Please remind me...

[try another castle]

...NEVER to bring up my placement (at CEDU) to my parents, ever again.

I had some questions that had been nagging me, mainly about what the schools promised my parents and what they said they would do, in addition to my supposed "option". Just some blanks I needed to have filled in.

They BLEW THE FUCK UP. I mentioned at the start that this had nothing to do with critiquing their decision, it was simply some queries about what the school told them. Big mistake. It launched into a huge argument about the fact that I needed to go there and that they were "walking  on eggshells" around me. My stepfather chimed in and tried to browbeat me into how irrational I was back then. I said "Look, I'm not even here to talk about this, and I don't know how many times and how many different ways I can tell you that. I just have some questions about what the school said it would do." There was also the "why are  you thinking about this after all this time?" stuff, as well. An hour and a half later, I felt reasonably shut down and embarrassed.

Stupid stupid stupid. ***bangs head against wall*** Definitely my bad, that I would think that this could be a rational, adult conversation. If my stepfather ever tries to bring this up, I'm going to tell him to shut the fuck up. I'm never going to talk with them about this again. Castle, you're a fucking tard-o. ::ftard::

Let sleeping parents lie. :scared:  ::bangin::  ::noway::

[try another castle]

Guilt etc.

Isn't that the new sister franchise to the Mail Boxes etc. chain, where you can purchase emotional baggage at wholesale prices?

[Anonymous]

I would have exploded in rage and killed them both on the spot.

It's days like this I'm glad I'm an outsider. (Oh wait.. that's every day.)

[Anonymous]

Yeah some regular posters here on fornits have been getting so busy with the whole guilt tripping business they decided to launch their own profit creating enterprise.

Dr. Phil is a regular poster here?

[try another castle]

Guilt etc.

Isn't that the new sister franchise to the Mail Boxes etc. chain, where you can purchase emotional baggage at wholesale prices?

Yeah some regular posters here on fornits have been getting so busy with the whole guilt tripping business they decided to launch their own profit creating enterprise.

The problem was, I wasn't trying to do that with my parents, but they thought I was, even though I must have explained to them at least ten times in the conversation that this wasn't about that. I should have known better. There are some things you just don't talk to your parents about. Lesson learned.

I would have exploded in rage and killed them both on the spot.

It's days like this I'm glad I'm an outsider. (Oh wait.. that's every day.)

Yes, that makes perfect sense. Kill my parents for having an argument with me. Why didn't I think of that before?  :roll:

[psy]

...NEVER to bring up my placement (at CEDU) to my parents, ever again.

I had some questions that had been nagging me, mainly about what the schools promised my parents and what they said they would do, in addition to my supposed "option". Just some blanks I needed to have filled in.

They BLEW THE FUCK UP. I mentioned at the start that this had nothing to do with critiquing their decision, it was simply some queries about what the school told them. Big mistake. It launched into a huge argument about the fact that I needed to go there and that they were "walking  on eggshells" around me. My stepfather chimed in and tried to browbeat me into how irrational I was back then. I said "Look, I'm not even here to talk about this, and I don't know how many times and how many different ways I can tell you that. I just have some questions about what the school said it would do." There was also the "why are  you thinking about this after all this time?" stuff, as well. An hour and a half later, I felt reasonably shut down and embarrassed.

Stupid stupid stupid. ***bangs head against wall*** Definitely my bad, that I would think that this could be a rational, adult conversation. If my stepfather ever tries to bring this up, I'm going to tell him to shut the fuck up. I'm never going to talk with them about this again. Castle, you're a fucking tard-o. ::ftard::

Let sleeping parents lie. :scared:  ::bangin::  ::noway::

Yes i can relate.  Oh yes i can relate.  Preach brother preach.

Let me guess.  One parent is more reponsive than the other?

[try another castle]

...NEVER to bring up my placement (at CEDU) to my parents, ever again.

I had some questions that had been nagging me, mainly about what the schools promised my parents and what they said they would do, in addition to my supposed "option". Just some blanks I needed to have filled in.

They BLEW THE FUCK UP. I mentioned at the start that this had nothing to do with critiquing their decision, it was simply some queries about what the school told them. Big mistake. It launched into a huge argument about the fact that I needed to go there and that they were "walking  on eggshells" around me. My stepfather chimed in and tried to browbeat me into how irrational I was back then. I said "Look, I'm not even here to talk about this, and I don't know how many times and how many different ways I can tell you that. I just have some questions about what the school said it would do." There was also the "why are  you thinking about this after all this time?" stuff, as well. An hour and a half later, I felt reasonably shut down and embarrassed.

Stupid stupid stupid. ***bangs head against wall*** Definitely my bad, that I would think that this could be a rational, adult conversation. If my stepfather ever tries to bring this up, I'm going to tell him to shut the fuck up. I'm never going to talk with them about this again. Castle, you're a fucking tard-o. ::ftard::

Let sleeping parents lie. :scared:  ::bangin::  ::noway::

Yes i can relate.  Oh yes i can relate.  Preach brother preach.

Let me guess.  One parent is more reponsive than the other?

More like, one parent had a shit-fit, while the other one kind of listened to the carnage on the sidelines. At one point, I asked my stepfather "Wait a minute, why are you talking to me about this? Where the fuck did mom go?"

[Nihilanthic]

I love how they attack you for the fact that they put you through hell on earth.

I can't believe that. I honestly can't. This is the crux of my "issues with authority". They FUCKED UP, MAJORLY, they should be held accountable for that... but all any parent does is act like ANYTHING they do with their child, even a SPECTACULAR FAILURE (in the case of CEDU 'cause you got the gay) is to act as if they are above reproach and get violently defensive.

