Author Topic: Re: Thank you (Read 3899 times)

Nihilanthic · « **on:** December 15, 2006, 01:04:48 PM »

Quote from: ""TB Mom""

My son is at TB right now. After all the research after sending him there, he is coming home. Yes, I am to blame for not looking more into these programs before he left. He will have a new beginning at home and I, as well, with parenting. I thank all former students that have spoke out about this abuse. If it wasnt for you, I would not be going this week to pick up my son. After I have him home, the school does not know yet, I will post my experience as a parent and my son as a student. There has to be something done about these schools.

A Mom

The first thing you need to do, is tell him you will never make him do anything again. Ever. He really needs to know that nobody will ever hurt him or otherwise coerse him anymore, and that he's actually safe now.

Then, take him to a shrink, IF he is willing to go, and try to collect evidence of the abuse so this can be stopped from happening to any other children ever again. A psych. evaluation could go a long way.

Oh, and just so you know WWASPS WILL bullshit you and say you cant take him out, bla bla bla bla bla. You might have to forcibly remove him. You should talk to a lawyer now...

And it might be a good idea to have pictures taken and a physical examination if he shows any marks, bruises, joint damage from restraints or just ill health and malnutrution as more evidence.

I'm glad you're getting him out, but your son is really, really, really fucked up right now - mostly mentally, and YOU are going to be hurting from this all too soon yourself, so be ready for it. You did give him the christmas present of freedom, at the very least.

I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. You fucked up majorly, he has no reason to trust you or anyone right now, he is going to be mentally and socially screwed up for a long, long time, and is going to need a lot of therapy. Hopefully this time, however, you'll know not to force it and let him do it at his own pace.

You know what else? He might want to run away, might not want to see you ever again, he might even hate you. And now its time to be a parent and accept that, for HIS SAKE... becuase until you get him out, he is in hell, quite literally!

And scores of children will remain in that hell hole, and some will be newly going to it, too.

And if you don't speak out, and if you dont collect that very hard to find evidence, it will continue.

Nihilanthic · « **Reply #1 on:** December 16, 2006, 09:57:58 AM »

Er, Admins?

Why did this post get its own thread after the threadsplit? :question:

jnzmom · « **Reply #2 on:** December 19, 2006, 02:03:38 PM »

Quote from: ""Nihilanthic"

he has no reason to trust you or anyone right now, he is going to be mentally and socially screwed up for a long, long time, and is going to need a lot of therapy. Hopefully this time, however, you'll know not to force it and let him do it at his own pace.

You know what else? He might want to run away, might not want to see you ever again, he might even hate you. And now its time to be a parent and accept that, for HIS SAKE... becuase until you get him out, he is in hell, quite literally!

Of course, this is an opinion or assumption, which is possible that he could in the future feel this way. As of right now, he is not like that. Things could change; however, we will be going to therapy. As for trust, Josh and I talked and he is happy that I believed him and brought him home. He told me he doesnt regret going, but that it was a wake up call and needed to come home asap. I just need to learn to trust him and listen to him. This a good start for us.

Thank you for the advice though. We will take it day by day, but I will also take your comments into consideration if or when the time comes.

Thanks,
JNZMOM

Nihilanthic · « **Reply #3 on:** December 20, 2006, 01:33:59 PM »

It is a possibility, not a prediction. A lot of people don't exactly like being forced into brainwashing and abuse for an extended period of time, especially if it involves their parents going along with nonsense like "no communication until he earns it" and "don't believe him if he says its bad, its MANIPULATION."

At any rate, I'm glad he's able to "make the most" out of being in a carribean gulag (or at least act like it to you because he learned how to 'work the program') but you can't say Tranquility Bay is a "wake up call" anymore than being raped is. They're both ultimately roughly equivilant in terms of therapeutic value and what they do to someone mentally.

I'm not here preaching the end of the world or your relationship with your son, but if someone just spent months in total isolation at the mercy of Jay Kay and Tranquility Bay's staff... you're gonna be fucked up!

There is still the very real component of being 'washed' that isn't going to wear off instantly, and the very real fact that making the most of a program is coping and trying to 'grow' DESPITE the conditions that you are in. His "not regretting going" to Tranquility Bay I do firmly expect to do a big fat 180* on when he finally sees a real shrink and gets back in the real world and the bullshit Gilcrease crammed into his skull wears out.

Give it 6 months, then come back and read this thread, and you'll see what I mean. BTW, have you talked to any WWASPS or Tranquilty Bay survivors or read thier personal accounts yet? Or just anyone who survived a program in general? Again, I'm not out to beat on you, but... you still have a long ways to go before you really understand what went on, it seems.

jnzmom · « **Reply #4 on:** December 20, 2006, 01:44:48 PM »

Yes, I have a long way to go. So does my son. We will take it one day at a time. Yes, I have red stories of other survivors, and understand that time will only tell on what effects he will have from going to TB. I am just quoting what he told me on "not regretting going there"

Thanks for your input.

