I have read earlier more paranoid posts about a psychic or some kind of political washing that is still being used or tests done on ex Straightlings. Although I think most of these stories or thoughts are more like fantasy mixed with truths, I think there are some small facts about these thoughts. Someone posted early on about feeling that they were more than just connected to former clients they seved time with in Straight.
Although I do not actually believe that the government is still running experiments on former clients, there is a grain of truth inside this mixed line of thought.
I think that it is easy to see the very deep connection (and possible hatred) to all of those you were in with, and even those you weren't. I dont' really like speaking to anyone from Straight Inc. at all, even though I may need to now and again for document or similar purposes, thing to connect timelines and such. Torture and trauma that happened next to a person that the same exact thing was done to, yeah that might cause a serious natural bond. Does it go beyond a bond of sorts? Probably.
I have some thoughts or theories on connectivity. I mean, we all know that if you hang around with criminals you are more likely to commit crime. Much the same as if you hang out with 'good' people you are more likely to do good things in general or more. It's true. But I think it goes beyond that in that we are directly effected by those things around us still even now. We are still nurtured or hindered by those around us. If someone around us, especially survivors of trauma, we are likely to feel what they are going through. In fact, we are likely to 'be' in some way what they are going through. If someone is fat and you hang around them long enough, and everyone is this way in my opinion, you might feel a bit of a strange feeling in your gut where the other person is fat. If you hang around old people, you might be a bit more lethargic than normal. Also, people, everyone, wants you to be like them if they have any intention.
Of course, Straightlings are looking for a way to be. We were denied our cult, we have been denied our 'way to be' for decades now. We ran up criminal records, destroyed relationships, destroyed ourselves, snapped, spent, died, killed, and did things we were taught and learned to do and then shoved out into the street and told who we were was wrong. How sad is that.
So I think my theory of connectivity holds weight. It's already proven though in the sciences.
But most things I just can't believe anymore. When I heard that Anderson got murdered in that boot camp I thought it was a joke or another of the government's slight of hand tricks to make everyone look there while something was going on somewhere else.
But I think Straight's little bubble world it created for all it's chilluns caused that in me, too. I don't blame, but I see that I became a person who didn't believe a fucking word you spoke. I didn't care what you said, you were wrong and my only, only, only job was to tell you so and pick apart everything you just said. Also, it was my job to tell you that you were wrong about other shit not involved in what you just said; especially issues involving slippery slope fallacies ("if you're saying that now you will go out of Straight and kill yourself in a few weeks", "if you were out on the street like you are now, the way this group hates your bullshit, your friends would disown you and then your family"). When I heard that a new book was out on boot camps, I thought it was a lie to joke on poor folks like me. I don't believe alot of any issues that go on around here or that I hear or read. I just wait for logic to kick in like it does then the hype is over and I'm too late to say anything on the prior moment and something new has come up.
So, I guess maybe I get just as paranoid like everyone else. But sometimes I find the truth inside the mixture of fantasy, which that is exactly what Straight was: a horrible nightmare fantasy with half truths used against us, and some truth.
