I'm sending my kid away for POT!

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-11 06:02:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Famjaztique- maybe you should go to strugglingteens and do a search on karenindallas, going back to when her son first went to a program.  Then maybe you can form an opinion. I wouldn't base it on the person here who is using that identity to impersonate her. My kid was in the same peer group as hers- so I know what I'm talking about. She and her husband did everything possible before sending their son to wilderness. He spent a year at wilderness/Carlbrook and is now a top student and athlete at a great prep school. Her daughter is a junior in college. I'm glad you have gotten some helpful information from this forum, but don't trust everything.  "

Karens back!  :lol:  :lol:  :lol: I'd recognize that writing anywhere. How ya doin' Karen??? You are fucking psycho, you know that? maybe bipolar with rapid cycling?  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[Anonymous]

KareninDallas has been posting on this board for a while. She came over here anonymously hurling insults every which way, until she was found out.  :lol: Now we hear from her every now and then, but usually after a long rant, she comes back the next morning to try and 'clean it up' by posting as anon. This happens every time, what is wrong with you Karen!! lol

[Anonymous]

So please, hear a parent out before you attack.  It is so hurtful.  I know my child is in pain.  I can see it.  And for those of you who are parents, surely you understand that whatever hurt your child feels, you feel 100 times.  

I understand what you're saying. But you should take into consideration the fact that many people here have been through these programs-- or have had loved ones put through this form of hell-- and they get angry and frustrated when they see another parent taking her first steps on that path.

No matter a parents' good intentions, and no matter how much the programs and program parents paint over it with statements like "sending a child to a program is an act of love", the fact is that sending a child away is an act of abandonment. And dismissing a child's complaints of abuse and mistreatment as manipulation and lies is betrayal. No matter how you spin it, those are truths that cannot be hidden from children.

[screann]

On 2005-12-11 00:24:00, famjaztique wrote:

"Screann and others -



Thank you for the kind words and the advice.  Most of it I have tried.  That is the kind of conversation that helps a parent who feels worried relax a little bit.  My son and I had a talk today and he did all the things I asked him to do to help make up for being out all night.  But then he turned around and did it again.  He sneaks out the minute I'm not looking.  



I don't know if it would make a difference if I tried not saying anything at all...maybe it would be such a break from convention that it would jog something.  The thing is, if he continues doing what he's doing, someone else is going to make the decision to send him somewhere.  I don't think anywhere away from home is the best place for a child.  Everyone should try to understand that I don't think it's possible that every parent who wants to send their kid to a behavior modification center is giving up.  I think they are intensely worried and hoping to keep their child out of harm's way and legal trouble.  I know that sounds crazy to some of you and I've heard all you've said.  I'm not saying at all this is what I'm doing with my own son, not now after I've visited this forum.  



I guess what I'm trying to say is that when parents do stumble in here, and they have bags under their eyes from sleepless nights, and they've heard from school officials and police and other parents, and even perfect strangers, that your child is headed down crack avenue and needs intervention NOW, and their hair is falling out, and they're on the verge of losing jobs and can't concentrate on them anyway...don't attack them!  Yes, some kids are messed up because their parents don't care or abuse them.  But some kids are just angry because they don't fit it, or can't learn the same, or they've been in trouble so they don't care anymore....who knows all the complex reasons why.  But once they're in that state, it's so very hard to reach them.  



So please, hear a parent out before you attack.  It is so hurtful.  I know my child is in pain.  I can see it.  And for those of you who are parents, surely you understand that whatever hurt your child feels, you feel 100 times.  When the doctor handles you your bundle of joy, he/she also hands you a bundle of worry and a bundle of guilt to go with it.  My heart is already breaking enough without people jumping to outrageous conclusions about my motivations.  



Take what you've learned and reach out to parents who come in here who are not total asses like Karen in Dallas (who ought to be held in restraints for the rest of her life and beaten by angry teenagers).



