Author Topic: Struggling Snivelers  (Read 8943 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Struggling Snivelers
« on: May 15, 2006, 11:05:00 PM »
http://www.strugglingteens.org/cgi-bin/ ... p=1#000007

Posted by: goldenguru
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I know that this can be a really bittersweet day for moms. My last 2 mothers days were spent shedding lots of tears as our dear child was far away physically (in her TBS) and emotionally (due to anger toward us).

But, with time, I believe they come to understand the gravity of this decision on US, and the depths to which we love them.

Placing a child is a SACRIFICE .... defined by Webster as " the forfeiture of something highly valued, for the sake of something of much greater value ". We are forfeiting the time of the here and now, for the time, the hopes and dreams of much better tomorrows.

Happy Mothers Day!!

--------------------
Kelly

Posted by: RandomWalk
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Thanks GG. Mother's Day 2004 my son was at the TBS, but due to come home in a couple of weeks. The worse one was the year before when he was still at home and causing chaos in all of our lives. I was telling God that I didn't think I had signed up for this whole "Mother" thing!
Placing a child IS a sacrifice- even sending your child to a regular boarding school is a sacrifice, but putting them somewhere where you KNOW they will unhappy and be even angrier at you- at least in the short term- is SO hard. I guess that is why we have each other here on this board.

Posted by: exladycop
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What a nice post. Happy Mother's Day to all us so deserving mothers. This is actually my first mother's day without my son "physically", "mentally" he hasn't been with me for quite some time. I'm hoping next mother's day, will have both. It IS a sacrafice to put them in these schools. When we took our "mother's oath" we promised to love, cherish, protect and care for them till they were ready to face the world on their own. Something beyond our control (or was it?) happened along the way and we had to trust their wellbeing and growth to the care of others. We tried our best, but our best wasn't good enough - for them anyway. Part of being a mother, I guess. So, Happy Mother's day to all of us who did our best, loved our hardest, tried our darndest and are now doing something we believe will make our children as good as we are. Here's to next Mother's Day where we can all be together.

Posted by: Leslie6
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I totally agree. Yesterday was a hard day without my son, but he calls me every Sunday night, so it was nice to hear from him, he said hi first, and then I paused, and he said "Happy Mothers Day" to me. We had a good talk, so that is good. Very hard day, espeically since I don't think my son will ever live at home with me again, he says it is not just me he says he can't live here with me because of the "bad people" that may go after him after they learn he is here. Sad. oh well, I guess this will help me learn better in how to let go and let him make decisions on his own, good or bad, but hopefully better than before. He was going to tell me on this call yesterday about what he did before I sent him away, and apoloagize to me, and he did, he said he was very sorry, that he was rude to me, and things got way out of hand. I asked him if he was doing more than just pot, and he said that he was doing crack for about a month or more. I had no idea. I was so shocked to hear of the crack that I forgot to ask him if he understands now why I had to send him where I did, and we only had a 15 minute phone call, so I will ask him when we are alone together when I go to see him graduate. For some reason, I am not worried aobut being alone with my son now in WA when he graduates from HS. He sent me a letter, which was nice, and I told him I really appreciated that. I also told him that I want to have a good time with him and with him at home for the 4-5 days that he will be here and then I won't see him again for a long time, I am sure we will be in phone or e-mail contact.

I hope everyone had a nice Mother's Day. A very hard day for a lot of us, but hopefully there will be much better days, and Mother's Days ahead.

Take care

Leslie

Posted by: heleneb
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I actually had a very Happy Mother's Day this year. Our son came home for his first home visit (almost 11 months from being sent to wc and tbs). He was only home for 3 days, but it was great to have him home. He did mature in mnay ways and we had some good conversations. He wants total trust and we just aren't able to give it to him right now. All of us parents have been burned so many times that it will take a long time. There were many rules that the kids had to agree to, and he respected most of them.
I feel sorry for my husband as this will be the 2nd Father's Day that our son won't be home. (He was sent to wc 2 days before father's day last year). As each holiday, birthday, and other family celebrations pass, I remind myself that he will be home for them next year. I also count days between our visits. If all goes well, our son will get permission to come home for his siter's graduation next month.
Graduation is only 3 months away. It is great to finally be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Posted by: RandomWalk
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A little off-topic, but today is the 3rd anniversary of the puppy our son bought by stealing our checks, finding a breeder and writing a check! Two weeks and a serious car accident later, he was on his way to wilderness. The dog is the joy of my life, and possibly the most wonderful thing my son has done for me (even though it wasn't supposed to be for ME-we know how THAT goes...), but at the time it was quite a shock. That darling little puppy is now a 125 pound Golden Retriever.

