The Who

[RobertBruce]

ASR just worked for her and helped her figure things out.

This I believe more than anything else showcases what is wrong with Cindy's thinking. Cindy assumes that his daughter came out okay from ASR, therefore the same must be true for everyone else.

Even if your daughter did manage to come out unscathed from one of these places, she's in the minority.

[Anonymous]

What THE WHO does not GET:  His daughter spent almost a year at ASR....then another 2 years not speaking to THE WHO.  Somewhere during this 3 year period: this young woman simple GREW UP....and most of the growing period took place AWAY FROM ASR and away from this stupid parent.

GET IT, ok THEWHO this girl coming to her senses was simply her own GROWIN UP A BIT---and she was able to do this in what appears to be some meaningful way, only when she was away from YOU, and ASR

[Ganja]

CCM Girl is being a troll, plain and simple.

She doesn't mean a word of what she says; she just wants to see how much of a reaction she can get.

[TheWho]

psy wrote:

And i'm sure she believes that too. It takes a while for the kool-aid to wear off. Kool-aid half-life is different from person to person.

Do yourself a favor... ask her exactly... and have her quantify: What skills did she learn? I can almost guarantee... she will not be able to answer that question... why? Because the only thing she learned, is to say "i learned valuble life skills... etc."

We have talked about this off and on over the last few years and she says she seems more at ease about stuff, about her future.  She is not all flipped out about what others think as much and has learned to talk openly about what she wants and what her needs are.
She is much more settled with herself and happier.  So as far as skills I would say the ability to communicate better and ask for what she needs, would be a couple I can think of.  I will ask her again what she thinks now that we are a few years out.

[psy]

I will ask her again what she thinks now that we are a few years out.

That will be interesting.  

[Oz girl]

I am not the type to flip out over some pot, piercings, type of dress etc.  ASR just worked for her and helped her figure things out.

A lot of parents say this yet they are willing to allow their kid to be incarcerated for 2 years in a place that spends 24/7 flipping out over far less than a few piercings or pot. Lets not forget the interrogation and subsequent public humiliation that caused ashley to throw herself in front of a truck. This was because she had sex. Lets not forget that ARS deems friendships that centre around talking about video games unhealthy and bans them.
Doesn't it send a mixed message to a kid to send them to a place which freaks out about all of these things if you personally don't?

[RobertBruce]

We have talked about this off and on over the last few years and she says she seems more at ease about stuff, about her future. She is not all flipped out about what others think as much and has learned to talk openly about what she wants and what her needs are.
She is much more settled with herself and happier. So as far as skills I would say the ability to communicate better and ask for what she needs, would be a couple I can think of. I will ask her again what she thinks now that we are a few years out.

Yes other people call this "growing up" your daughter would have gotten there anyway, all you did by sending her there was give her alot more to deal with and alot more things to have to get over. That and another reason to hate you.

[TheWho]

I am not the type to flip out over some pot, piercings, type of dress etc.  ASR just worked for her and helped her figure things out.

A lot of parents say this yet they are willing to allow their kid to be incarcerated for 2 years in a place that spends 24/7 flipping out over far less than a few piercings or pot. Lets not forget the interrogation and subsequent public humiliation that caused ashley to throw herself in front of a truck. This was because she had sex. Lets not forget that ARS deems friendships that centre around talking about video games unhealthy and bans them.
Doesn't it send a mixed message to a kid to send them to a place which freaks out about all of these things if you personally don't?

I realize some of the rules are a little silly.  Places which house lots of different people have many rules to protect the many issues each of them may have.  In my Childs school they cant store peanut products in their locker, the teachers cant talk about God anymore, no smoking or using foul language, no tan hooded sweat shirts etc.  Some of these apply to my own house but not all of them but we need to abide for the sake of others whom they are in place to protect.  I don?t think it sends a mix message, the rules at our home are clear and others have their rules to follow.

[Oz girl]

if it were just that the rules were a little silly this would be ok. I had to wear a ridiculous school uniform for 12 yrs and it was not scarring. I would say it was silly though
However ASR is far more sisnster than that. They drive kids over the edge. look at WITTPMT. Look at the fact that DJ was actually doing really well until they banned the only meaningful friendship he had for the most petty of reasons. Look at the fact that Ashley threw herself in front of a truck when she found out she wouhl have to do another year there. Look at the psychodramas that the kids were forced to participate in.

[RobertBruce]

Youre telling your kid its not a big deal if she smokes pot.

ASR is telling her if she does she's a drug addict and will be deadorinjail if she doesnt stop.

Do you see the conflict?

[RobertBruce]

Oh and I'm still waiting on you to answer this Cindy:

Quote:

Wait wait wait......tell me when did this "long debate" take place, and with whom? Further at when point were you deemed an expert that you can decide what is best for parents? Cindy you arent even close to be able to make such a call, your own daughter by your own addmission hates you. The thing I can't decide is if youre just crazy and really believe your own selfimportance or if youre just an asshole. Probably a little of both.

[TheWho]

if it were just that the rules were a little silly this would be ok. I had to wear a ridiculous school uniform for 12 yrs and it was not scarring. I would say it was silly though
However ASR is far more sisnster than that. They drive kids over the edge. look at WITTPMT. Look at the fact that DJ was actually doing really well until they banned the only meaningful friendship he had for the most petty of reasons. Look at the fact that Ashley threw herself in front of a truck when she found out she wouhl have to do another year there. Look at the psychodramas that the kids were forced to participate in.

Oz Girl, I don?t think the rules drive anyone over the edge or that we know the cause of individual suicides.  They have experts who cannot figure out why someone takes their own life or snaps.  If a friendship is ended whether it is healthy or not is going to cause distress.  If you break off a friendship with someone and they take their life do you really think the only cause is the break up of the friendship?  Was it your fault for breaking it off?  Should you go to jail?  There was probably more going on in that person life and it was festering for a long time?.

[Oz girl]

I wasnt suggesting friendship bans drove anyone to suicide. As you would know from reading this book before recommending it to me this did not happen.
But lets look at what did happen. A "therapist" suspected a girl who was emotionally fragile and troubled was in a sexual relationship.
She interrogated the girl for hours on end until finally the girl broke down and confessed as did her love interest.
She then forced the couple to confess to the entire group who all were encouraged to verbally express their disgust and judgement.
The girl in question was then told she would have to spend another year at ASR because they were giving her the "gift" of a second chance
So delighted with this gift was young ashley that she threw herself in front of a truck. She ended up in a psych ward.
I would argue that ASR actively pushed Ashleys suicidal feelings.

Again a silly rule is no gum chewing, or my school favourite, it is unladylike to be seen eating apples on the Street. What ASR kids were subjected to were not silly rules.
Do you think who that 28 months in such an environment may have contributed to your daughter not speaking to you for 2 years as you say happened

[TheWho]

Oz Girl Wrote:

Again a silly rule is no gum chewing, or my school favourite, it is unladylike to be seen eating apples on the Street. What ASR kids were subjected to were not silly rules.
Do you think who that 28 months in such an environment may have contributed to your daughter not speaking to you for 2 years as you say happened

I dont think the silly rules contrubuted to this.  My daughter was there about 16 months and she didnt run off or stop speaking to me.......

[Anonymous]

 My daughter was there about 16 months and she didnt run off or stop speaking to me.......

yea, that wasn't until AFTER she got out.