I know this forum is not really for parents.  But we end up here anyway.  "

Did yoy ever hear the old saying[ You can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink]? When my son was in his teens he did the same thing stayed out all night, ran with a rough kids.I would stay up for nights at a time wondering, worrieing is he ok. Well one night I did the same I went out all night too. I didnt tell him where I was going I wasnt even home to make dinner. I came home about 3 in the morning. You know what he said to me when I wakled in the door? Where were you? I was so worried, I couldnt even go to bed. And hears the good one, he said to me You could have called. I wanted to show him how it felt to worry and sit by the window all night waitting. It worked. After that night he started to call me if he was gonna be home late. My son is 23 now and he still lives at home ,he has a great job and hes the best big brother to his sister. Do you know to this day he still calls me if he gonna be late. Sometimes you have to give kids a dose of there own med to see whats really going on. You know what I did as well to try and keep him home a little more? I fix up my basement ,TV,Video games,exc. I made a safe haven for him and his friends so they wernt on the streets and night. That worked too. Also keep in mind I never married so I was alone to handle all this. There are ways to get through to your son you just have to put your self in his shoes. It helps too to get to know his friends even though you may dislike them . His friends are importent to him ,invte them to a movie, dinner . Change dosent happen over night, give it some time, Im sur everything wiil work out for you and your son. ::dove::

[Withdraw]

No, not making a threat.. Let the kid know the state can send him away to a place like this. My idea was to educate him on those possibilities, and the parent make an agreement w/ the kid to use a diffrent means than the state can. Such as counseling, volunteer opportunities for the kid (which they may see as work or just irritating), and some kind of DAY treatment programs w/i his community. But I feel if the kid doesn't realize what these places are the State can/will send him to, it may make a huge diffrence in HIS choices.

Come on guys... don't you realize by now I would personally stand in front of a car carting a child off to a RTC, or Straight like program. But facts are facts, and the mother even implied The STATE can do whatever they see fit, which is often a long term Behavior modification facility. I just wish my parents, school counselors would have educated me on what exactly that meant. I would have been alot more conscience of the choices I was making when i'd run away....

Edit to add...Man, I can't believe you thought I'd imply to threaten him with a long term behavior Mod facility! Don't you read how thourghly against it I am? But to shelter him from reality is abuse, because he will not have the ability to make INFORMED choices. The STATE will send children to places like that and the parent has no control at that point. So my idea would inform the kid and give him the knowledge to make an INFOMED choice about how far he allows his behavior to go. The worst part of finding myself in Straight was, I had no idea about these places! Knowing, would have made a huge impact on me. And knowing the STATE could take over if I got in enough trouble, woul dhave made a huge impact. Sure I heard stuff about kids getting sent places, but I had NO IDEA what that meant. Teach the kids what that means and at some point the parent may not even have control over it. I am probably one of the most against any long-term facility. I was severely abused in one for far too long ![ This Message was edited by: Withdraw on 2005-12-11 10:26 ]

[Troll Control]

On 2005-12-11 06:02:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Famjaztique- maybe you should go to strugglingteens and do a search on karenindallas, going back to when her son first went to a program.  Then maybe you can form an opinion. I wouldn't base it on the person here who is using that identity to impersonate her. My kid was in the same peer group as hers- so I know what I'm talking about. She and her husband did everything possible before sending their son to wilderness. He spent a year at wilderness/Carlbrook and is now a top student and athlete at a great prep school. Her daughter is a junior in college. I'm glad you have gotten some helpful information from this forum, but don't trust everything.  "

This is Full-of-Shit Ben's Dad, Karen's best buddy and staunch defender.  He's equally as moronic though.  I can see where you'd get confused. :wave:

[Anotherscaredmom]

Even his friends have tried talking to him.

[Anonymous]

If everyone close to him can't convince him it's time to change, a program certainly would not either. He needs to make that decision himself. 2 cents.

[Anonymous]

Smoke a joint and RELAX man...Everythings gonna be alright... :smokin:

[Anotherscaredmom]

Yes, thank you.  Sage advice.  I'll do just that.  My son is now confirmed missing and was last seen with two brothers who had stolen a car and intend to head to Florida.  So, I'll just sit back and relax and know that my decision to not intervene to keep my son safe was the right decision.  Thank you and good night!

[Anonymous]

Guess he doesn't fully understand the consquence. Anyhow, I hope he is safe.

[screann]

Im so sorry to hear that. I hope hes ok.Try and stay strong. ::dove::