I don't know what you mean by "real" therapy. If I assume for the moment you mean more traditional therapeutic approaches -- Freudian, Jungian, CBT, etc etc etc, and if none of these traditional approaches have been helpful, are you suggesting that we give up?
I strongly suspect that you are conflating "not helpful" with "didn't get as good a result as I want or need."
Sometimes, after all you can do, there's nothing more you can do. For example, people with bipolar disorder have a 20% suicide rate untreated---but those of us who are treated still have an 11% suicide rate.
All of us will eventually get a health problem that modern medicine won't be able to fix and we'll die. That's true for every human being on the planet--you will eventually get something the doctors can't fix and you'll die.
Some of us--no matter who we are or what we do or don't have--are going to die young.
Everybody's going to die sometime, and getting out of bed each morning is a risk. This applies not just to you but to everybody you love from your cat to your child. Learn to cope with that truth--everybody else has to.
We do what we can, and we come to terms with the rest.
We don't inflict ineffective and painful quack treatments on our loved ones just because we can't face the unavoidable risk of losing them when they're sick with something.
At least, mentally stable people don't do that to our loved ones.
If you're willing to do it to yours, you need to check into some of that traditional therapy for yourself. Soonest.
Julie
