WHAT IS YOUR HORRORSCOPE?
>
>
> AQUARIUS JAN 20 - FEB 18: You are progressive.
> You lie a great deal.
> On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and
> impractical, causing
> you to make the same mistakes repeatedly. Everyone
> thinks you are a fucking jerk.
>
> PISCES FEB 19 - MAR 20: You have a vivid imagination
> and often think you are being followed by the FBI or
> CIA. You have minor influence over your friends and
> people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack
> confidence and are generally a coward.
> Pisces people screw small animals and pick their nose
> a lot.
>
> ARIES MAR 21 - APRIL 19: You are the pioneer type and
> hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered,
> impatient, and scornful of advice. You are a prick.
> You like having sex in crowds and switching up on
> partners.
>
> TAURUS APR 20 - MAY 20: You are practical and
> persistent. You have lots of determination and work
> like hell. Most people think you are a snob and
> bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamn communist,
> who loves oral sex.
>
> GEMINI MAY 21 - JUNE 20: You are a quick and
> intelligent thinker. People like
> you because you are bisexual. However, you are
> inclined to expect too much
> for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard.
> Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.
>
> CANCER JUNE 21 - JULY 22: You are sympathetic and
> understanding of
> others problems. They think you are a sucker. You are
> always putting things off.
> This is why you will always be on welfare and won't be
> worth a shit.
>
> LEO JULY 23 - AUG 22: You consider yourself a born
> leader. Others think you are
> a pussy. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and
> cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is
> disgusting. Leo people are thieving bastards and kiss
> mirrors a lot.
> Most Leos have herpes.
>
> VIRGO AUG 23 - SEPT 22: You are the logical type and
> hate disorder.
> This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You
> are cold and unemotional
> and often fall asleep while screwing. Virgos make
> good bus drivers and pimps.
>
> LIBRA SEPT 23 - OCT 22: You are the artistic type and
> have a difficult time
> with reality. If you are a male, you are probably
> queer. Chances for
> employment and money gains are pathetic. Most Libra
> women are whores.
> All Libras die of Venereal Diseases.
>
> SCORPIO OCT 23 - NOV 21: You are shrewd in business
> and can not be trusted.
> You will screw anything from a witch to a wizard. You
> are a perfect son-of-a-bitch.
> Most Scorpios are murdered.
>
> SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 - DEC 21: You are optimistic and
> enthusiastic. You have
> a reckless tendency to rely on luck, since you have no
> talent. The majority
> of Sagittarians are drunks or pot-heads.
> People laugh at you a lot because you are always
> getting screwed.
>
> CAPRICORN DEC 22 - JAN 19: You are conservative and
> afraid of taking risks.
> You are basically chicken-shit. There was never a
> Capricorn of any importance.
> You should kill yourself.
