This program is truly horrible and that's where survivors put the majority of the blame.

[hanzomon4]

Here dude, read this article about Kids of North Jersey. AARC was supposed to be the Canadian branch of this program, Kids of the Canadian West, but when Kids of North Jersey was shut down amid allegations of torture and abuse, allegations confirmed as true in successful multi-million dollar lawsuits, the name was changed.

[Anonymous]

okay i read on that. (im not a dude, im a girl btw). it makes no sense is what im saying, dont girls watch girls there? from the brief description of what happend that he got from some dude it was that some dude did something to his sister. that can be taken 10000 differnet ways so he figured there was inappropriate touchin or even worse. he doesnt even remember hearing about it. said the first he heard about it was like two days ago when some idiot started sending him messages and saying disgusting thing about his family.

im not trying to stir the pot, but i know my friend better than anyone here does. i know when people are full of shit, my friend is not.

its just ridiculos that someone throws blame around like that. its not seeking the truth, it comes off as a desparate act of finger pointing and hollow vindication. im sorry for my bad grammar.

anyway whoever it is that is trying to blame my good friend for something he wasnt involved in in any way, could you quit being pathetic like that? that whole situation nulls any actual valid points you may have against the place, it seems like you guys put a lot of work into whatever cause this is, but end up back to square one because of people doing that kind of thing and ruining credibilaty. if you gonna blame him for that, then you can blame everyone in the world for it because they all had about as much to do with that as he did.

you dont have to be mean to me or tell me im brainwashed either. ive never been throgh aarc and im glad i havent from the sounds of things, but i will nose in if someone is being unreasonable and stupid.

he said he felt bad for the girl because she was really nice to him and his family, but was confused about why this all of the suddne landed on his lap. pretty dumb scene if you ask me. i feel bad for her just hearing about it, but when this sort of thing happens it makes it hard to even beleive. no offense.

[hanzomon4]

Was your friend a staff member or an oldcomer at the time? Did this happen in his home while it was being used as a host home?

Let me tell you something, any time a person accuses someone of abuse that person gets defensive and seeks to attack the credibility of the accuser. So what would you have a survivor do just shut up about being abused to avoid having their credibility attacked? If you had been abused don't you think your friend would be pissed at those responsible and lash out against them?

Anyway don't worry about the credibility of AARC survivors that speakout, they have over 4 decades of proof of the same damn thing happening to others.

Here's some homework, if you truly care, Read the Blueprints - some good news articles in there.

I can only hope to help you understand the nature of this beast. Not knowing what incident you are talking about, I can't help you with that directly. Just know that horrible things happened in the host homes, things that your friend, being a good and honest person, would be very ashamed to admit having any part in.

The survivors that post here do not make accusations lightly especially against other kids that suffered along with them. Think about it. 10 years later and this person says that your friend had some hand in abusing them!?! What reason does this person have to lie, they can't get any justice. On the other hand your friend would face great shame if these allegations are true, and thus has a good reason to lie.

[Anonymous]

Was your friend a staff member or an oldcomer at the time? Did this happen in his home while it was being used as a host home?

Let me tell you something, any time a person accuses someone of abuse that person gets defensive and seeks to attack the credibility of the accuser. So what would you have a survivor do just shut up about being abused to avoid having their credibility attacked? If you had been abused don't you think your friend would be pissed at those responsible and lash out against them?

Anyway don't worry about the credibility of AARC survivors that speakout, they have over 4 decades of proof of the same damn thing happening to others.

Here's some homework, if you truly care, Read the Blueprints - some good news articles in there.

I can only hope to help you understand the nature of this beast. Not knowing what incident you are talking about, I can't help you with that directly. Just know that horrible things happened in the host homes, things that your friend, being a good and honest person, would be very ashamed to admit having any part in.

The survivors that post here do not make accusations lightly especially against other kids that suffered along with them. Think about it. 10 years later and this person says that your friend had some hand in abusing them!?! What reason does this person have to lie, they can't get any justice. On the other hand your friend would face great shame if these allegations are true, and thus has a good reason to lie.

he was 14, he was a newcomer to the program. the girl this happened to was an oldcomer as was the guy who did that to her. logistically even, my friend had no hand in whatever happened. my friend said the two people involved had been there quite a while before he came in.

he's not being defensive, he doesnt even really care. i do, because i since the day i could walk ive hated when people lie about others. if something is wrong, it should be made right, much like whatever happend to people at aarc.

blaming a 14 year old new comer for not doing anything is something only a very desperate and dillusional soul would do.

hanzomon, i dont know that your even reading what i write, instead you are pushing you propaganda at me.

I DONT CARE, I DIDNT GO TO AARC AND I WONT SEND MY KID THERE. OKAY?  I DIDNT COME HERE TO DISCUSS WHY AARC IS 'SO BAD' I CAME HERE TO CONFRONT SOMEONE.

thanks and i wont be returning to this site. the logic here is really odd ive seen facts presented and ignored, opinions hold stake over fact, emotion seems to be the common bond here, but it is uncontroled and very sporadic.