god help me

[Anonymous]

wellhere i am at 12:24 am amd i am totaly perplexed with life, im drunk as hell, stoned... and would put anything eltts in myh sistem if i could. sory i cant typoe vary well but fuck uopru eh. ya wo i just left a girl that s  treating me like shit and i have just lost my job and i cant seem to get a grasp on why i cant be a productived part of sosiaty fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the hell is rong with me. why cant i make this work!!! is it kids?! why... so any ways so ya understand i found this sight a yr ago...  and have been workin in the social work feild and whatever for the last 5 to 10 yrs... if ya incloude kids as workin in the feid anyway i got fiered and know i dont wona do socal work anymore but i have nothin elts to do... i am fuckin stuck... i bought a 2003 vw golf and now im on ei... what the fuck./.. i fuigur out that i cant do socal work any morcose of kids andnowi cant get a job that i wona do that pays mor then 10 $ an hr.. fuck off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   what the hell do i do!!!  i have know idia. i fuigured if anyone would knowit would be you all... and know im drunk i can ask... as i apolijise for my bla but what ever.. so if anyone has any insight let me know, ty eh....                   mike a

[Anonymous]

not a real post.  planted here by someone trying to discredit our site.  i could be wrong, however. In which case, can someone tell me where to send this guy a dictionary? I'd be happy to.

[Anonymous]

I think this was a plant from a miller supporter,look at the mispells like "apologize" to clever of lettering as a mispell almost as if the writer went out of his way to mispell,and since mike A just recently logged in this site what a perfect target.I spoke with Mike A through email and he can spell a lot better than that. Miller and co go on with your cult like ways you are a coward,

[Anonymous]

What sucks the worst is that there probably are people out there, who feel like that, whose lives are total shit because of Miller, and f*ckwits like this make it to where they feel like they have to repress themselves so that they don't come off like that.

And, if we do feel this way, we can't let it get us, we have to bust our collective asses and make something of ourselves, develop good reputations, and otherwise just beat the hell out of everything that was taught in the hellhole.  If they know we're serious, can be taken seriously, and aren't just blowing smoke for attention, then its a lot less bs flying and a lot more credit given by parents who might figure out that tough love and club med just don't jive together.

Ya dig?  (And yes, I'm a responsible adult, grown, kids of my own, and whenever one of my student's parents asks me how to help their kid, I can assure you that I do warn them of places like this, and the fact that I was there helps tons.  Its about building a relationship on respect, not anger.)  Just an opinion from a grown up Miller reject with kids of my own.  

If they'd only legalize pot... guess that's another fight for another day

[Anonymous]

this is my response. first of all i dont think that it is the right of anyone to say who can and who cant post whatever he or she feels.now as far as being derunk well.... please post while being sober. but anyhow i completley understand how this person is feeling. i could completley relate to his feelings.is it kids ? that seems to be the big question of the year.nothing is kids fault except for what happened while you were at kids. (except for nightmares but nightmares dont control my life how about yours?)anyway, i think that whatever this person is going through is quite possibly very normal. i have gone through many hard and low times since kids. and as a result everyday i grow stronger and stronger and more and more away from kids. kids was a nightmare , but for those who make kids a part of your life i feel sorry for you. i wish everyone the best and i wish that people would learn how to take responsibility for their actions and stop dwelling in the past.



OH BY THE WAY LET ME CLARIFY ......... I DO HATE MILLER NEWTON AND THAT BASTARD OWES US ALL. AND I HATED THE PROGRAM AND STILL DO. BUT TO THE FRIENDS THAT I HAD IN THERE. I LOVE YOU ALL. WHAT WE HAD IN THERE WAS SICK BUT IT WAS SPECIAL
 :wave:

[Anonymous]

I am the one who originally replyed to the miss-spelled post.  I stand by my first instinct - it was a "plant" by a Miller Newton Inc. employee. I begrudge no one poor spelling and grammer, considering most of us were denied education during the most valuable of learning years, second only to infancy. But this blantant attempt to discredit the voice and opinion of Miller's victoms, does not take an Ivy league degree to recognize. Or a Ph.d in Anthropology, for that matter. Remember, Newton's Fan Club, nothing is TRULY anonymus on the internet. Not even your feeble attempts.

