Need Information and help

[Desparate Dad]

I currently have a date to bring my son to Anchor in Mid October, having been referred by another boy's parents. After reading this forum today, I am having misgivings...I would like to hear some definite examples of good and bad from parents of students....anyone out there?

[Anonymous]

Do not believe the majority of what you read on this forum.  Go to http://www.strugglingteens.com and post a request for information on the program.  You will get responses from other parents.  Have you visited the program facility?
The posters on this forum are on a mission to discredit any and all programs.  You should carefully investigate the program you are considering and get more referrals than just one parent, but do not rely on THIS forum.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-10-06 08:59:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Do not believe the majority of what you read on this forum.  Go to http://www.strugglingteens.com and post a request for information on the program.  You will get responses from other parents.  Have you visited the program facility?

The posters on this forum are on a mission to discredit any and all programs.  You should carefully investigate the program you are considering and get more referrals than just one parent, but do not rely on THIS forum."

Strugglingteens.com is a site designed to convince parents that placing their child in a program-- even the most notoriously abusive ones-- is always the right thing to do. Some of the facilities that advertise on strugglingteens are known to be abusive, but they still let them advertise there anyway. The parents who post there are desperate to justify their bad choices (placing their child is unlicensed, often abusive program), and they try their best not to let the facts get in their way.

Now, to your questions about Anchor: you should read the warning signs list on the ISAC site (www.isaccorp.org). Make several unannouced visits to the facility *before* placing your child there. Call the authorities in Montana (social services, board of education) and ask about Anchor's status with the state-- have there been any complaints filed against them? Is their academic program accredited? Are they licensed as a treatment/educational facility?

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

desparate dad,
read things here in order to give you an idea of things to look out for.  but like the previous poster said, most people here are anti all programs, good, bad, and needed.  visit the facility.  ask questions.  the biggest concern for me was availability to my child.  i wanted to talk to my child whenever i wanted, even if that meant calling in the middle of the night.  i also wanted to know i could see my child whenever i wanted to.  i am sure if i took advantage of the openness of the school, then they may have requested that i limit my calls or visits, but being sensible yet still making random calls and visits, that never happened.  good luck

[Anonymous]

good advice about visisting isaac's sight. also, call the local newspapers in montana and the police station to see if there have been reports filed or written about that particular school.

[Anonymous]

Faith based schools are not the solution for straightening out wayward teens.

If you are intent upon teaching your son respect for God, Country and Family Values, may I suggest you do the job yourself?

Sending him away is a cop out.  An abdication of your duty and responsibility as a parent to LEAD by example.

What would Jesus do?  I don't know, but I seriously doubt he'd approve of forcing anyone to accept Christ behind the closed doors of a locked faith-based program.

As for the recommendation that you visit Struggling Teens, that's a great idea if you are looking for an excuse to institutionalize your child in a restrictive, custodial (and therefore potentially abusive) program.

 :roll:

[Desparate Dad]

I have read through a number of posts on this forum and heard allegations, but nothing from a parent of, or former student of, Anchor Academy.  I support strict adherence to rules and advocate corporal discipline, but dehumanizing is not what I believe in....Telling people they are worthles, trash, and no good doesn't help people.  My son needs structure and self-esteem as well as help with his issues with authority...

[Desparate Dad]

I have tried to teach him respect for others, God and honesty.  I have tried through counselors, friends (adult and other children) to guide him as you say, by example, and by living an honest, truthful life.  However, because of his choices in friends, activities (and perhaps my reluctance at an early age to discipline him wiht spankings) he ahs gotten out of control.  He has stolen eveything of value in our house, stolen from tohers in the neighborhood, has not embraced an alcohol, drug-free life, even after 3 inpatient facilities and 3 outpatient treatment programs, he needs more help than I can give.  Perhaps I am being more than a little sensitive, but I take your accusation that I am copping out as a personal affront on my abilities as a parent.  I have another young teen to take care of also, and she deserves to live in a household where she is not afraid to leave the house or come home from school, not knowing what she might find.  My son has a very good heart and his base personality is kind and loving...he is very selfish, has drug-induced sociopathic behaviors at times and manipulative....while at the same time, is very intelligent and aware of social wrongdoings (except his own).

[Anonymous]

Dad- are you speaking with an Educational Consultant? You might want to get a few other suggestions for a program for your son.  IT is not true that the strugglingteens site is only pro-program.  The parents who post there have tried every possible option at home before sending their teen to a program.  There are a range of issues discussed and the site's owner, Lon Woodbury, is an excellent and compassionte educational consultant.  
There are a range of programs available, and I am not personally in favor of the faith-based programs. I think you need to do more research, but this board is not the place to do it.  You will just be attacked for even considering a program.

[Anonymous]

Beware of StrugglingTeen.com website. I first went there asking for information about where to place my daughter. I received countless emails from other parents, all suggesting 'their' program. I found this strange and did some investigating. It turns out, 90% of the programs offered to me included a 'finders fee', suggesting financial motives for all the emails I received. I found this strange, and a bit alarming.

In my honest opinion, 'behavior modification' is not a legitimate therapy. My encounter into this industry has illuminated an entire subculture of greed and abuse. I am not willing to bet my daughters well being by placing her at a facility I can not visit daily. Out of state programs are out of the question. I asked myself, why are most of these programs in such remote states -- with very little regulation? Again, very alarming.

I am not in the position to offer advice of what to do, other than to be cautious of most programs. I chose to keep my daughter at home, and things have worked out fine.

-Formerly Desperate Mother

[Antigen]

Dad, go ahead and look at Lon's website and forums. But understand going in that it is, first and foremost, a marketing enterprise for Lon personally and for the industry in general. Lon absolutely, positively does not allow serious criticism or indepth discussion on his site.

