spontaneously improvised language arts

[starry-eyed pirate]

Perhaps this has been discussed here before but, remember all the hand signals and strange vocalizations that developed like sorta jus' spontaneously between all the newcomers in group ??  Of course we weren't supposed to talk to each other at all or even look at each other unless one person was talkin' in group.  But some natural inclinations are jus' too strong even for str8 to stop.  it's pretty amazin' how we all communicated with one another anyway despite the rules against cliquin'.  i mean i remember havin' veritable conversations with other newcomers somewhere down the row by way of jus' hand signals and gestures sometimes accompanied by ape-like or rather human-like vocalizations. What a weird cult.

[Nonconformistlaw]

I would not communicate with anyone in group with eye contact or hand signals. I was too damn scared of getting caught. I was in a constant state of fear while in Straight. I remember getting really paranoid about being confronted if I accidentally made eye contact with anyone, especially if it was a guy. Then I would really crucify myself if I caught myself deliberately checking out a guy.

But I like hearing about how other's found ways to break the rules so subtly because I didnt have the nerve to do it. But its also a sad statement about how fucked up Straight's environment was, that people had to be so sly about simply human interaction.

[Woof-a-Doof]

Eye contact, facial expressions and yeah I remember the rather primal grunting. For me the best time for getting the scoop was during the "morning drop offs".

I personnally enjoyed watching my second oldcomers,L&L Cantrel (brothers). I was in that home for a long time. The cool thing about that family is that they made "us" feeel at home as much as possible. In time, the brothers would discuss other guys on thier 4th phases and girls to...you know.

Watching the days/weeks/months role by, knowing what was said in group, was not the way it was for many of us outside of group. I think back then it was called being "two faced" or something to that affect. Some how I felt more armed (if that is the right word) knowing this "inside info".

I also was terrified of being stood up, for any reason. Getting caught "checking the girls"
was just one of the reasons to be fearfull. Think...a 14-15 year old male not allowing himself to look at a female unless she was speaking. But of course I did, simultaniously shredding myself with guilt and enjoying (if thats the right word) what I saw.

I think the  most terrified I ever experienced was a period I call the "christmas come-downs". Other people with better memories refer to it as something else. It was a week of conspiriaces (sp) confronted and unraveled. Everyday was more frightening than the next. The fear of being stood up was shared by everyone. While people were hollering at someone, they themselves found themselves as the target of the staff. As if fresh news was delivered to the announcer a "runner" came to the staff with a piece of paper and then a new spotlight of shame was shed on yet another person.

Finally I was stood up, I don't recall why, but all my fears became manifest for an excruciating hour...it was horrible. I am not sure, perhaps someone else came refresh my memory, I believe I was placed on a "refresher".

One person I was close to he and I had an unspoken lanquage developed while the group shouted "we love you ____". I had a new comer that eventually made staff who loved to talk and while he talked he lovwered his voice gradually untill just his lips moved.

Pizza has arrived..............

[ This Message was edited by: Woof-a-Doof on 2005-10-14 15:56 ]

[Anonymous]

On 2005-10-14 12:08:00, starry-eyed pirate wrote:

"Perhaps this has been discussed here before but, remember all the hand signals and strange vocalizations that developed like sorta jus' spontaneously between all the newcomers in group ??  Of course we weren't supposed to talk to each other at all or even look at each other unless one person was talkin' in group.  But some natural inclinations are jus' too strong even for str8 to stop.  it's pretty amazin' how we all communicated with one another anyway despite the rules against cliquin'.  i mean i remember havin' veritable conversations with other newcomers somewhere down the row by way of jus' hand signals and gestures sometimes accompanied by ape-like or rather human-like vocalizations. What a weird cult.



 "

I'm curious, what did people say to each other? Did they plan escapes? Did they give their opinion of the staff in the room?

[starry-eyed pirate]

:grin:

[Withdraw]

[ This Message was edited by: Withdraw on 2006-02-28 21:47 ]

[Anonymous]

No I don't recall anyone talking in secret at all...they surely would have been reported asap.

Of course there was the acceptable hand gestures like in the bathroom for wrap it up and the one for get out of your head.

[starry-eyed pirate]

Huh. i'm surprised.  i thought more people would know what i was talkin' about.  There was a whole range of hand signals and gestures and vocalizations 'n' such.  let me see if i can remember a few.  ...well like the signal for "apply it to yourself" which was the index finger pointin' to your own forehead.(too bad we don' have an emotocon to represent that.)  Or the "o.k." hand signal accompanied by the sound "pooo" which meant "right on", or the signal for bein' in left field which was a two handed gesture of someone swingin' a bat and makin' a clickin' sound, like someone jus' hit a ball into left field and meant you were clueless.  i think there were others too but these are the ones i remember 20 years later.

These signals were used to communicate in group with the person talkin' as a means of either showin' support or disapproval or were also used for one on one communication between phasers in group.

[Anonymous]

But was all that between first phasers? Yeah we could use hand gestures for stuff if you were at least on 2nd phase, but not for two 1st phasers.

[Nonconformistlaw]

Oh ok, now I know what you mean. I thought you meant how newcomers communicated with each other in the group amongst themselves on the sly.

Yeah I remember the damn hand signals. I remember most of the ones already mentioned. There was also the signal to speak up when someone wasnt talking loud enough...waving the arm at the person talking. I got that one alot in the begininng since I was soft spoken.

[starry-eyed pirate]

On 2005-10-15 08:23:00, Anonymous wrote:

"But was all that between first phasers? Yeah we could use hand gestures for stuff if you were at least on 2nd phase, but not for two 1st phasers."

First phasers often exchanged hand signals and strange vocalizations.  these communications were only rudimentary generalizations, although there were times when the signalling was almost a conversation.  It was not a secret language on the sly or anything.

[Anonymous]

Ya see man, that place was perverted. You cannot shut people up that much, for months and years, and not have some extreme psychological casualties. I am not saying the signing was pathological, that's just how normal and right it is for people to be driven to communicate even with severe rules and restrictions.

For the people who never went to Straight who are reading this, there are no free conversations in such a totalitarian strictly controlled setting. You are forced into intimacy with strangers who control (yes just about every move) and criticize you when you go home at night too. At the building, all communication is controlled, watched, reported, and so on.

It takes a while to learn to talk again, without presuming everyone has a hidden agenda and you have to guess what it is.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of the whole silence in the bathroom discussion we've had before. I realized after reading that that I still feel like whenever I'm in a public restroom that it would be rude to speak out loud. Like you should respect the people peeing or something. I never even realized that I thought that.

[PerfectStraightling]

I remember after I ran away and went back into school, I couldn't remember how you were supposed to get called on if you had a question for the teacher. I could only think of motivating and I had to sit there and wait for someone else to raise their hand to see how they did it.

[Anonymous]

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline ... scent.html


This talks about how teens brains start growing in their early teens rapidly, then start pruning at around 13-20. So whatever we experience from say 11-20 are things that are going to stay with us for the rest of our lives. Maybe getting into straight after age 13 is better than just before, but it still seems to suggest that going through an intense experience like straight during that time will have life-long consequences.

Probably certain parts of our brains were kept active that really wouldn't have been needed in normal life. I suppose that could potentially make us smarter ??, or maybe make us more "neurotic" since maybe we will keep overanalyzing things?? These are just guesses.

I guess we just may need to try and use this overanalyzation of everything to our advantage in some way.