Posted by: exladycop
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Randomwalk: That's a funny story - my son bought an adorable little puppy "pit bull" with money he stole from me also - found one in the paper and cashed one of my checks to buy it. He was "going to take care of it to learn responsibility". I bought that story with my OWN money! His "responsibility" lasted about a week and his friends were his focus again. He left two months later for Wilderness and hasn't been home since. Unfortunately, the pit bull, although a sweetheart of all sweehearts still tried to "play" with my three little miniature pinschers even though he was getting much bigger and they weren't. Sprained one of my little ones legs by accident by running "through" her. I had to find a good home for him which broke my heart because 1) I was attached to him and 2) it was the part of my son he left behind. When we told my son while at Wilderness, he hated us so much but quickly realized that he never should have brought that little thing in our home without our permission to start with. I'm glad your story has a happy ending for all - especially for your little 125lb puppy.

Posted by: RandomWalk
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My friends say that the dog is my son reincarnated as a dog!


[note: wtf??!? @ RandomWalk?]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Troll Control

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« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2006, 11:43:00 PM »
"Poor me, poor me."  God, these people are some real losers.  They messed up their kids, sent them away and then cry that THEIR feelings are hurt.  If any of these people attended to ttheir kids in the first place this wouldn't have to be such a sorry mother's day.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2006, 11:47:00 PM »
These are pathetic excuses for parents.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Nihilanthic

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« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2006, 02:07:00 AM »
I think Ill just stop speaking and just say what THEY say when someone bitches about how Im so hard on them. They do a good enough job making themselves look like... well, you can see for yourself, what do you think about them?

 :roll:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

Offline CCM girl 1989

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« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2006, 12:53:00 PM »
I think that they are playing the part of loving parent. I think they try their hand at acting on Struggling Snivelers first before they try it on the rest of the world.

They are pathetic. They disgust me.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
f you were never in a program, or a parent of a child in a program, then you have no business posting here.

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2006, 07:07:00 PM »
It takes a whole lot of crappy parenting to mess up a kid so much the only way you can deal is to send them away.

Random walk didn't sign up for the "whole mother thing?"  WTF???  Then why did you have a kid, idiot.  Sorry, but when that sperm and egg united you DID sign up.  Its your kid that didn't have any say in it.  I never heard of a kid yet that was born because he or she had an uncontrollable biological urge to be born like people have urges to screw, oh yes and crave having babies.  Then like a plaything they grow tired of, abandon the kid when he or she develps a mind of their own and reflects back to the parent the ego-crushing truth of their failure.

NEWS FLASH:  once  you force a kid into this world you have deal!  Every minute of every day.
The way to do it is build trust and respect from the day you are entrusted with this precious gift so that you deserve true respect, not be a pig and
then demand it.

You guys spoil your kids and ignore them until they get to be so bratty you can't handle it then  you abandon them instead of working out the problem, oh no, that would take time and trouble. Pathetic.  Oh, and happy mother's day even though you told God you didn't sign up for the "mother thing".  Too bad that did not occur to you before you reproduced.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline MightyAardvark

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« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2006, 03:13:00 AM »
It's people like these that are the problem, not Hinton and Lichfield.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
see the children with their boredom and their vacant stares. God help us all if we\'re to blame for their unanswered prayers,

Billy Joel.

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2006, 01:57:00 PM »
I talked to my son on Mother's Day, and he made some amends with me and told me that he now understands why I did what I had to do and send him away.  He admitted that he was out of control, and he has a friend here that he hung out with who is now in jail, and my son said if I hadn't done what I did and cared about him, he might be in jail too.
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Offline MightyAardvark

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« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2006, 02:35:00 PM »
Or possibly you might have tred being a parent.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
see the children with their boredom and their vacant stares. God help us all if we\'re to blame for their unanswered prayers,

Billy Joel.

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2006, 02:37:00 PM »
This is pathetic.  Since everyone on this site is tired of beating the same dead horse they are going over to ST and stealing their posts.  If we *wanted* to read this stuff we would go over there.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2006, 02:38:00 PM »
P & T = Poaching & Trolling.  Get a life.
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Offline OverLordd

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« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2006, 09:13:00 PM »
I agree with TSW
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
our walking down a hallway, you turn left, you turn right. BRICK WALL!

