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Offline Anonymous

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I have a question...
« on: October 01, 2005, 08:15:00 PM »
Hey Everyone,
Its been a while ( A long time). A lot has happened I am now
separated from my wife trust me its a good thing LOL!My daughter and I
spend alot more time together and she is adjusting to this nicely...
Thank God!! Any way on to my question...

When I went into st8 Iknow fro a fact that I didn't have a full blown
addiction problem. Yes I experimented Blah Blah Blah... The problem
didnt really start till after I left there trust me it became huge. As
I stated here I really believe that st8 is and always will be a drug
addict factory.Convince brainwash whatever that they are druggies and
st8 will have a never ending supply of product. Sad but true. I have
been clean thru NA for the last 16 years. Has anyone been clean fro a
long time and started smokeing and drinking again with out the st8
induced horror stories? I ask because I would really just like to hang
out and act like everyone eles. I am so sick of this life style. On
the other hand I am really scared by relapsing. Please excuse the term
butt ... can anyone relate?

Thanks
May Flower Rich
st8 pow 82-83
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Offline starry-eyed pirate

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I have a question...
« Reply #1 on: October 02, 2005, 12:37:00 AM »
Totally Brother, AA sucks.  No-one wants to live like that.  Jus' Be cool 'n' you are cool...
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If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline starry-eyed pirate

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I have a question...
« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2005, 12:38:00 AM »
What's Up ??
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline Anonymous

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I have a question...
« Reply #3 on: October 02, 2005, 01:21:00 AM »
It sounds like you are just really scared of all the stories of that leading to jails, institutions, or death. The good news is, that's all a load. Especially if you haven't done anything in that long, seriously it sounds like it's time for you to graduate :wink:

That's how you really graduate AA, you realize you don't need to be there in spite of everything you hear.
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Offline Withdraw

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I have a question...
« Reply #4 on: October 02, 2005, 01:44:00 AM »
Soon after I was terminated/withdrawn,at 14yrs old .. I made the personal choice to go to AA for alot of reasons. I didn't fit in NA , because I just didnt have that much to talk about as far as drugs.. woopie my 3 times I smoked pot... So I choose to try AA. Remember I was 14 and fresh out of a 6.5 month first phase of sitting on my hands and being harshly restrained almost daily ..Brainwashed that all my old friends would kill me w/ DRUGS! So honestly I was afraid to hang out w/ people I knew from before Straight.. so I needed new friends ,so I went to AA.. all the time for years..I knew at 14, I couldn't make smart coices, Straight told me I was incapable..

I won't go into my thoughts on AA..Since it's highly controversial here, But I will say I believe it to be alot like Straight in the outside world. I had good times and bad.. was loved and abused by people from AA...so eh..w/e I knew the whole time I was going to meetings I wasn't an alcohlic , I just wanted someplace to hang out that my parents let me go, lol. So...

At age 20 or so, I also decided it was time to be like everyone around me, just plain normalish. I was married and my husband drank beer sometimes. One Bday party we had for him, I chose to have a few beers, after almost 7 yrs in AA and completely sober. It was ok, not extrordinary.I had no residual feelings at all. Severel months after occasional drinking seemed fine , I called my best friend from middle and HSchool  and asked if she'd smoke w/ me.. That was ok too. None of it has every been a problem or caused an issue in my life .So now I drink and smoke on  occasion (smoke more often than drink)

I'm in no way saying you should do it tho. I knew from the beginning it was never a problem for me. And as you stated in your post, Apparently at some point in your life it was a problem ? Or I misread that. So my situation may be very diffrent than yours. and in the end only you know what is true for you.

I will agree tho... from what I have seen, people don't have drug or alcohol problems, People have life problems... I was never powerless over anything but other people and redtape. But that's only my truth...
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Offline starry-eyed pirate

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I have a question...
« Reply #5 on: October 02, 2005, 01:51:00 AM »
Drugs are a tool.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #6 on: October 02, 2005, 06:22:00 PM »
Thanks a lot for your reply! Im still hesitant! Its really hard to let go of the programming. What was it like for you?

