Indeed, it does have everything to do with the parents. Hence the (more apropos) term "Troubled Parend Industry".
Most kids are not perfect little angels who always demonstrate sage-like wisdom and forethought. That's why we don't let them vote, hold public office or own real estate. But they do grow up. Girlfriends and boyfriends don't always go away. Sometimes they become wives, husbands or lifelong friends.
When a kid starts to really grow up,
nobody knows enough about them to take drastic steps like locking them down in a thought reform program. Not even the kid knows because they're in the process of re-inventing themselves as an adult. We all did it. When I was 17 and taking my leave of childhood, I can tell you it would have been a whole lot easier if I could have gotten support and practical advice from my parents instead of having to stick by my state appointed body guards for fear of their having me kidnapped again.
Can you see how that makes some sense?
You want to talk about a year from now? Ok, go on over to the Struggling Turkeys site and look over all of their advice about "detachment" and exit plans. Notice how those threads do not go on for weeks and months. Lon cuts them short when they get a little too "unsuportive" and demonstrate an unwillingness to "trust the process" on the part of the parent who, after spending all the money and having their kid held incommunicado for months may want to know what it all was for and how many others get the same result.
Hint! That's why there are so few regular users on Lon's site; he bans them when they quit towing the party line.
At the end of the day, most families who do complete the program wind up back in the very same situation with the added complication of the parents having taken a firm position against their kid unless they continue to swollow the noxious Program version of reality with a big smile.
The Program tears familys apart. This is not usually the parents' intention (except for those few freaks who make a career of it long past the time the grown kids lose their number and move to the other side of the continent) But it's almost always the
result.
So what's this detachment and exit plan stuff they're so fond of recomending
after they've got all your money? Well, it boils down to doing just what Program vets and this kid's friends have been advising all along; quit trying to strong arm the kid into adopting your conclusions about life, the universe and everything. Quit being so damned scared. Have a little real, honest to goodness faith in the kid to sort things out WITH the freely given help and support of honest to God
family and his
chosen friends. Quit listening to these creepy sanctimonious strangers who want to get paid to medal in your lives.
Trust me, they won't be there for you if things go badly. They won't even acknowledge that you ever were a part of their Utopia, unless you're good for their PR. All their self rightious diatribes about the evils of "non working" friends and lifestyle choices is nothing but
projection.
A celibate clergy is an especially good idea because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.
--Carl Sagan, American astronomer and author