GAH!!!!

Yeah, hes a survivor.

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #12 on: May 21, 2006, 03:55:00 PM »
so then why do you keep trolling over to ST??  I am only here to defend myself as you copied and pasted something I wrote on ST, and put on your site.  You have invaded my privacy, and I don't understand why you keep doing this??  Leave us alone, and I will leave you alone.  I do read some of your posts, but I don't comment, nor do I cut and past your postings and put on ST.  I am only trying to do the best for my son, and he is ok with it.  Nothing bad has ever happened to him at the wilderness or at the TBS, and if I find out that something has, then I will let you know, and there will be consequenses at the TBS, but I talk to my son all the time and he is fine, he also writes letters to me, and he is fine, believe me, if something were going wrong, I would know.  Let us be parents, or at least try to do the best we can.  Some day you will find out, it is hard.  I could go on and on, but I won't.
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Offline Nihilanthic

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« Reply #13 on: May 21, 2006, 05:34:00 PM »
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"so then why do you keep trolling over to ST??  I am only here to defend myself as you copied and pasted something I wrote on ST, and put on your site.
Because everyone there is clearly terrified of me and the words I say, and Ive been banned! Funny how you're so insecure you're forced to see if I speak of you here and then speak up about it.

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You have invaded my privacy, and I don't understand why you keep doing this??
No, I didn't. You posted it on an open forum. Furthermore, based on the way we all know "TBS's" operate, why are you such a whiner about public disclosure and being stood up in group? Its whats so fuckin' therapeutic for your kid, so why cant you take the same medicine?

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Leave us alone, and I will leave you alone.
LEAVE THEM KIDS ALONE, AND I'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE.

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I do read some of your posts, but I don't comment, nor do I cut and past your postings and put on ST.
So you read? What about think or discuss? Critical thinking is a important skill for adults, maybe you should consider finally developing it.

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I am only trying to do the best for my son, and he is ok with it.  Nothing bad has ever happened to him at the wilderness or at the TBS, and if I find out that something has, then I will let you know, and there will be consequenses at the TBS, but I talk to my son all the time and he is fine, he also writes letters to me, and he is fine, believe me, if something were going wrong, I would know.
You say you're doing whats best for your son, and you want to think that for various personal reasons, but the bottom line is the entire industry is a crock.

In 30 years, nobody has proven they work. Nobody has proven efficacy, nobody has proven a god damned thing, yet the methods they deploy have been piecewise debunked and/or demonstrated to be abusive and/or detremental in the long run.

We both know how they control information, how they say if the kid says anything wrong its a lie to be punished or "part of the honeymoon period" or what ever other bullshit they say. Therapy isn't something you force, skinner model behavior modification and mind control you have to by definition.

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Let us be parents, or at least try to do the best we can.  Some day you will find out, it is hard.  I could go on and on, but I won't.
As soon as you feel like being a parent, I'll have a fucking party for you. As it is, all youre doing is putting faith, money, and a living, breathing, sentient, intelligent, thinking being under their control because you BELEIVE something is wrong and BELIEVE they are the only answer. And you know whats even worse? That being is your own offspring (or at least an adopted person you swore to be responsible for) who is not only abandoned and betrayed to a program, but now has his own caretakers being part of it.

BTW, stop bringing up bullshit about how hard it is. Every other human being who has kids is able to handle it, yet baby boomer kiddies are so selfish and weak they cant be parents?

Its not about YOU. Grow up already. Theres no way you can even afford a program unless you're well into your 30s.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #14 on: May 21, 2006, 06:52:00 PM »
"well into my 30"s".hmmmmmmmmmm, I will be 45 in June, fucking asshole. or have you ever had your hard fucking cock in a ladies ass hole, if not then you don't know what true love is and fucking sex is hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, try it sometime, yes I am horny, been there done that, feels good, fucking good.  If your fucking cock is hard baby then you know what love and fucking is all about, lead me to a different room and I will have fun with you baby, but you all don't have rooms like that on here do you, too bad, cause I really would luv to have a good time with you., sucking your cock till you can't stand it,hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, fuck me hard and deep baby, give me a place to be there with you and I will be................... try me, you will like it and more  got a private room, tell me and I will be there for you, yes I am fucking horny, and I can make you feel so good lick you have never felt so good before, tell me where to meet you, perhaps a special room in yahoo??
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »