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Author Topic: Is your Parent troubled?  (Read 3492 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Is your Parent troubled?
« on: January 27, 2007, 09:30:40 PM »
Parents[/b] these days are on the edge. One day they can be living a seemingly normal life, the next they are caught up with negative peer groups, doing drugs, getting arrested and ultimately pay with their lives, and die with a needle in their arm of a drug overdose. [/color]

If you don't want this to happen to your parent, take this simple test, and see if they are at risk.

Do not take this lightly, it could very well save your family member's life![/b]

Answer each question yes or no and follow the instructions after the quiz.

Questions:

    1. Does your parent drink alcohol, on occasion or daily?

    2. Does one or both of your parents swear, or use God's name in vain?

    3. Have either of your parents missed one or more days of work over the previous five years?

    4. Do you notice your parents taking naps, or sleeping at odd hours?

    5. Is one or both of your parents staying out late, not calling home and bringing home new friends?

    6. Are they dressing differently, doing their hair differently, acting strange in general?

    7. Do they attend strange ritualistic group meetings that do not fit with your family profile?

    8. Have you found dirty dishes and the trash overflowing in the morning, suggesting your parents are staying up late with unnapproved visitors?

    9. Do your parents have dinner parties, or invite their friends over often?

    10. Do your parents listen to strange music?






Add up the amount of question to which you answered yes.

1-3[/size][/color] IMMEDIATE RISK
If you answered "yes" to any question, your parent is at immediate risk of falling into a negative spiral that will only end in death and destruction for them and anyone around them. Take action immediately to avoid this common, yet rarely planned for event.


4-6[/size][/color] DANGEROUS RISK
Your parents are at a particularly high risk of ending up on the street with a needle in their arm with recently used butt beads shoved into their mouth, for not paying off their smack debt. It is essential you contact a program and have your parent placed immediately to prevent this common outcome from occuring once again to yet another family.


7-10[/size][/color] GRAVE DANGER
Your parent is going to be dead in a couple days. You are a horrible person for not doing anything already, but it's not too late. Call a private thug business and have your parents shipped away, locked in a room, force fed mass amounts of pharmaceuticals, tied down and brainwashed to not ever repeat the behavior patterns that led to the intervention again.

this is in no way an authorized test. this is only intended for humurous intent and i am in no way being serious. this is a joke and if you take this seriously you are an idiot. if you send your parent to me i will still take your money but not take your parent. if you want to send me money i will accept it and not protest. this is only a joke. but so are you if you read this, you are a fucking joke. okay maybe you arent, maybe i am instead. can you tell me a joke and make me laugh. i am pretty sad and could use cheering up.  [/size]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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Is your Parent troubled?
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2007, 09:52:50 PM »
Well Done!

 ::cheers::  ::bigsmilebounce::  ::drummer::  ::kiss::  ::rocker::  ::bandit::  :tup:  :smokin:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline psy

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Is your Parent troubled?
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2007, 10:36:48 PM »
OH MY GOD.. they need help... really really badly..... Oh please help me mister ed-con man....  Save their lives...   PM me and we can set up the escorts.. please tell me if you need chloroform, duct tape, and/or a frying pan.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Benchmark Young Adult School - bad place [archive.org link]
Sue Scheff Truth - Blog on Sue Scheff
"Our services are free; we do not make a profit. Parents of troubled teens ourselves, PURE strives to create a safe haven of truth and reality." - Sue Scheff - August 13th, 2007 (fukkin surreal)

Offline psy

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Is your Parent troubled?
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2007, 10:41:52 PM »
Quote from: ""TS Waygookin""
Cast Iron or Aluminum with a nice teflon coating?


Cast Iron..  Is that OK?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Benchmark Young Adult School - bad place [archive.org link]
Sue Scheff Truth - Blog on Sue Scheff
"Our services are free; we do not make a profit. Parents of troubled teens ourselves, PURE strives to create a safe haven of truth and reality." - Sue Scheff - August 13th, 2007 (fukkin surreal)

Offline Anonymous

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Is your Parent troubled?
« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2007, 10:56:35 PM »
Rocky River Springs Retreat for Parents [/color]



Fulfill your potential!  Live your dreams!



Don't take my word for it, here's what former clients have to say![/color]

Dear Rocky River Springs staff, Thank you for doing such a great job with my father. I know that he is learning much as I have. It?s a true shame the majority of our population do not see the benefit of self-help and motivational seminars. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for y our dedication to making the world a better place.
Sincerely, Scott


Dear Kathy and Staff, I appreciate everything you do for all of these parents. I know it means so much not only to their kids or grandkids but also to them too, even if they don't realize it at first. My mother told me that she was glad she got sent up there because she was not happy with her life, and it was nice to be able to change. It also means a lot to me because not I get to go through all these great seminars that make me feel like such a better person inside. I thank you greatly. Sincerely,
Alan


Don't hesitate one moment further, calls us today! 1-800-420-4EVR
[/size][/color]
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Offline psy

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Is your Parent troubled?
« Reply #5 on: January 27, 2007, 11:08:09 PM »
i think i broke something laughing...  Brilliant.  Even got the eagle... perfect.  just perfect..