If you look at it w/ a critical eye, you'll see what's really going on there. First, you rarely hear from the kids who supposedly benefit so much from these programs. It's all about the parents. Second, you'll see the newcomers like yourself asking for help and advice. You won't see any public answers, they only answer privately. If you ask, you'll get all kinds of very compelling promises of salvation. But if you look at the content posted by the older parents, most of them talk about how dismally their graduate "students" are failing, how hard it is to watch them fail and how much tension there exists in their family relationships these days. Then you won't hear from them at all because, if they speak too much of the truth, well then they get banned.

The bottom line is that this industry goes after desperate parents, makes unrealistic promises, charges exhorbinant fees for them and then blames the victim when the program doesn't "work".

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time w/ your son. I don't have an authoritative answer about what you should do to guarantee improvement. I'm just here to tell you that there are many out there who will take your money and, more importantly, your trust and dedication but who cannot deliver what they're promising because it doesn't exist.

The best advice I can give you is to think (for yourself!) about the adults who honestly and rightly won your respect and who's wisdom and guidance have best served you in your sojourn on this Earth. What would they do in your shoes?

It is criminal to steal a purse. It is daring to steal a fortune. It is a mark of greatness to steal a crown. The blame diminishes as the guilt increases

--Schiller (1759-1805)

_________________
Ginger Warbis ~ Antigen
Drug war POW
Seed Chicklett `71 - `80
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[Troll Control]

On 2005-10-06 08:47:00, Desparate Dad wrote:

"I currently have a date to bring my son to Anchor in Mid October, having been referred by another boy's parents. After reading this forum today, I am having misgivings...I would like to hear some definite examples of good and bad from parents of students....anyone out there?"

Dad, I am sorry for your unfortunate situation.  It sounds like you have a lot to deal with in your home.

Could you please give some more information?  How old is your child?  You said he was in inpatient and outpatient therapy.  What is his diagnosis?

Residential placement has been shown to be ineffective and often damaging.  Research by the Surgeon General's office shows that "warehousing" delinquent youth together in residential facilities often increases delinquent behavior and places "weaker" or smaller or younger children in situations where they may be abused by older, bigger children.  Longitudinal (7 year) studies show that 45% of these kids placed return to the same or similar facilities within one year, 75% return to their old behaviors almost immediately upon release and 35% end up incarcerated after the "program."

RTC's are almost never the right way to address a child's needs.

You seem like a smart, caring man.  Perhaps you should try to be more involved in community-based treatment for your son.  Sending your son to a remote location to be "fixed" by strangers is a dangerous proposition.

Anchor Academy has known affiliations with Roloff Ministries, an organization that has run several confirmedly abusive "programs."

As another poster suggested, check with ISAC and verify that none of the "red flags" of abuse are present at any facility you may consider.  Verify that any "school" you consider is fully accredited and authorized by the state IN WHICH IT RESIDES to issue academic credit and/or diplomas.

Be aware that StrugglingTeens is run by an Ed Con that formerly worked for one of the most abusive facilities (CEDU) that was actually sued and prosecuted out of existence for child abuse.  Their forums are populated by parents looking to get a referral fee or a tuition credit for their own child.  The parent-to-parent networking for profit there colors all judgement and reason :CAVEAT EMPTOR.

Do some research and check back with us when you get some direction.  Be sure to consult with the boy's therapist in regard to the appropriateness of RTC placement.

[Anonymous]

Desperate Dad,
How did you come in contact with this parent who recommended Anchor Academy to you? Ask this parent if he/she receives any monetary benefit if you sign your son up at Anchor Academy (like a free months tuition or anything like that).  That should be a red flag.

 Ask this parent if ALL FAMILY MEMBERS are allowed to communicatevisit with the "student," or if there are any exclusions "if a family member does not BELIEVE in the program."

Visit this school: then ask yourself--"Would I want to be here and follow these rules MYSELF." Ask yourself, "Would I respect MY parents if they sent ME here?"

From reading this school's webpage: It appears that forcing these boys to "become saved" is a priority. Do you personally believe in this type of "salvation" being forced on another human being? Some people just may not be open to "getting their heart right with God," whatever that means!

[Anonymous]

Dear Desperate Dad,

I admit my bias: I work for a program, and have for over seven years. But I do not work with Anchor Academy, and I have never been there. I have had the opportunity to visit extensively with Dennis and TC, who run it, and with some of their other staff. My impression is that they are kind, compassionate, and very knowledgeable. They seem to LIVE their faith, not just talk about it or try to push it on others. In addition, I have spoken to many others in their community, and have never heard anything but wonderful reports.

The best way to know is still to go there yourself. Ask questions. Talk with the other kids. Ask for names of other parents you can talk with, or names of graduates. I agree with previous posts on this site that any reputable program will welcome the scrutiny. I would be careful however, that your son doesn't get a message of fear from you. If you do place him in a program, make certain you are comfortable with it so that you can fully support their work, and your son will see how committed you are to helping him. And don't forget: if your faith is guiding you, pray about the program while you're there.

God Bless-- ::dove::

[Desparate Dad]

Thank you for your reply. I wonder if you can tell me which web page you read their philosophy.  I am not aware that the school even has a web page.....And as far as the referral parent goes, their son left the school the week after we spoke, so no tuition credit was given...I was amazed at the tuition of this school....and the availability of scholarships for those that can't afford it.  This school is not in it for the money, I can assure you.....The price is equivalent to most local non-resident private schools and far less than some.  I spoke with the local newspaper and there was nothing negative that they had to say with the exception of one charge of a staff member, immediately fired, innappropriately touching a student...