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Author Topic: Reporter still needs new material  (Read 2993 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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« on: January 29, 2006, 12:26:00 PM »
Besides his usual... Artie is a drunk,cindy is this ,this one is that.Jonny stepped on my toe,so and so did this... You have quite a fantasy world you live in. MArtial arts,houses,cars. Wow If I could just be you. You dont even lie well.Still waiting on you to arrive. You threaten,you call people names... booo fukin hooo. My mommy sent me to Elan. Boo hoo.. artie has a better life than me.Boo hoo... noone likes me !! boo hoo.. I have to tell lies and call people names because i  am 8.
Like I or anyone else cares about what you do or dont do,have or dont have,say or what you dont.
Who do you think your kiddin...
Go fuck yourself,oh and all your friends at your special site. That woudl be the"retard:" site.Along with any thread you particpate in.
I am done today with you. Have a committment to a bunch of dogs and cats... See ya jackoff
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2006, 12:58:00 PM »
Artie, sign in so we know its not some idiot pretending to be you please..
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Offline Troll Control

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« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2006, 01:51:00 PM »
Maybe he could do a few pieces about Arties drunken, no-life-having mom or something.  Just to mix it up.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2006, 01:59:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-01-29 10:51:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Maybe he could do a few pieces about Arties drunken, no-life-having mom or something.  Just to mix it up."
zz z zzzzzz zzzz z zzz zz
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Offline Troll Control

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« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2006, 02:01:00 PM »
Posted: 2005-08-27 11:11:00  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Yeah, Artie's first day in the joint is going to go something like this:

After being shaved and de-liced, he'll be walked naked down the tier carrying just his bedroll and a jumpsuit. While he's moving toward his new cell, other inmates will be spitting on him, throwing toilet paper, cat-calling, fighting over dibs on who gets to fuck him first and shouting "New Fish! New Fish in the house!" all the while wagering on "how long he'll last."

When he finally gets to his cell and is grateful for having been escorted by a pair of CO's to relative safety, he'll be "befriended" by the guy in the cell next to him who will give him a smoke and two packs of kool-aid, one red, one purple.

While Artie smokes that cigarette, he'll be wondering "Why did this guy give me the kool-aid?" thinking, "That was awfully nice, he didn't have to do that."

Later on that night, when the general population gets released to go to chow, Artie will be told by his "new friend" to come into his cell and "Bring the kool-aid."

Artie will go into the cell thinking "I bet this is against regulations, going into someone else's cell, but I guess we're just going to make some kool-aid, have a drink and get to know one another." He'll be feeling a bit uneasy, but he'll think to himself "If we're going to be neighbors for the next 25 years, I might as well be friendly and get to know this fella."

When he gets into the "neighbor's" cell, he'll be somewhat shocked to find four men, all bearing tattoos of the Aryan Nation, glaring at him and licking their chops like he was a young, fresh girl performing her first show at the local strip club.

As the cell door slams shut behind him, he'll hear one of the men say "Let's have some fun, boys. We got fresh fish on the menu!"

Artie will then be ordered to put the red kool-aid powder on his lips and cheekbones and the purple on his eyelids, making him look like a fat, sweaty, nervous, shaved she-man.

After all of the men have had their "ride" on Artie, they'll "escort" him to chow, where they'll proceed to take his food, split it up amongst themselves and enjoy it. When they're done, the whole process of "going to chow" commences in reverse.

Enjoy yourself Artie, you sick, sick bastartd.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2006, 02:07:00 PM »
That is a fucking genious post, but too bad you can't come up with your OWN original product..
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2006, 02:07:00 PM »
Genius**
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2006, 02:16:00 PM »
Artie will then be ordered to put the red kool-aid powder on his lips and cheekbones and the purple on his eyelids, making him look like a fat, sweaty, nervous, shaved she-man
 
 
Sounds like you are wayy to familiar with this proceedure.Come on man,dont tell us about your ass fantasies too! Dont wanna know!
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Offline Troll Control

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« Reply #8 on: January 29, 2006, 02:40:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-01-29 11:07:00, Anonymous wrote:

"That is a fucking genious post, but too bad you can't come up with your OWN original product.."


I authored the original.  Just forgot to log in.  Sorry.

DJ
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Offline screann

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« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2006, 07:03:00 PM »
Quote

On 2006-01-29 11:01:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Posted: 2005-08-27 11:11:00  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Yeah, Artie's first day in the joint is going to go something like this:



After being shaved and de-liced, he'll be walked naked down the tier carrying just his bedroll and a jumpsuit. While he's moving toward his new cell, other inmates will be spitting on him, throwing toilet paper, cat-calling, fighting over dibs on who gets to fuck him first and shouting "New Fish! New Fish in the house!" all the while wagering on "how long he'll last."



When he finally gets to his cell and is grateful for having been escorted by a pair of CO's to relative safety, he'll be "befriended" by the guy in the cell next to him who will give him a smoke and two packs of kool-aid, one red, one purple.



While Artie smokes that cigarette, he'll be wondering "Why did this guy give me the kool-aid?" thinking, "That was awfully nice, he didn't have to do that."



Later on that night, when the general population gets released to go to chow, Artie will be told by his "new friend" to come into his cell and "Bring the kool-aid."



Artie will go into the cell thinking "I bet this is against regulations, going into someone else's cell, but I guess we're just going to make some kool-aid, have a drink and get to know one another." He'll be feeling a bit uneasy, but he'll think to himself "If we're going to be neighbors for the next 25 years, I might as well be friendly and get to know this fella."



When he gets into the "neighbor's" cell, he'll be somewhat shocked to find four men, all bearing tattoos of the Aryan Nation, glaring at him and licking their chops like he was a young, fresh girl performing her first show at the local strip club.



As the cell door slams shut behind him, he'll hear one of the men say "Let's have some fun, boys. We got fresh fish on the menu!"



Artie will then be ordered to put the red kool-aid powder on his lips and cheekbones and the purple on his eyelids, making him look like a fat, sweaty, nervous, shaved she-man.



After all of the men have had their "ride" on Artie, they'll "escort" him to chow, where they'll proceed to take his food, split it up amongst themselves and enjoy it. When they're done, the whole process of "going to chow" commences in reverse.



Enjoy yourself Artie, you sick, sick bastartd.

"
[/quot [ This Message was edited by: screann on 2006-01-29 16:05 ]
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Offline screann

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« Reply #10 on: January 29, 2006, 07:20:00 PM »
Why doesnt everyone fight nice.At least make up some new stuff.I mean come on guys lets hear some good Elan shit. ::rainbow::  ::rocker::
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2006, 07:30:00 PM »
Right the fuck on Diane! :tup:
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Offline The Elan Reporter

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« Reply #12 on: January 30, 2006, 07:37:00 AM »
Not bad Dysfunction, not bad at all.But I think the story needs to be lifen up more with familar characters, perhaps Marty  and Jimmy could play the role of additional inmates.
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fArt Warshitsky sucks dicks!!!

Offline The Elan Reporter

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« Reply #13 on: January 30, 2006, 07:39:00 AM »
Oh and Sorry Artman, but I almost forgot all about you.I knew you would could to my new site, curiousity always gets the best of you my friend.I decided if you ever want to register there, I would assign you a special rank as shotdown.

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I'm back!!!!!!!!!!![ This Message was edited by: The Elan Reporter on 2006-01-30 04:39 ]
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fArt Warshitsky sucks dicks!!!

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #14 on: January 30, 2006, 08:49:00 AM »
your so special to have that site of your own with all of your 3 anon screen names......and noone else
Whoda thunk it
loser
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