Matt Hoffman

[Anonymous]

This is Diane what years were you there? I was in 2a too . I remember those damm rocks. Sorry you had to go through that.

[Anonymous]

Diane

I was there I think a little b/4 you .July 1974 to July 1976. 2a opened up in 1975  .I was in poland springs first then went with 25 folks to waterford 2a.

I am glad someone remembers those rocks.I put them all around the drive way and the paths to the dorms.

Mainly I just moved them from one big pile to another while 2 p.o.s screamed at me for not moving fast enough, with instructions from kruglik (who also gave them a baseball bat) to "beat me to death on the spot if I even gave them a hint that I was going to split "

Due to sleep deprivation ,an amazingly abusive childhood and being in a situation that triggered alot of the trauma that I had suffered as a youngster ,and having witnessed untold abuse while I had been in elan ...I literally snapped and assaulted another resident with a knife. The kid got 5 stitches near his kidney and a few cuts on his arms ( he turned I think and tried to run)

elan and its henchmen told ne I did it because I was sick.

 The reason I did it was out of fear of what I thought elan was going to do to me (because of the crazy sick twisted lunacy that I had seen happen to other people  and been forced to participate in at the poland spring house) and I needed an excuse to run away. As bazarre as that sounds at the time elan fostered and encouraged you to be dependant on the program.

I guess you could say I did it as an act of self survival.  I was 16 and  4 months old when this happened . Lack of sleep will cause a person to to become temporarily psycotic.

to this day I am not happy about it and I am lucky that I was able to survive the lunacy that I had to endure for the next year and more that I was in that hell hole. That song by the Who .. behind blue eyes. elan made everybody hate me  cause I had almost shut their precious program down.

I am lucky to have survived in the world since leaving elan. I think though that the reason I have survived is because deep down inside I have always known that I am a good person regardless of what elan and its henchmen tried to impress upon me following that iuncident .the therapy I recieved from elan and its henchmen after that incident was sick ,twisted and absurd.

I don't hold any resentment towards the residents in the house at the time .They were just doing what they were told to do to me.

Set up like a bowling pin, knocked down gets to where its been, they just won't let you be.

Okay sorry to everyone (especially the kid I cut)for ramblin on about a time and place that I wish had never existed.

this is my post ,i got bumped off

Matt Hoffman





 [ This Message was edited by: Matt C. Hoffman on 2005-12-02 20:49 ]

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-02 19:34:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Diane



I was there I think a little b/4 you .July 1974 to July 1976. 2a opened up in 1975  .I was in poland springs first then went with 25 folks to waterford 2a.



I am glad someone remembers those rocks.I put them all around the drive way and the paths to the dorms.



Mainly I just moved them from one big pile to another while 2 p.o.s screamed at me for not moving fast enough, with instructions from kruglik (who also gave them a baseball bat) to "beat me to death on the spot if I even gave them a hint that I was going to split "



Due to sleep deprivation ,an amazingly abusive childhood and being in a situation that triggered alot of the trauma that I had suffered as a youngster ,and having witnessed untold abuse while I had been in elan ...I literally snapped and assaulted another resident with a knife. The kid got 5 stitches near his kidney and a few cuts on his arms ( he turned I think and tried to run)



elan and its henchmen told ne I did it because I was sick.



 The reason I did it was out of fear of what I thought elan was going to do to me (because of the crazy sick twisted lunacy that I had seen happen to other people  and been forced to participate in at the poland spring house) and I needed an excuse to run away. As bazarre as that sounds at the time elan fostered and encouraged you to be dependant on the program.



I guess you could say I did it as an act of self survival.  I was 16 and  4 months old when this happened . Lack of sleep will cause a person to to become temporarily psycotic.



to this day I am not happy about it and I am lucky that I was able to survive the lunacy that I had to endure for the next year and more that I was in that hell hole. That song by the Who .. behind blue eyes. elan made everybody hate me  cause I had almost shut their precious program down.



I am lucky to have survived in the world since leaving elan. I think though that the reason I have survived is because deep down inside I have always known that I am a good person regardless of what elan and its henchmen tried to impress upon me following that iuncident .the therapy I recieved from elan and its henchmen after that incident was sick ,twisted and absurd.



I don't hold any resentment towards the residents in the house at the time .They were just doing what they were told to do to me.



Set up like a bowling pin, knocked down gets to where it been, they just won't let you be.



