Author Topic: Mourning a passing...  (Read 2735 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Mourning a passing...
« on: March 25, 2006, 06:06:00 PM »
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge)

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a class mate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims, while some victims and law enforcement lied to make criminals out of innocent people to further their own agendas.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Mourning a passing...
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2006, 01:29:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-03-25 15:06:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.

Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.



He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge)



His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a class mate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.



Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.



Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims, while some victims and law enforcement lied to make criminals out of innocent people to further their own agendas.



Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement.



Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.



Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing

"


WRONG Asshole.
The McDonalds coffee was VERY FUCKING HOT,too hot to offer to a person driving a car.
McDonalds coffee was FAMOUS for being REALLY REALLY FUCKING HOT,more hot than any person makes in the home.
After being famous for selling coffee,McDonalds decided to offer food for sale in the "drive up" window.
McDonalds decided to offer molten coffee through their window,to be consumed in a car.
Spilling hot coffe in your lap should not cause too much physical damage,but that lady was given REALL REALLY FUCKING HOT COFFE that burned her very seriously.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Dr Fucktard

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Mourning a passing...
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2006, 01:36:00 AM »
Thank you for clarifying that- the op ought to be ashamed! In fact, they should go and burn themselves with some hot coffee right now to repent for their post!  :lol:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Mourning a passing...
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2006, 01:52:00 AM »
And didn't that person just sue for medical costs, but McD's refused, and in turn was awarded a huge financial settlement in court? McDonalds kills, just ask bill clinton.  :lol:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Mourning a passing...
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2006, 01:53:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-03-25 22:36:00, Dr Fucktard wrote:

"Thank you for clarifying that- the op ought to be ashamed! In fact, they should go and burn themselves with some hot coffee right now to repent for their post!  :lol: "


"Hot" coffee not enough.
How about some REALLY REALLY FUCKING HOT MCDONALDS coffee?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Dr Fucktard

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Mourning a passing...
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2006, 01:55:00 AM »
Sorry druggie, I meant to say "piping hot" coffee.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Mourning a passing...
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2006, 02:24:00 AM »
Someone please clarify the temperature amounts and/or the differences between these temperature measurements: a. piping hot coffee, b. REALLY REALLY FUCKING HOT coffee, c. VERY FUCKING HOT coffee, d. steaming cup of coffee was hot, e. hot coffee, f. molten hot coffee.

If the coffee was molten hot, how did the server get the coffee out of its dispenser which would have been melted as well as the rest of the items near the coffee maker attempting to make molten coffee and into the womans' car? Furthermore, I would like to know the name of the Coffeemaker Dispensor creator who has made it possible to contain said molten coffee, I will buy one as I have some people I would like to burn quickly and covertly. Lastly, does McDonald's also purchase quantities of molten coffee holder cups? That's some serious fucking styrofoam.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Dr Fucktard

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Mourning a passing...
« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2006, 08:30:00 AM »
Good questions; we'll get right on it!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Mourning a passing...
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2006, 08:26:00 PM »
whoosh -  the sound of the real MEANING zipping right over these posters (repliers) heads.  Hot coffee debate is all you get out of that post?  Why am I surprised?!  This IS the Fornuts board.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Mourning a passing...
« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2006, 08:28:00 PM »
Ahem..  :roll:
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Offline Anonymous

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Mourning a passing...
« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2006, 08:34:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-03-26 17:26:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

  whoosh -  the sound of the real MEANING zipping right over these posters (repliers) heads.  Hot coffee debate is all you get out of that post?  Why am I surprised?!  This IS the Fornuts board."

Well?

Aren't you gonna tell us poor dummies what your brilliant allegory was all about? We're on the edges of our seats here..  :grin:
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Offline Anonymous

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Mourning a passing...
« Reply #11 on: March 26, 2006, 08:36:00 PM »
ps- I hate the way the quote thing puts all of that whitespace in there sometimes.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Helena Handbasket

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Mourning a passing...
« Reply #12 on: March 27, 2006, 01:06:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-03-26 17:34:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

On 2006-03-26 17:26:00, Anonymous wrote:


"


  whoosh -  the sound of the real MEANING zipping right over these posters (repliers) heads.  Hot coffee debate is all you get out of that post?  Why am I surprised?!  This IS the Fornuts board."


Well?



Aren't you gonna tell us poor dummies what your brilliant allegory was all about? We're on the edges of our seats here..  :grin: "


AND.... the winner of "Most likely to never get a clue" goes to....

UH OH!  We have a problem!  This is a common problem, seen in years gone by, where we have two contestants named  "Anonymous" vying for the title.  

No worries though, we'll have the decision, right after this message from Rich, Chocolately OVALTINE!

Fear believes--courage doubts. Fear falls up the earth and prays--- courage stands erect and thinks. Fear is barbarism---courage is civilization. Fear believes in witchcraft, devils and ghosts. Fear is religion, courage is science.
--Robert G. Ingersoll, American politician and lecturer

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
uly 21, 2003 - September 17, 2006

Offline Anonymous

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Mourning a passing...
« Reply #13 on: March 27, 2006, 10:49:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-03-26 22:06:00, Helena Handbasket wrote:

"
Quote

On 2006-03-26 17:34:00, Anonymous wrote:


"
Quote


On 2006-03-26 17:26:00, Anonymous wrote:



"



  whoosh -  the sound of the real MEANING zipping right over these posters (repliers) heads.  Hot coffee debate is all you get out of that post?  Why am I surprised?!  This IS the Fornuts board."




Well?





Aren't you gonna tell us poor dummies what your brilliant allegory was all about? We're on the edges of our seats here..  :grin: "




AND.... the winner of "Most likely to never get a clue" goes to....



UH OH!  We have a problem!  This is a common problem, seen in years gone by, where we have two contestants named  "Anonymous" vying for the title.  



No worries though, we'll have the decision, right after this message from Rich, Chocolately OVALTINE!

Fear believes--courage doubts. Fear falls up the earth and prays--- courage stands erect and thinks. Fear is barbarism---courage is civilization. Fear believes in witchcraft, devils and ghosts. Fear is religion, courage is science.
--Robert G. Ingersoll, American politician and lecturer


"

  And Handbasket thinks she's amusing? Paahhleezz
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Helena Handbasket

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Mourning a passing...
« Reply #14 on: March 27, 2006, 11:39:00 PM »
Quote
And Handbasket thinks she's amusing? Paahhleezz"


So get a refund at the box office.  But, please tip your waiters and waitresses.

Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for every noble enterprise.
--James Madison, U.S. President

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
uly 21, 2003 - September 17, 2006