I've become an EdCon myself, since Sue makes a tidy nut off referrals (and suing people who call her on PURE bullshit). When parents come to me requesting information on RTC's for Junior's growing Mary-jay-wonna addiction, I hit a buzzer on my desk and three Izzy-big escorts rush in, cuff the parents and hurl the hysterical mom and dad into a windowless black van. The escorts and escortees head toward Peninsula Village. Every question the parents ask is answered with "Shut your hole, bitch, or I'll come back there and fuck-start your head!! I'll break your punk ass down like a shotgun, and I'll damn-straight do it in a jiffy...ya HURD?!"
The parents are taken to PV admissions and thrown into the level three lockdown. After two weeks, I come back and ask if they're ready to sign Junior's name on the admission form so I can get paid, yo.
For some reason, I'm not making the bank Sue Scheff does...no bank at all. I normally have to pay for at least two $300 physical restraints PV was forced to perform on some mom and dad who arrogantly demanded their "rights" That's what the 3x5 cards are for, so you can write your request for the counselor to read out loud before shredding it.
Then I offer my services as a Life Coach. I get Mom, Dad, and Junior to lay on my imported Persian symposium-style long pillows in a close circle around a hookah packed with the best blond. It's heartwarming to see the understanding and mutual respect my coaching brings to the enlightened family.