Encouraging Words for a teenager in Behavior Modification Sc

[P.E.N.1]

Would anyone have any encouraging words to help a teenager get through the hard times they are enduring? If so could you please be so kind to share some. And please, Jesus Loves You does not help.

[Anonymous]

Tell the teen it was their own best thinking and acting that got them where they are. Suggest that they work through whatever pain inside caused them to act out enough to earn a place in the program so that they can come out and live a productive and happy life.

[Nonconformistlaw]

If the child is still in the program...just tell him in to hang in there...stay strong....it will end...and do what ever it takes just for the sake of getting out ASAP.

AFTERWARD......

I guess....help him understand that many program survivors know how he feels and it IS possible to move on...even if at first it seems impossible. Its not easy to move on...but can and does happen. Help him have the courage to face the pain and scars left behind. Encourage him not to suppress the pain, if that's possible...

Other thoughts that I would pass along to the child if it were me in your shoes....

- Never give up on yourself
- You didnt deserve to be mistreated in a program, no matter what was going on before the program
- Only accept responsibility for what really is your fault before the program (if there is anything to really accept responsiblity for that is)....do NOT blame yourself for anything done to you while in the program
- encourage the child to get involve with things he/she enjoyed before program to help child "rediscover" his/her true individual self (to help get rid of the programmed false self)
- Encourage the child to talk about whatever he can/needs to but dont push it either - it will probably difficult if not impossible for the child to talk for quite a while...just let it be well known that its okay to talk anytime---that you'll be there for him/her
- Help child readjust to the real world---it will be a very awkward tranformation...whenever this comes up...encourage him to just keep at it, keep trying, let him talk about "feeling so different from everyone," help him find ways to develop new friendships, etc., tell him that eventually it does get easier to interract with others, it just takes time

Hope this helps  ::rainbow::

[Anonymous]

The Only Way Out Is Through ... that's what survivors of these programs would say in response to your question.

In other words, tell the child to fake it until they make it.  Those who "buy" into the program do so on a short term basis.  Real change must come from within ... and to do that, all you need is love and support, not a teen helper guarding you 24/7.

Kids in these programs have plenty of time to think ... what they don't have is a way to ocmmunicate their thoughts and feelings to their parents, siblings, friends, without censorship.

Parents should remember that men and women have died on the battlefields to preserve the liberty of all Americans, not just grown-ups.

It's a disgrace that parents strip their children of their basic rights in the name of "therapy".  

Beware that your child knows this even if you do not.

[OverLordd]

Tell the teen it was their own best thinking and acting that got them where they are. Suggest that they work through whatever pain inside caused them to act out enough to earn a place in the program so that they can come out and live a productive and happy life.

...
You know, as a side note, I'm on the percision rilfe team up at my college. They say I'll be able to pit a ace at 100 yards by the end of the season. This of course had nothing to do with anything the anon poster said, and was not a responce or a threat at all, just a side note about my life...  ::unhappy::

[Anonymous]

On 2005-09-10 17:47:00, Three Springs Waygookin wrote:

"Well from a ex-counselors perspective here is a few things that might help out.



1) Counselors love snitches. Meaning the kid who keeps them informed of all the things that goes on behind the scenes.

- encourage your kid to rat out as many underground activities as possible.



2) Counselors love kids who tell them they are doing a good job.

- get you kid to compliment their counselors on how much they really are helping them.



3) Validate the program



- at some point the program is wanting the kid to say that this place really did save them from being deadorinjail.



4) Admit to everything



- Look point out to your kid that the chances of him or her ever meeting anyone in their peer group is miniscule. Confess to every damn thing they want them to confess to .



5) raps or nightlies are like bowel movements. The more shit that comes out the better you feel.



- tell you kid to stage their topics for maximum dramatic impact. Remember PT. Barnum... Their is a sucker born every minute.



6) Parental involvement- actively bucking the program will only keep your kid on the inside. Keep your activities covert. No slipping your kid condoms or smokes during visiting hours. Spend your time preparing for the kids after program deprogramming.





ok... just reading this thing over makes me want to puke, but I sware all of the above is sickenly and sadly true. I saw it work time and time again.

