Author Topic: why this site may cause depression  (Read 1225 times)

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Offline katfish

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why this site may cause depression
« on: September 11, 2005, 12:37:00 PM »
For me, I avoid and then return, but I think I find this site a drag sometimes b/c there's nothing proacitve here in the sense that the discussions we have and stories I share do not reach anyone but the people here.

I also get bummed b/c it seems to be insisted that a program is overall ok when it was not OK for me and others.  If it was not ok for some then, the hope is , that it should be recognized that, overall, the program is not good.  It needs to not harm anyone to be ok.

I guess, this general disregard for the experiences of those who felt we were harmed is why i, at times, have gotten so disgusted.  

Plus, it's draining to have to point that out- and to realize that society seems to think that it's ok too. SEEMS, though, that is the key word.  Politicians are listen, even if the public isn't.  That's part of what is so great about out society.  You can have a bunch of people that feel it's ok to violate rights, but have political officials work on your behalf as injured people, to make right what was wrong.

And that's why I 'keep comin' back' -ha, and find that sense of empowerment in writing letters to congressman and senators.  It does feel awesome to  take back some of that power that was taken away from us as kids- as helpless kids who didn't know (or really didn't have) a choice but to suffer through MMS.  I think MMS almost killed me and I'll be damned if sit around and let people ignore girls who are going to come out of MMS or other places feeling the same way when it is a situation that is perfectly preventable.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
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Offline granny19

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why this site may cause depression
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2005, 01:00:00 PM »
You are so right,Kat. That's what keeps me coming back as well. Of course, I wasn't a student there, but do have a very good reason for wanting to keep tabs on the place. Just keep those letters going out and the stories coming in and one day all of it will reach the right person. It's just hard to be patient!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline kerryberry420

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why this site may cause depression
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2005, 01:32:00 PM »
Yes, MMS had some negative points, I think it was not really good for me, but what I am saying is that their entire program has changed and it is nothing like it was when we all went there, so this site is now portraying MMS as it used to be, and not how it is now.  None of the same staff are there and John and Colleen don't even work there.  So, I know I am to blame for all this but before everyone keeps going with this they should get their facts straight, it's one thing to talk about how MMS WAS, but you don't know how it IS.
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Offline katfish

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why this site may cause depression
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2005, 04:17:00 PM »
Kerry,

why do you insist u are to blame, didn't Kathy start this forum? People been speaking out against MMS for a loong time, just see for yourself below.

http://www.strugglingteens.com/cgi-bin/ ... 058#000000

http://www.strugglingteens.com/cgi-bin/ ... 052#000000
http://www.strugglingteens.com/cgi-bin/ ... 033#000004
http://www.strugglingteens.com/cgi-bin/ ... 009#000002

The last one is my favorite, the parent writes (this was in 1998)

Hello -
I have a daughter in a therapeutic school and while her problem is not anorexia per se, I want to pass along my perspective about one of the schools we looked into that will probably be on your radar screen.
Mission Mountain School in Montana had been highly recommended and we were sure it was the "right" choice for us. It was NOT. The advice we were given to go to the school in person before we committied to a choice is vital - even though the schools are always in the absolute boonies so they are expensive and time consuming to visit. In the case of Mission Mtn. the headmaster was a very inappropriate choice for us as a family. He tended to be quite "god like" in his proclamations about his special approach which he considered too sophisticated for a layman to understand. What baloney! Don't forget, You are the caring parent. These programs succeed bec. of their removal from outside stimuli but since that unfortunately means the parents are cut off too MAKE SURE your parental instincts are satisfied. (and my own bias is to beware of places that are begrudging in their disclosures and/or too precious about their own "specialness".)
Sincerely and best wishes,
ae


Even AE recognized the problems of MMS- in all honesty it infuriates me that my own mother was not as competent, if only...

Also, Kerry, are saying that MMS would be the same as it was before if John and Colleen worked there?  Certainly most feel that they were the biggest problem at the school...

Also, I think no one will know how MMS truly IS until we hear back from ALL the alumni that are there.  I figure, if they were capable of so much harm then, what would be different now.  MMS philosophy (by John Mercer- unqualifeid psuedo-child therapist) is MMS philosophy, if John is in any way involved, I highly highly doubt much difference at it's core.  Once a tyrant always a tyrnat, as former staff have called him, but, perhaps he has reedeemed himself... dubious, but perhaps [ This Message was edited by: katfish on 2005-09-11 13:43 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead

Offline Anonymous

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why this site may cause depression
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2005, 05:06:00 PM »
Did I read correctly that Lon Woodbury (owner of Struggling Teens) had a daughter that went to this program?  If so, has she ever spoken out about the way she was treated (or saw others being treated) by the staff?

Personally, I think it's great so many teens (many now adults and parents themselves) are telling their stories on Fornits.

Somewhere out there, is a parent considering sending their kid away who after reading these stories, may change their mind and decide in favor of keeping their child at (or near) home to help them instead of shipping them thousands of miles away.

For the surviors of residential treatment abuse, sharing your stories can and does make a difference.  Don't be depressed!  Empower yourselves.  Take back your silenced voices and use them to SHOUT DOWN the program apologists and supporters.  

Like Ginger often says ... RAMPANT TALKING OUT OF GROUP ... that's what it's all about.

 :wave:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline katfish

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why this site may cause depression
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2005, 05:35:00 PM »
Kristie found MMS helpful, so... I think Lon and John Mercer are pretty tight- he highly highly recommends MMS,

Her take on the tough love approach- 'break you down' & ' build you back up' is that its something that worked for her, though I think she has said, as I think all alumni have (depsite where they fall in the MMS was abusive/MMS not abusive camp) that there were somethings that she would change.  Presumably the excessive labor/excersize, general physiological stress.  I acutally have no way of knowing what truly was the problem for people who found MMS helpful b/c it seems no one really wants to answer taht questions.  

That brings me to an intersting consideration-  I don't understand, but owuld like to understand, why alumni can't mention things they are actually critical of and only do so in extremely vague terms and in passing like "there were something that were bad, should change, etc but most were good and the good points were these xyz."
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead

Offline Anonymous

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why this site may cause depression
« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2005, 06:29:00 PM »
Kerry,

If I were you I would not take the weight of this on your shoulders. You are not to blame for what happened at MMS, you are not to blame for this forum. It was going to happen with or without you, you're not the one who started the whole thing. So don't take this on yourself.

You don't have any way of knowing what the program is like now because you are not there. If you went to the reunion and feel it's better because of what you saw then, think again. They were probably putting on a front, just like you girls did when you were there and visitors showed up. Don't kid yourself as most likely things are no better now than they were back then.

I really do not understand how or why you would defend a program now that was so hurtful to you and so many others. It sounds like you are falling into someone's trap, don't allow that to happen. If it's gotten better we'll know about it when some of the girls who are there now come out. It's only a matter of time until some do and they too will find this forum and they too will begin posting. Time will only tell, won't it?

So Kerry, I would not allow this to bother me if I were you. You are in no way to blame for any of this, the girls posting have a right to say what they feel and like I said, they would have done it whether you had said anything or not. People complained a long time ago, it just wasn't as easy to find as Fornits.

Ease up on yourself and don't allow anyone else to make you believe something that might not be true. I certainly wouldn't go around praising the place, if it were me, until I heard from girls who had been there and who were out, not who are still there, what their experience is like. I'm sure if you ask any girl who is in a program if they like it they're going to say yes. They know the consequences.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »