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Author Topic: Want to work at Elan?  (Read 2980 times)

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Offline Tribal Chief Kruglik

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Want to work at Elan?
« on: August 21, 2006, 10:42:15 AM »
Elan is opening a new house. Called Elan 9, this house will be reserved for kids who did nothing wrong, but whose parents wanted to punish them because they did such a lousy job raising them. Every day Chief Kruglik will beat the students about the head with rubber dicks to wake them up. Chief Kruglik will also institute mandatory hi yuh yuh yuh encounter groups four times a week. Anyone who doesn't get their feelings off will be subjected to three-hour general meetings with Chief Kruglik doing buffalo dances and farting into a fire.

Tania/Tony Merette will also give opera concerts twice a month at Elan 9 with her famed shrill soprano voice screeching out such Italian classics as "Whoretto El Stoppo Playing Gamezo" and "Thatza Genral Meetinz Nicea."

Requirements for working at Elan 9 includes certifications in hi yuh yuh yuh therapy and child abuse. Experience in buffalo sodomy preferred but not required.
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Offline Tribal Chief Kruglik

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« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2006, 01:59:55 PM »
Me suh bring back Marty Kruglik's Greatest Hits for me suh MMR.

Time for morning meeting. Me suh do the song.

Me suh Marty Kruglik
Me suh live in tepee
Me suh scalp young boys
Me suh play with pee pee

Me suh jack off buffalo
Me suh lick its balls
Me suh love squirrels too
Me suh drop my drawers

Me suh bathe in Portajohn
Me suh not very clean
Me suh no really care
Me suh scalp troubled teen!

Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh

OK shotdowns, time to GI!
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2006, 08:58:49 AM »
:rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:


I do not care what anyone says this is some funny shit!
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Offline Tribal Chief Kruglik

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« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2006, 11:09:35 AM »
Thank you!  You suh send resume and picture of buffalo to hiyuhtherapist@hotmail.com.  Me suh will respond!
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2006, 10:21:52 PM »
:o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o



    I have lived to tell the tale of Elan........
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Want to work at Elan?
« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2006, 01:07:57 AM »
Quote from: ""Tribal Chief Kruglik""
Elan is opening a new house. Called Elan 9, this house will be reserved for kids who did nothing wrong, but whose parents wanted to punish them because they did such a lousy job raising them. Every day Chief Kruglik will beat the students about the head with rubber dicks to wake them up. Chief Kruglik will also institute mandatory hi yuh yuh yuh encounter groups four times a week. Anyone who doesn't get their feelings off will be subjected to three-hour general meetings with Chief Kruglik doing buffalo dances and farting into a fire.

Tania/Tony Merette will also give opera concerts twice a month at Elan 9 with her famed shrill soprano voice screeching out such Italian classics as "Whoretto El Stoppo Playing Gamezo" and "Thatza Genral Meetinz Nicea."

Requirements for working at Elan 9 includes certifications in hi yuh yuh yuh therapy and child abuse. Experience in buffalo sodomy preferred but not required.



Ok!!  Yes!!  Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!  You've got some originality there, some actual thought and humor.  

Nicely done grasshopper, nicely done. :tup:
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #6 on: August 23, 2006, 03:39:22 PM »
:rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:


Like I said this be sum funny shit!
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Offline Hi-yuh-yuh-Therapist

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« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2006, 10:36:31 AM »
Regarding the elan 9 house. Students will be held there for at least 5 years and unqualified staff and directors will run the joint. The students wake up will be at 4:30 am except Sat and Sun where they will be able to sleep in till 6:00 am.

The house will be run by some of the sickest unqualified people elan can conjur up. Anne Flyn has been considered for the job as well.

All students will have to wear signs 24/7 and GI everything, including the dirt outside the house. The highest position a student can achieve at E-9 will be senior shotdown.

Tonya will also be a director at this house and run her realtor office out of it as well. there also will be an official boxing ring in the house and bets will be placed on the students just like back in the days. TCK hopes that the bets will generate huge revenue.
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ribal Chief Kruglik\'s personal Therapist
Respect the \"Hi yuh yuh yuh\"

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2006, 02:15:25 PM »
Funny?

I find myself with the same thought in my head after reading 99.9% of all the posts here.

"Thats gotta be the dumbest fuckin thing Ive ever read"

I suppose the same people who think ANYTHING here is humorous are the same people who bookmark rotten.com.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2006, 02:22:00 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
I find myself with the same thought in my head after reading 99.9% of all the posts here.

"Thats gotta be the dumbest fuckin thing Ive ever read"


and yet you read on.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #10 on: August 24, 2006, 04:25:01 PM »
LOL.......Touche'.......... :rofl:
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #11 on: August 24, 2006, 05:43:02 PM »
Touche my ass.
Reading the disturbed shit in here is, at worst; a sadistic ritual whereas  thinking and typing the severely disturbing prose within is, by most accounts a perfect example of mental illness.
I know, I know...Elan is responsible for the sicknesses you all share.

Fornits is trully an island populated by the mentally disturbed.
I am merely an observer, taking notes as I gaze in disbelief through this telescope called Mozilla firefox.

Intrigueing yes.

Funny?

Nah.

PS. Do you folks know Kruglik hasnt worked at Elan for a long time?
Sorry for the buzzkill kids...Lets move on to the next mundayne boorish subject shall we?
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #12 on: August 24, 2006, 06:56:25 PM »
How stupid do you have to be to continue to read a forum where you feel that 99.9% of the posts are stupid?  Actively attempting to dumb yourself down even further or are you already comfortable at that level?
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #13 on: August 24, 2006, 06:59:46 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
Touche my ass.
Reading the disturbed shit in here is, at worst; a sadistic ritual whereas  thinking and typing the severely disturbing prose within is, by most accounts a perfect example of mental illness.
I know, I know...Elan is responsible for the sicknesses you all share.

Fornits is trully an island populated by the mentally disturbed.
I am merely an observer, taking notes as I gaze in disbelief through this telescope called Mozilla firefox.

Intrigueing yes.

Funny?

Nah.

PS. Do you folks know Kruglik hasnt worked at Elan for a long time?
Sorry for the buzzkill kids...Lets move on to the next mundayne boorish subject shall we?




Hey Sparky next time you ATTEMPT to make a "profound" and "insightfull" statement you might wanna use the spell check.
LOL....... :rofl:
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #14 on: August 24, 2006, 07:01:41 PM »
You are just  :flame:  because we don't wanna share our toys with you!
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