I read and post at an attachment parenting forum. In a nutshell, attachment parenting is basically: "a philosophy based in the practice of nurturing parenting practices that create strong emotional bonds, also known as secure attachment, between the infant and parent(s). This style of parenting encourages responsiveness to the infant or child's emotional needs, and develops trust that their emotional needs will be met. As a result, this strong attachment helps the child develop secure, empathic, peaceful, and enduring relationships."
I have noticed lately that many of the people who subscribe to this type of parenting are totally hypocritical when their children become teenagers. For example, this lady yesterday posted this story about her 15yo daughter who had a physical fight with the dad. They called the cops on her. The cops said if they didn't pick her up in 24 hours, she would be placed in foster care. So they told the cops to keep her. She casually mentioned that the daughter blames the parents for the older sister committing suicide. Then she mentions that she's looking into a "tough-love" camp to put her in. She said she wanted advice.
All these people replied with "Oh you poor thing" and the like. When I replied, I pointed out the hypocrisy of being a member of an attachment parenting board and posting about tough love options. I pointed out that the daughter is likely acting out because of trauma from her sister's death, and maybe they should get her into therapy, etc.
The lady totally lashed out at me, saying that she doesn't need any extra guilt. I wasn't disrespectful at all, but she told me to stop responding to her posts. She said that the daughter is totally disrupting the family. They have a bunch of younger kids that they need to worry about.
It seemed totally obvious to me that she wanted to get rid of the daughter and wanted other parents to coddle her over her decision. Basically, this woman had made up her mind before she asked for advice. She wanted to get the okay from her peers. And, for the most part, she got it.
I tend to think that most of the parents who send their kids to WWASPS or similar programs have the same attitude, the same excuses. That's why they're so easily sold on the programs. They are looking for someone to say, "Hey, it's not your fault." And they get that from the people selling the program. They want someone to tell them that what they are doing is the most loving thing they could do. So they welcome these reassurances from staff and program parents.
So yes, I think parents are to blame.
BUT, I think it is counter-productive to waste too much time on it. If you want to convince parents that WWASPS, et al. is bad, and you know the parents want to be coddled, then try to market them the way WWASPS does: "Oh you poor parents, duped by the big bad corporation." It's a means to an end, really.
