Do you think it's better to try and forget the bad parts of your life so you can move on? Or do you think it is better to relive the experiences through memory and writing, and by reminding yourself daily of the child torture that still continues today by reading about it?
What is your strategy for dealing with these things?
Dealing with the industry itself. And when i say "dealing with it" I mean activism, finding survivors, research, organizing to shut the place down (generally raising hell).
Do i mean revenge? No. And you shouldn't do it for that purpose. Do it because you would have wanted somebody to be helping you out when you were in program. Do it to find out the full extent of how your mind was played with. Revenge can only fuel you for so long. You will eventually burn out if that is all you are after.
Do you ever get to a point where you feel like you are dragging yourself down with negativity?
It's not negativity to help others. It isn't negativity Program teaches you that your valid complaints aren't. Forget or redefine the word "negativity".
"Negativity" is the program's way of saying "shut the fuck up you worthless [generic issue] scum. You're criticising a "good thing"!"
Do you ever feel like it would just be easier to forget everything about your past and start over and move on in a new city or something? Is that even possible? :-?
It isn't possible. You don't face your past by running from it. You face your past by dealing with it. It's hard, but you will feel better afterwards. That I promise.
Oh yeah. I forgot to mention that things you repress will fuck with you in ways you won't realize until you deal with them.
You can attempt to ignore the past for a while, but the memories and the effects of program are still there. The longer you suppress things the more it
will hurt when you
do deal with things. You can't ignore the past forever, trust me on this.
You want to feel better? Research what was done to you(most likely far more than you realize). Talk to other survivors. Get involved in activism. Tell your story. At least in my experience, these things have helped me to feel better far more than any head-shrink could.