Okay sorry to everyone (especially the kid I cut)for ramblin on about a time and place that I wish had never existed.



this is my post ,i got bumped off



Matt Hoffman











 "

Matt it sounds like we both went through the same trama. I had to clean dumpsters in the mid of Feb without a coat or hat.My socks were wet and ihad no shoes on top of it . My POs were told to hunt me down and kill me too if i ran. They really fucked with me because i came from E 4. They thouhgt i was some bad as or something. Towards the end of my stayin 2a before it was closed we wernt able to use our names.Dave Dyer some nut Elan found from the army gave us numbers to use insted of our names. I was #12. Sick huh. Being shot down was the worst never knowing when the Goons were gonna snach you up or if you were gonna be put in the ring. Elan used us to abuse us . Elan has done a great deal of damage to my life. To this day I can hear the sreams. Ive had many sleepless nights thinking of that place I offen wonder how can any parent send there child there and be able to sleep at night. Matt you seem like a nice guy im sorry you had to go through such hell. Were all damaged goods. I know you dont want to hear this but you did a great job with the Rocks. I would have knock those POs in the side of there damm heads with one of those rocks and ran as fast as my legs would take me.  Thanks for responing to me.Stay strong. :smile:  :smile:  :smile:  :smile:  :smile:  :smile:

[Matt C. Hoffman]

Numbers for names .

Whacked as the day is long

Diane thank you for the compliment about the rocks.

I believe you are the first person to do that, honestly it does mean alot. Thank you again.

Yuo are the second person that I know of who was threatened with the penalty of being beaten to death. That is so sick and twisted and 100percent against the law.

I actually thought that they would do it and could get away with it.

I personally believe that elan should be shutdown. kruglik, gottlieb ,mccann and zaretzky(the directors and director wanna be ) during my time should spend the rest of their natural lives in prison.

was dyer a director  or director wanna be or  staff ?

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-02 21:03:00, Matt C. Hoffman wrote:

"Numbers for names .



Whacked as the day is long



Diane thank you for the compliment about the rocks.



I believe you are the first person to do that, honestly it does mean alot. Thank you again.



Yuo are the second person that I know of who was threatened with the penalty of being beaten to death. That is so sick and twisted and 100percent against the law.



I actually thought that they would do it and could get away with it.



I personally believe that elan should be shutdown. kruglik, gottlieb ,mccann and zaretzky(the directors and director wanna be ) during my time should spend the rest of their natural lives in prison.



was dyer a director  or director wanna be or  staff ?



"

Im pretty sure he was a dir . He didnt stay long. After the night man thing 2a closed down and he was gone. But he was just as sick as the restof them. You see i was in 4 first then 2a then a family member called and they were kiddnapping me out of there so back to PARSONSFIELD i went, ididnt know what was going on or why i was going back to 4 but i only stayed about a month. Then back to 2a. After 2a closed it was off to Elan 6 were Alice Dunn was dir. She put me in the RING for having EYES for someone. I must have went about 4 rounds. I pretended to pass out just so it would stop. I couldnt walk for afew days and i uranaited blood for a week. I knew i had to do something before they KILLED me . I went AWOL in 81. I made it thank God. If they caught me i KNOW i would be DEAD now . Matt you seem to have your head together, i hope we can chat more. :smile:  :smile:  :smile:

[xres8182]

Ken Z once told me something to the effect of "Elan was a good place until the early eighty's" I always believed it was much worse in the mid to late 70's. Your stories verify some of the rumours I heard back then,and solidify those beliefs.

[Anonymous]

Well that shows you that kenny :

a) is incapable of telling the truth
b) really got off and enjoyed the sick shit that went down.
c) is not quite right in the head
D) all of the above

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-03 10:03:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Well that shows you that kenny :



a) is incapable of telling the truth

b) really got off and enjoyed the sick shit that went down.

c) is not quite right in the head

D) all of the above "

D :tup:

[Anonymous]

Ill take D for $700 Alex...

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-04 18:15:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Ill take D for $700 Alex..."

::rainbow::

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-03 07:41:00, xres8182 wrote:

"Ken Z once told me something to the effect of "Elan was a good place until the early eighty's" I always believed it was much worse in the mid to late 70's. Your stories verify some of the rumours I heard back then,and solidify those beliefs. "

Ken really wasent there when the REAL bad shit strarted. He left before all that.

[Anonymous]

Ken was there when it was SOFT .. Bottom line