Rich
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Offline Withdraw

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« Reply #7 on: October 02, 2005, 06:26:00 PM »
Not sure how to explain it, it was just a natrual moving forward kind of thing. No huge thinking before hand or residual feelings after/during.. It just flowed natrually
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #8 on: October 02, 2005, 06:32:00 PM »
Did it ever get out of hand for you?
Rich
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Offline Withdraw

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I have a question...
« Reply #9 on: October 02, 2005, 07:09:00 PM »
No, I go  thru periods where I smoke more often.. but never out of hand like > effected my life horribly. but remember there was never a time in my life before or after straight when it was an issue..or a need..

Now I smoke because I like the awareness it allows me  of myself. It makes me think alot about how the world works and how I and all people effect their surrondings.. It makes me feel at peace w/ nature and the world around me , because I can see more clearly or something. In some ways it helps to ground and center my energy. It's also like it widens my bounderies of reailty allowing me to see/understand more than w/o.

Remember native people used these same substances for awareness, clarity of vision and personal growth. I suppose that is why I prefer to smoke rather than drink.. Alcohol just is so un natrual to me as it was to the native peoples. There are some alternatives herbally tho, and may be a wise choice at first..PM me if you'd like, I don't bite  :razz:
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Offline Anonymous

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I have a question...
« Reply #10 on: October 02, 2005, 08:00:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-10-01 17:15:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Hey Everyone,

Its been a while ( A long time). A lot has happened I am now

separated from my wife trust me its a good thing LOL!My daughter and I

spend alot more time together and she is adjusting to this nicely...

Thank God!! Any way on to my question...



When I went into st8 Iknow fro a fact that I didn't have a full blown

addiction problem. Yes I experimented Blah Blah Blah... The problem

didnt really start till after I left there trust me it became huge. As

I stated here I really believe that st8 is and always will be a drug

addict factory.Convince brainwash whatever that they are druggies and

st8 will have a never ending supply of product. Sad but true. I have

been clean thru NA for the last 16 years. Has anyone been clean fro a

long time and started smokeing and drinking again with out the st8

induced horror stories? I ask because I would really just like to hang

out and act like everyone eles. I am so sick of this life style. On

the other hand I am really scared by relapsing. Please excuse the term

butt ... can anyone relate?


Hey Rich... Sorry to hear about your divorce.  Been there myself, and yes, sometimes it is for the best.

Your question is a tricky one.  If you've had a serious problem in the past, then I'd proceed with caution if you're trying to introduce something back into your life - even in moderation - during a time of extreme change and stress.

What social things did you enjoy while you were married?
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Offline Helena Handbasket

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I have a question...
« Reply #11 on: October 02, 2005, 08:01:00 PM »
The last one was me.
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uly 21, 2003 - September 17, 2006

dragonfly

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I have a question...
« Reply #12 on: October 02, 2005, 11:44:00 PM »
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Offline Antigen

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I have a question...
« Reply #13 on: October 03, 2005, 10:42:00 AM »
Anon, I agree w/ you about the Program being a addict factory. And therein lies the rub. I guess you're probably around 40 by now and have a lifelong habit of believing that if you take one drink or just one toke it'll set you on an inexorable path to destruction. That's a pretty potent spell to cast upon yourself. Add to that that you have no experience practicing or even thinking about moderate, responsible use. That's a double hex.

I'd suggest you read up on Stanton Peele and Jeff Shaler's persepctives of the issue. Between the two of them, they blow to pieces the myths of the stepcult w/o underplaying the real risks involved in recreational use of psychotropics.

It's all about what you believe. Drunk or sober, stoned or straight, you're going to do whatever you believe you will.

Revelation indeed had no weight with me.
--Benjamin Franklin, American Founding Father, author, and inventor

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes

Offline PerfectStraightling

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I have a question...
« Reply #14 on: October 03, 2005, 10:55:00 AM »
When I stopped going, it was greatly helped by a book I read called, how alcoholics anonymous failed me. She knew exactly how I was feeling, and described how she came to realize AA wasn't helping her any longer. I would recommend checking this out to hear about someone who went through leaving the facist regime personally.
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