Diane
I was there I think a little b/4 you .July 1974 to July 1976. 2a opened up in 1975 .I was in poland springs first then went with 25 folks to waterford 2a.
I am glad someone remembers those rocks.I put them all around the drive way and the paths to the dorms.
Mainly I just moved them from one big pile to another while 2 p.o.s screamed at me for not moving fast enough, with instructions from kruglik (who also gave them a baseball bat) to "beat me to death on the spot if I even gave them a hint that I was going to split "
Due to sleep deprivation ,an amazingly abusive childhood and being in a situation that triggered alot of the trauma that I had suffered as a youngster ,and having witnessed untold abuse while I had been in elan ...I literally snapped and assaulted another resident with a knife. The kid got 5 stitches near his kidney and a few cuts on his arms ( he turned I think and tried to run)
elan and its henchmen told ne I did it because I was sick.
The reason I did it was out of fear of what I thought elan was going to do to me (because of the crazy sick twisted lunacy that I had seen happen to other people and been forced to participate in at the poland spring house) and I needed an excuse to run away. As bazarre as that sounds at the time elan fostered and encouraged you to be dependant on the program.
I guess you could say I did it as an act of self survival. I was 16 and 4 months old when this happened . Lack of sleep will cause a person to to become temporarily psycotic.
to this day I am not happy about it and I am lucky that I was able to survive the lunacy that I had to endure for the next year and more that I was in that hell hole. That song by the Who .. behind blue eyes. elan made everybody hate me cause I had almost shut their precious program down.
I am lucky to have survived in the world since leaving elan. I think though that the reason I have survived is because deep down inside I have always known that I am a good person regardless of what elan and its henchmen tried to impress upon me following that iuncident .the therapy I recieved from elan and its henchmen after that incident was sick ,twisted and absurd.
I don't hold any resentment towards the residents in the house at the time .They were just doing what they were told to do to me.
Set up like a bowling pin, knocked down gets to where its been, they just won't let you be.
Okay sorry to everyone (especially the kid I cut)for ramblin on about a time and place that I wish had never existed.
this is my post ,i got bumped off
Matt Hoffman
[ This Message was edited by: Matt C. Hoffman on 2005-12-02 20:49 ]