[Antigen]

I don't know who started this thread. I could make an educated guess, but I really don't care that much about it.

It seems about as likely to me that it's a stupid joke as that it's a real person who was in a real funk at the time.

Here's the big secret. EVERYBODY feels like that from time to time.

The difference between Program survivors and normal people is that we have this nagging little scary voice in our heads that keeps taunting us "the Program was right! See? You are a druggie loser! You're only going to get worse untill eventually you're a skidrow junkie or deadinsaneorinjail! You feel insane yet? You might be there already! You're lucky you're not in jail or in the nut house. You would be, you know, if people only knew how fucked up in the head you are!".

Normal people just get piss assed drunk or go jogging or pick a fight or gorge on chocolate or pack up and run away or find some other way to rage. Then they get over it and they don't go around telling anyone. If they can't get over it, they tell their spouse or friend or shrink or clergy or whatever.

Personally, especially in the spring, I highly recomend a longish hike in the woods. What the hell, you're not employed at the moment so you have the whole day off and you're certainly not in a frame of mind to sell yourself to an employer. The fresh air, solitude and exercise would probably do you good. But, that's just what I would do. Maybe something else would work better for you.

May your days be joyously challenging and your words artfully true.
--Ginger Warbis

[MR. Z]

Well I hope this post was from a Newton follower because this person sounds in bad shape. I have not posted here in a while but is anyone doing well in there after kids life. I know it sounds stupid but once in a while I like to see a name from the past doing well. I think those kind of subjects would piss Newton and his followers off even more. And if you read this Dr. Newton, Mr. Z is doing fine. I leave for vacation on wed. from my job where I've been promoted. I'm taking my pregnant wife to the family summer home in Wildwood Crest for a few days. It's been almost 10 years since leaving kids of north jersey and I'm still alive so you and your followers were wrong about drinking myself dead in a years. My wife and I are having a little girl due in September. By the way we aren't naming it Ruth Ann. Well in closing I'd like to say hello to any one in kids from 1991-1994 and hope all is well.

[dixie lee ann murray]

hi.mike i didn't come to calgary.i just came on the site.i can totally understand you.my last relationship was fucked abusive,hate we almost killed each other :flame:  :smile:  :wave:

[dixie lee ann murray]

first.i hated the program just as much as the next person,but as long as you keep thinking about the program and bitching about it your not free.i happen to be in a loving relationship for 2.5 yrs,i work a great job and very close to my family members.i'm free of it.for yrs i was resentful and realized i'm still letting dr.newton control me.just by mentally abusing myself only i could stop that by leavin and changing my life and it has benn awesome.i love you all bc we are survivors and no one will ever bring us down again. :wave:

[Antigen]

Yup, that's true and good advice for a lot of people. But a lot of folks have said that they're bothered, even haunted, by program damage for decades, even though they're not conciously thinking about it and can't figure out wtf is wrong with them. Sometimes (just sometimes) it might help some people to just understand where the problem is.

As far as pissing of that lying sack of shit, the Reverend, Dr., Dr., Fr., Virgil Miller "Cashin" Newton, I honestly believe that old Biblical saw "Judgement is mine, sayeth the Lord." Not that I think there's some grandfatherly figure somewhere above the clouds who's gonna fuck with Virgil just to make me happy. I think God is just an allegory for nature. And there's no getting around natures laws.

I think Virgil lost track of his moral compass somewhere early along the way. But that doesn't mean he has no concience. Last I heard, the guy was just bent over and sickly. Same with the DFAF people. They may have lots of money and influence. But have you ever talked with them face to face? Their whole personalities are just saturated in spite and paranoia. Hell, DFAF keeps their office doors locked and won't let anyone they don't know and like even peek inside. Now, how does a non prof conduct business under those circumstances?

I think these people are haunted whether you or I ever even give them so much as a thought. My only interest in them at this point has to do with seperating them from the supply lines of MY tax money and from influence and authority over me, my kids and my grandkids.

Don't let your dogma run out in front of your karma.
--Anonymous

[Anonymous]

mike a, if that was you posting then keep your head up and you will be fine. take advantage of those around you who understand, we,ve all been through the same type of thing. i know i have and i'd be glad to share it with you. lennon403@aol.com    this is "b" :silly: