Hang in there Dragonfly... nothing stays the way it is for very long.
What is normalcy anyway?? On any given day things can be completely different than they were the day before, sometimes better, sometimes way worse. The beautiful thing is that no two days will be the same. Who is to say what is normal??
We all have the " surface" life and the "beneath" the surface life. Sometimes there is balance between the two, other times there is not.
You are not alone Dragonfly. Keep on falling in love, living your life, being who you are...no matter what your internal struggles are, you are still HERE, and that takes strength my friend.
Peace