At benchmark their logo was this Eagle they called the Benchmark Eagle... They made the kids design a whole bunch of em for a competition (cheaper than a shitty graphic designer)... don't think they liked mine with the bloodshot eyes and the needle stuck in the ass.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Benchmark Young Adult School - bad place [archive.org link]
Sue Scheff Truth - Blog on Sue Scheff
"Our services are free; we do not make a profit. Parents of troubled teens ourselves, PURE strives to create a safe haven of truth and reality." - Sue Scheff - August 13th, 2007 (fukkin surreal)

Offline Anonymous

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Is your Parent troubled?
« Reply #6 on: January 27, 2007, 11:37:48 PM »
=-- Don't forget about our sister program --=/[/color]




Out exploring the local flora and fauna!

Thank you for interest in B.T.T.S. - A Wilderness Experience - the industry's most sophisticated parent wilderness program. At Back to the Sticks we provide insight, direction and hope to troubled parents and their families. As the skilled life coaches and other staff members help your parent discover the reasons behind his/her actions, your parent becomes a student of self. She/he can then make healthy choices concerning the future.

We understand that many children are not sure where they can go for help. We have an entire staff of unqualified individuals who will provide solutions to your questions about your troubled parent, his/her needs, and your own needs.

We congratulate you on taking the first step to help your parent. By seeking out information about a program, you could literally change your parent's life as well as your own. BTTS offers a variety of troubled parent programs. Now that you have already begun the process of getting help, we can assist you in the next step, which is to enroll your parent in a recovery program.


Satisfied after making camp and learning to make fire with shoestrings!



    Our trained staff will work closely with your parent to ensure his/her success. Please  contact us with any questions you might have. We look forward to giving your parent the help he/she deserves. [/color]


    Some of the locals we encounter - don't get too close, they bite!
    [/color]

    Financial Concerns: We know many parents do not have all the necessary funds upfront and that is why we offer a reasonable payment plan, with zero percent interest. We also offer, and encourage you to recruit other kids to the program, for which you will receive a free treatment session for your parent. You can help other families and keep costs down, it's a win/win![/color][/b]


    One of our clients who left early without finishing - see how angry he is he didn't get to finish his program?
    Do not let this happen to your parent!

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    Offline psy

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    Is your Parent troubled?
    « Reply #7 on: January 28, 2007, 12:07:29 AM »
    somebody should create a website for these.  shit is hilarious.
    « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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    Benchmark Young Adult School - bad place [archive.org link]
    Sue Scheff Truth - Blog on Sue Scheff
    "Our services are free; we do not make a profit. Parents of troubled teens ourselves, PURE strives to create a safe haven of truth and reality." - Sue Scheff - August 13th, 2007 (fukkin surreal)

    Offline Anonymous

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    Is your Parent troubled?
    « Reply #8 on: January 28, 2007, 12:42:55 AM »
    « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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    Offline try another castle

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    Is your Parent troubled?
    « Reply #9 on: January 28, 2007, 02:13:49 AM »
    Quote
    Satisfied after making camp and learning to make fire with shoestrings!


     :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:


    Soar like an eagle, bitches.
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    Offline Nihilanthic

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    Is your Parent troubled?
    « Reply #10 on: January 28, 2007, 02:28:22 AM »
    Spreadeagled?  :o
    « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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    DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

    CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

    TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

    Offline try another castle

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    Is your Parent troubled?
    « Reply #11 on: January 28, 2007, 02:33:51 AM »
    I was thinking more along the lines of the Blood Eagle


    Gotta love them Vikings.
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    Offline Nihilanthic

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    Is your Parent troubled?
    « Reply #12 on: January 28, 2007, 02:35:08 AM »
    :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:
    « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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    DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

    CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

    TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

    Offline exhausted

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    Is your Parent troubled?
    « Reply #13 on: January 28, 2007, 10:39:44 AM »
    This is too funny, they should set up places for parents who can't cope with their teens and send them away to learn how it's done

    JSYK - I took the test and I died 6000 times over the last 30 years  :o
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    Offline Anonymous

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    Is your Parent troubled?
    « Reply #14 on: January 28, 2007, 11:06:52 AM »
    Concerned your parent will not go willingly?[/size][/color]

    Happy Family Transport Service [/color]


    One of our trained experts leading a happy client's problem parent away, on his way to start a better life.




      Our newly upgraded van, bring your friends, we can fit them all!


      We use the latest in NON LETHAL restraining technology to reduce stress and gain control over the situation before things get out of hand. This reduces physical contact, and establishes an aura of control of which the parent must become accustomed to in order to make treatment effective and long lasting. We provide discreet service early in the morning, if you wish to not be present, we understand and will do our best to provide a non confrontational situation using the element of surprise.


      Call Today -- 1-800-DAD-NAPS -- 1-800-MOM-NAPS[/color][/list]
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