Foster mother remembers struggles
Posted: Sunday, Oct 09, 2005 - 10:43:17 pm PDT
By KEITH KINNAIRD
Hagadone News Network
Jeremy Hamberg took his life while in Bonner County Jail on parole violation
SANDPOINT -- Jeremy John Hamberg almost made it.
He survived an exceptionally brutal childhood and seemed to find his stride in foster care. Then came brushes with the law, jail and institutions, and finally, his suicide on Sept. 27.
"This is just the final act in a tragedy that began 20 years ago," said Julie Reinbold, Hamberg's former foster mother.
Hamberg, 20, hanged himself with a bedsheet while being held on a probation violation at the Bonner County Jail, bringing an abrupt end to a life of struggle and loss.
TROUBLED UPBRINGING
Hamberg's troubled life began on Jan. 13, 1985, in Kalispell, Mont., when he was born to Helen Powell and Rainey Farris. By his first birthday he was placed in foster care due to abuse. In a period of just six months, Hamberg had suffered several spiral fractures.
He spent about a year in foster care before being placed with John Hamberg, his mother's ex-husband and the father of his half-sister, Jennifer. John Hamberg ultimately adopted Jeremy.
John Hamberg and his wife, Cindy, later moved Diamond Lake, Wash., a small resort community west of Newport. It was here Jeremy Hamberg underwent years of horrifying abuse.
Reinbold said Jeremy was beaten, starved and tortured. He was so severely abused by his new parents that he suffered nerve damage in his wrist from being tied up for long periods of time.
'ON A ROLL'
The state of Idaho sheltered Jeremy when he came to visit a relative in Oldtown in 1996, and John Hamberg was ultimately imprisoned for abusing his adopted son. After things didn't work out with his first foster family in Idaho, he was placed in the care of Marv and Julie Reinbold.
Julie Reinbold said Jeremy, then 11, thrived in foster care. He was enrolled at Farmin Stidwell Elementary and found a mentor in teacher Cecil Hicks. He was also attending counseling to help him come to terms with his disastrous childhood.
"He was on a roll," she recalls.
But about a year into his stay with the Reinbolds, he was placed with the parents of Cindy Hamberg, who were caring for his half-sister and a step-sister, Lauralee. Jeremy lived with the couple in Polson, Mont., for three years, but returned to Idaho at age 15 because the couple said they could no longer care for him.
The Reinbolds welcomed Jeremy back into their home, where he resumed his efforts to make peace with his troubled past. He was enrolled in Sandpoint High School and went on to compete as a skier in the Special Olympics. Jeremy continued therapy and began developing his social skills.
"My goal was to prepare him for independence one day," Julie Reinbold said.
Still, problems would crop up from time to time. There were outbursts and disruptions at school, and Jeremy was arrested when a confrontation with a counselor turned physical.
Jeremy was placed on probation for that offense, which Reinbold said had a positive influence on him. He was diligent about abiding by the terms of his probation and succeeded in earning an early release from the program.
"That's when all hell broke loose," said Julie Reinbold.
Without the structure of probation, which helped underpin some of the rules in the Reinbold home, Jeremy -- now approaching the age of 18 -- shirked his responsibilities and became restless. He quit school and counseling.
A SOFT TOUCH
Despite enduring years of abuse and an attendant post-traumatic stress disorder, Jeremy had a tender heart. Reinbold said he was good at picking up on other people's emotional cues and ran through hobbies and fascinations in quick succession. Jeremy, however, was also impulsive and eager to please -- qualities which made him an easy mark for some of his peers.
Whether egged on by opportunistic associates or through his own poor judgment, Jeremy ran afoul of the law. He was arrested in 2004 for statutory rape and for bouncing checks, court records show.
After his death, Jeremy's transgressions were highlighted in an out-of-town newspaper article, which wound up on the Associated Press news wire. Julie Reinbold said the article unfairly portrayed Jeremy as a criminal.
"I wanted his name to be given some respect," she said. "He's dead and he can't defend himself."
Julie Reinbold said Jeremy was prone to taking his frustrations out on himself rather than somebody else. When somebody once gave him flack for the music he was listening to, he didn't lash out at the person. Jeremy took his compact disc out of the player and broke it in half, Reinbold remembers.
"He was never aggressive, but he would get so defensive you could perceive it as aggressive," she said.
A LIFETIME'S WORTH OF LOSS
Jeremy had not seen his biological mother since he was taken from her in 1986 and his biological father died years ago of complications stemming from alcohol abuse. Jeremy was in contact with his mother in his late teens and even visited her in Texas, where she worked as a long-haul trucker. A short time later, his mother died of an accidental cocaine overdose.
Jeremy's step-sister, Lauralee, died in a car crash in Montana two years ago, said Julie Reinbold.
RUNNING AWAY
Jeremy had a tendency to run away, especially when he felt threatened or frustrated. Julie Reinbold vividly recalls how Jeremy would make a break for his bedroom whenever things got to be too much for him.
After voluntarily leaving the custody of the Reinbolds, Jeremy floated around town, crashing with friends or at an apartment he sometimes kept at an assisted living facility in Sandpoint.
He also drifted to places in Virginia, Montana, California and Utah. His out-of-state travels did not go over well with court officials and he was arrested on a warrant this summer. Jeremy was released on Aug. 5, but his freedom would be short-lived.
On Sept. 23, probation officials happened to be at the assisted living facility where Jeremy lived and saw him bolt for his apartment. Suspicious, probation officers searched his place and discovered an adult video tape, which violated the terms of his release on the statutory rape charge, Reinbold said.
Jeremy was also drug-tested and he tested positive for marijuana use.
Reinbold suspects Jeremy felt guilty about having the X-rated tape and ran to his apartment to avoid getting in trouble.
Jeremy landed back in jail, but the Reinbolds didn't learn of this until the day he died. When they did find out Jeremy had been arrested, Julie Reinbold called probation officials and warned them he had suicidal tendencies and had tried to kill himself at the jail on previous occasions.
But within a matter of hours of the phone call, Jeremy was fashioning a noose in an isolation cell at the jail. He was not under suicide watch, although jail officials say they checked on Jeremy about every half-hour.
"They knew he had attempted suicide before," said Reinbold.
Reinbold said Jeremy left a suicide note, but she hasn't been apprised of its contents.
A FOND FAREWELL
Mourners filled the Lakeview Funeral Home for Jeremy's memorial service on Saturday, which Julie Reinbold said was a testament to his friendly nature.
"The church was full of people who loved J.J." she said. "He was not a bad person by any stretch of the imagination."
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