Dragonfly said--------"We did this to survive, maybe not physically but to survive as sane humans, we chose abuse over anililation, not physical but ego aniliation. So yeah we can feel guilty, but how many have willingly chosen to give up that? Three or four people in the history of humanity?
Pirate has said things to me in this vein, that if he had been christ or buddha he could have survived with out being broken, I think thats what you meant any way."-----------
Yeah I agree that we adopted straight thinking (not necessarily realizing it at the time) to survive but in a sense....isnt this simply acting on survival instincts and having our minds twisted by straight rather than conscious decision making? I guess I dont mean to totally eliminate "choice" because theoretically all in straight had "free will." But how much free will did we really have? We were children...like for me I was in a state of constant terror....when confronted for so-called "erroneus thinking" or "not admitting to drug use", etc., afterward I would seriously question my own thinking & feel extremely confused...and after awhile....after more confrontation, I came to believe (incorrectly) my thinking must be wrong and I must have used drugs because surely I wouldnt be confronted, belittled unless they are right and I'm wrong....
That was my thinking in the beginning...I dont remember ever really making choices(although maybe I did and just dont remember).....From my view now looking back, I beleive my mind (through the various abuses) became twisted into straight's thinking, because of the abuses NOT of my own will. If we were adults at the time...I think choice may have been more likley....because we would have had longer to form our own beliefs based on more life experiences.
I have another question...is it even remotely realistic to expect any that any child could have survived straight without being broken to some degree? I would agree that both Christ and Buddha are role models and that its a great idea to try to follow their example....but God as I understand him, does not expect us to be perfect....and to me, to think we have to be just like those two is setting ourselves up as humans for a lot of unnecessary self inflicted guilt.....
This is heavy topic...and its a little difficult to express and understand each other's viewpoints...so I think I am really asking lots of questions to understand where pirate (and now you dragonfly) are coming from and understand the logic or principles behind it. I hope I am making sense.... ::rainbow::