Nihilanthic · « **Reply #5 on:** December 20, 2006, 01:51:49 PM »

Quote from: ""jnzmom""

Yes, I have a long way to go. So does my son. We will take it one day at a time. Yes, I have red stories of other survivors, and understand that time will only tell on what effects he will have from going to TB. I am just quoting what he told me on "not regretting going there"

Thanks for your input.

Ma'am, you DO realize your son WAS BRAINWASHED, right? You DO realize brainwashing is VERY MUCH REAL, right?

My advice to you would be to read up on what Rick Ross (the academic, not the rapper...) has had to say about mind control and behavior modification and cults, and try to gain a little understanding about all of this.

It takes a lot of time to trust ANYONE enough to really open up about what happened in a program, especially considering that the way WWASPS works, they either made you (or lied and said that you...) are the reason he is there and will never be pulled out and would not believe him if he said what happened there.

That is why this is so sick and so depraved and so harmful to these kids, JNZmom. Thats one of the many reasons me and a lot of other people here have been trying for years to stop this and get through to people like you who got hoodwinked but still have the ability to think rationally and weren't totally brainwashed themselves, yet.

But in all honesty, the wake up call TB sends is to you, and to the United States in general... and so few people have heard it. I'm glad you have, though... for his sake and for the sake of everyone else who might end up in TB that we just might save from it.

Anonymous · « **Reply #6 on:** December 20, 2006, 02:07:14 PM »

Chill out Niles. She'll figure this shit out on her own. I'm more worried right now about all the other families still caught up in this shit, and I'm really curious about those other 35 parents she emailed. A few more people and maybe they'll all wake up to what's really been done to their children here.

69 · « **Reply #7 on:** December 20, 2006, 02:09:06 PM »

While you still have all the paperwork and that stuff recent it would be useful to save it. Even letters and stuff. I would be curious to know information about the referal setup and how that all works and if they still pay parents a thousand dollars per kid they bring in, etc.

jnzmom · « **Reply #8 on:** December 20, 2006, 02:16:46 PM »

At all the schools, you receive a free months tuition if another child is enrolled in any of the schools.

Anonymous · « **Reply #9 on:** December 20, 2006, 02:28:45 PM »

Have you ever stopped to think how seriously unethical that is? I mean you don't see hospital juvenile psychiatric wards say "If you find another kid to be put here, we'll give you a discount", do you? This wouldn't be right even if it was treatment, which it's not.

jnzmom · « **Reply #10 on:** December 20, 2006, 02:33:10 PM »

What I had a hard time with was, I am not suppose to believe my son because he has lied in the past, but I am suppose to trust and believe people I have never met.

That was tough. Also, Josh said it was tough because he wanted so bad for us to believe him.

Nihilanthic · « **Reply #11 on:** December 20, 2006, 02:37:36 PM »

But he doesn't regret being sent there, huh.

:roll:

See what I mean? See how messed up this is? Do you see how bad that would seriously fuck up someone having to live for months with JUST THAT hanging over them, let alone everything they did to him every day?

hanzomon4 · « **Reply #12 on:** December 21, 2006, 05:14:44 PM »

Nihilanthic, I think she'll get it in time..... I'm just glad you(jnz) got him out. You(jnz) did send him there and he knows that... He also know that you got him out and that you believed him. I think that will go a long way in you earning his trust again and also in forgiving yourself for sending him there.

If, or when, he gets mad at you just except his anger and allow him to express it openly and honestly without taking it personal. You made a big mistake, but you were duped by very intelligent crooks who preyed upon your desperation. So don't feel guilty beacause that helps no one. Use this experience to educate others so that they won't make the same mistake you made.

The only way to bring about change is to confront ignorance, apathy, and indifference. Your most powerful weapon is your voice, so use it.

Anonymous · « **Reply #13 on:** December 21, 2006, 08:56:27 PM »

jnz, good that you brought him home.

I think one day at a time is probably a good way to handle it.

Niles, please realize that she is not necessarily minimizing what he's going through and gone through---the both of them are detoxing from this. Him from a truly horrific calamity, her to a lesser extent (but still real) from the guilt of having screwed up in protecting her baby.

You aren't a parent. This mom isn't making it all about her, so I can have some sympathy knowing the "Oh, crap, I screwed up this bad with my baby!" she must be feeling -- Your kid is always your baby.

Sure, this is, for real and legitimately, all about him. But his mom is still coming to terms with whatever it was *she* was told to sell her on TB, and with whatever they were telling her while he was there.

She'll recover from that mini-brainwashing a lot sooner than he will, but have a little patience. The woman is still in shock.

At least she's not asking us to throw a pity party for *her* like a lot of the really bad parents.

She's got the focus for that "one day at a time" where it should be--on her son.

Julie

jnzmom · « **Reply #14 on:** December 21, 2006, 09:39:54 PM »

Thanks Julie,

You hit the nail on the head. I love my son so much. I am glad that I did the gut feeling on the program. He knows I love him.

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