SEVEN
I have left misspellings and puctuation exact.
Looking at the public relations packet from 1988 for the SUWS Wilderness school you would think they didn?t put much time into it. There were a few misspellings and some improper grammar. The message, however, is clear. Your kid will get worse if you don?t send him here:
"One of the more troubling concerns we observe is that one or both parents in many families strongly deny that a real problem exists; that its not serious enough;; ?my husband wants to wait awhile to see if he or she will improbe? and on and on. All too many families call us 2-12 months later when the teen is now into much deeper touble or into crisis or involved with a court hearing, saying why didn?t we act earlier?"
Parents are further advised that:
"...you as parents must make some changes in your parenting approach (obviously the old way hasn?t been effective to your satisfaction or you wouldn?t be searching for answers). It won?t be easy?We require committedadults to participate in the program. We require the commitmentof both parents to read, study, and discuss with your spouse, implement and consistently follow through on the principles of a eight-page how to do it parenting book. We will mail it to you?"
"Let me illustrate how succesful this program will be for your family by relating a breif story."
A certain pet owner has just purchased a young dog that has much potential to become a quality hunting dog. The owner searches out and locates a dog trainer with a top reputation. (SUWS presumably) He contracts to have the dog tained over a period of time. After many weeks the trainer calls and says your dog has completed his formal training.l The trainer gives you the necessary orientation, the commands, etc., and says as you leave, ?Be clear in your commands, be consistent and follow through. Above all, demonstrate your love and caring for the dog and you will be pleased with the dog?s performance for years to come. ?
"Now the question. If the owner is inconsistent, uses different commands (mixed signals), or pretty much ignores the dog, what kind of a huntind dog will he have in a month or a year? He will probably have wasted the money and just have a common mutt."
Then there was some reminders?I swear to god these are real quotes.
"Youth are not permitted to call home upon arrival in Boise?Mother Nature is the authority figureand brings effective and timely consequences should the youth?s actions or inactions not be appropriate?"
"Your child will be under 24hr supervision."
"Mothers remember, you are doing this for your child, not to them?"
"You will generally get a different kid back that you sent out."
"We also strongly urge you to arrange to drive back from trail?s end with your son or daughter because of that special intimate time together on the drive home. (Oneparnet said ? we really couldn?t afford to go to trail?s end but finally decided to go. Looking back, had I know then what I know now, I would have driven to the East Coast for trail?s end in order to share that experience with our daughter.)"
"If you are going to be at trail send, tell them to in your letter that you can?t wait to greet them in a couple of days, along with some other ?mushy? stuff. (The letter will be given to the student during solo period.)"
EIGHT
Now I was quite disturbed that I wasn?t going home and that I had been lied to again. I had returned with the sheriff to Idaho from the Spokane, Washington airport. I had stayed in the foster home thingies on a promise and now I felt that no persons' word was worth salt. Again, I was feeling like no person was seeing this from my rational perspective: I would be good. No more of this side of the country, PLEASE. But now I was introduced to the "field counselor. As cargo I had reached the destination for which he had been sent. I was now in the custody of two twenty-somethings that were scraggly and sturdy looking at the same time. These were to be the guides of the survival expedition. The guide was dressed in a tight blue and red shirt?it reminded me of Underoos brand underpants, underhosen that resembled costumes worn by super heroes. His assistant field guide was dressed a bit more ruggedly, in beige cargo pants with a camouflage sweater. They both had an air that they had just stepped off of an unbeaten trail. XXXX already had a little swath of blonde facial hair forming and I was reminded that I still had no use for shaving?
We stood around the airport hangar waiting for the rest of the kids: REDACTED When the first of these others arrived The cop discreetly said goodbye to me giving me the distict impression that he had no idea what was indeed in store for me. AILBOI, the kids who we were greeting were clearly older than me and one showed up in handcuffs. That scared me a lot. It?s one thing to hear about being handcuffed by kids who say a lot of shit, but it was another entirely to be sitting next to this giant, stinky kid, with rattling handcuffs as we bounded down the road in a cheap van. I?m getting ahead of myself though.
The drive to Bray Lake was quiet. Bray lake wasn?t a lake that I saw. Starting about an hour before we piled out of the shitty van it got about as dry and boring as a square of matzo. There was nothing except these little bonzai looking bushes. I know a LOT about sage now, but then?and there was rolled up wheels of brush rolling by.
So, we got out of the shitty van and were outfitted with all that we would need. This meant stripping. Ok. I guess I won?t be able to take these cigarettes with me. We each had the same clothes, same colored toothbrush and same pair of socks. The only thing differentiating us was our shoes and our hair. We were instructed on how to make a bedroll and told the situation. There had been attempts at runaways, and they had all ended in either death for the student or had ended in capture. They had the disposal of several all terrain vehicles and proudly bragged that they would have access, since the death presumably, of a helicopter should topical location be a problem. Lastly, we were warned that should one ever refuse to do anything the whole of the group would be punished. I was specifically warned not to curse and not to try to run away. It seemed to me right away that the field guide had me in his sites. He targeted me completely the first few days. It was a loathesome practice that endured until I was moved to a different group for completion of the SUWS program. I have included my entire journal entries. They were often written under extreme duress and I tried to capture that in my transcription. I now quote from the personal journal of...REDACTED in total.