I guess you love them because they are your parents, but I sure as hell couldn't cut my own family slack for putting me in some place and then putting plugs in their ears for months and not talking to me to let it continue happening.

 :-? But yeah... its prolly better for you to just not talk about it with them unless you want to push them until they cry. Not that I wouldn't want to do that were I in your shoes, but I'm not you!

[try another castle]

I should probably mention that my mom, at least, said that the gay factor didn't play into it. Nor did she say that the school told her they would fix that. She actually didn't even know. It was my dad who knew, and I honestly don't know for certain if that was an issue. I do know that he wasn't too thrilled when he found out about it. Based on this conversation I just had, I am certainly not going to ask my dad about it.  Apparently, he was the person who found out about the school, I believe through an ed con.

I really got over the resentment aspect of this. But having an argument certainly makes me a little aggravated. Like I said, though, it was a bad idea. I went into it not planning to talk about why they sent me or anything, they were very specific questions about what the school's advertising pitch was, but I was foolish to think that it wouldn't "go there", even though I didn't want it to.

[hanzomon4]

I'm so sick and tired of parents who are so willing to ship their kids off and then attempt to avoid the role they played in the abuse of their children.
I feel that such behavior is worse when

• The child is not trying to guilt trip them and
• They have every right to guilt trip them.....

psy, tac, you two must have the patience of a mountain because you're both sane and civil. I'm sorry this just feels so wrong to me, how parents demand perfection from their kids and can't/won't address their own imperfections..
Fuck! I'm pissed   :flame:

[try another castle]

I'm so sick and tired of parents who are so willing to ship their kids off and then attempt to avoid the role they played in the abuse of their children.
I feel that such behavior is worse when

• The child is not trying to guilt trip them and
• They have every right to guilt trip them.....

psy, tac, you two must have the patience of a mountain because you're both sane and civil. I'm sorry this just feels so wrong to me, how parents demand perfection from their kids and can't/won't address their own imperfections..
Fuck! I'm pissed   :flame:

Well, first of all, my parents didn't know that there was any abuse going on. When they saw me, I was happy and smiling (read: brainwashed). When I came out, I was happy and smiling. Then I  went to college. It took years for that shit to wear off. They figured it fixed me. My mom was shocked when I mentioned to her last week that they had no licensed staff there. She said "What? There were no therapists or psychologists or anything?" I said "Mom, the most 'experience' some of these people had was simply going through the program themselves when they were a teen." I initially wasn't even planning on talking about that, but that's the direction the conversation went...

Now, I will be the first to admit that I have a problem with the overall notion of shipping your child off to solve any discipline problems, especially since problems are rarely simply the teen's, it's a family problem, and needs to be dealt with as such. Yes, I take issue with that. But my parents didn't knowingly put me into an abusive situation. They were just freaked out and ignorant.

The point is, it's more than just patience. One, it's realizing they didn't have any concept of what was happening. Two, it's a boundary issue with the parents. I busted my boundary last week, much to my chagrin, and against my better judgment.

and oh.. I am anything but sane. You should see the crazy hamster wheel going on in my head.

Ginger had a link of it somewhere....

EDIT: Wait, here it is.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... 0646340376

[Nihilanthic]

I still don't get how they could go without any contact with you at all...

ARGH. Its just such incredible bullshit... but they are, infact, your parents, so I guess its different for you than I.

Having been betrayed by only one and not both I guess its easier for me to call a spade a spade and go FUCK YOU DAD, but oh well.

[try another castle]

I still don't get how they could go without any contact with you at all...

ARGH. Its just such incredible bullshit... but they are, infact, your parents, so I guess its different for you than I.

Having been betrayed by only one and not both I guess its easier for me to call a spade a spade and go FUCK YOU DAD, but oh well.

We had contact. Although it was monitored, until upper school when you got the privilege to seal your mail and make phone calls on your own. CEDU wasn't as bad as some of the other places when it came to communication. The worst was the first on-campus visit, though. We were supposed to "cop out" and read our disclosure list to our parents. Can you say "awkward"?

Needless to say, I got into trouble before my first visit and didn't get to see them until several months later. That was by design, on my part. I was half disappointed and half relieved. Ha ha! Fuck you Mom and Dad!

[psy]

I should probably mention that my mom, at least, said that the gay factor didn't play into it.

Yeah.  Don't believe a word of that shit.  My parents still try to say that.  Of course they don't know i have a copy of the "issues" letter they sent to Bmark when they sent me there (in which "confused sexuality") was their big "issue".  They can try and rewrite history all they want but i know what the truth of the matter was.  It's interesting... the differences between what parents will tell you to your face, and what they will say to a program.

I wouldn't be surprised if your parents sent you off to de-fag you.  It happens a lot.  Sometimes parents do it to change their kids, sometimes they just do it to get rid of a social embarrassment... an awkward fashion accessory...

I forgive them because they were (are) ignorant...  but that took at while... a long while.

[Deborah]

You know your comfort level, but I don't think it was 'the wrong' thing to do at all. People don't just flip out of denial. Takes a while. I'd keep bringing it up until the shock wears off. There are many things your parents need to know. Don't have any expectation, except to present them with the truth. Their reaction is their 'responsibility'.

Too bad if they don't want to hear it. Put it on a cassette tape, write a letter, compile a whole packet which they can read as they have the courage to do so. Whadda think they'll do? Keel over dead? Send you to another program? Beat you around the head with TSW's ball peen hammer?