Religion is based . . . mainly on fear . . . fear of the mysterious, fear of defeat, fear of death. Fear is the parent of cruelty, and therefore it is no wonder if cruelty and religion have gone hand in hand. . . . My own view on religion is that of Lucretius. I regard it as a disease born of fear and as a source of untold misery to the human race.
--Bertrand Russell, British philosopher, educator, mathemetician, and social critic

"

Yea, as horrid as all that is. This is what will get your kid out. Kid maybe a little not quit eright when they get home, That  is unavoidable.  I agree spend your time preparing a safe enviroment for them once home. Set up appts w/ good therapist and letthem know your child will be comming home, Interview them if you are able.

[Anonymous]

I agree with everything except the snitch part, cause that will get you beaten up. Life has to be livable with your peers, too, and if they all hate you, it's going to be rough. The counselors have the most power, sure, but when they aren't looking, your peers have some power, too, the power to kick your ass. Or if it's a no-violence school, like mine was, the power to ostracize you.

[Anonymous]

Well ... since these kids are treated worse than prisoners (who have access to legal advice and can make collect phone calls to a loved one or GASP, a boy/girl friend,  my best advice is to tell the kid to get a calendar and start marking the TIME off that he/she serves.  At least that way the kid won't be confused about what he is really doing (TIME) as opposed to getting any real help for his/her "issues".

Sorry, but sometimes it just seems pointless to tell these kids to "buck up" and "work the program" knowing it doesn't do them one bit of good once they get out and can begin to "feel their feelings" again .... which depending upon how much of their spirit was killed, will range from no feelings at all to sadness/depression and anger/rage.  

The more "institutionalized" the program, the more likely the kid will be programized (meaning lose their identity).  

Hopefully this kid was placed in a real boarding school not some quasi-emotional-growth house of horrors.

Psst ... it wouldn't hurt for the kid to develop a secret code language with his/her parents but that only works if the parent actually cares about their care and treatment.  Sadly, many don't and/or develop a near religious affectation for THE PROGRAM.  Monkey see, monkey do.

 :smokin:

[OverLordd]

ok... just reading this thing over makes me want to puke, but I sware all of the above is sickenly and sadly true. I saw it work time and time again.

You may be right TSW but I really dont want to think about the implications if you are. I dont think I would be brave enough to institute what you said. It takes more of a effort to go along with something and not be broken than stand and fight against it.

As a side note, dont tell your kid to snitch, it will only get him hurt.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-09-10 20:19:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Well ... since these kids are treated worse than prisoners (who have access to legal advice and can make collect phone calls to a loved one or GASP, a boy/girl friend,  my best advice is to tell the kid to get a calendar and start marking the TIME off that he/she serves.  At least that way the kid won't be confused about what he is really doing (TIME) as opposed to getting any real help for his/her "issues".



Sorry, but sometimes it just seems pointless to tell these kids to "buck up" and "work the program" knowing it doesn't do them one bit of good once they get out and can begin to "feel their feelings" again .... which depending upon how much of their spirit was killed, will range from no feelings at all to sadness/depression and anger/rage.  



The more "institutionalized" the program, the more likely the kid will be programized (meaning lose their identity).  



Hopefully this kid was placed in a real boarding school not some quasi-emotional-growth house of horrors.



Psst ... it wouldn't hurt for the kid to develop a secret code language with his/her parents but that only works if the parent actually cares about their care and treatment.  Sadly, many don't and/or develop a near religious affectation for THE PROGRAM.  Monkey see, monkey do.



 :smokin: "

Oh .. I forgot to mention that prisoners have another advantage over kids stuck in a money making hellhole ... PRISONERS KNOW HOW LONG they will remain behind bars whereas these poor kids have no idea ... all depends upon how much money Ma and Pa have to keep em' in the program.

 :smokin:

[Troll Control]

On 2005-09-10 14:38:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Tell the teen it was their own best thinking and acting that got them where they are. Suggest that they work through whatever pain inside caused them to act out enough to earn a place in the program so that they can come out and live a productive and happy life."

This is some fucking shit here, boy.  It was YOU, parent, that got them in a program, nothing they did.  It's what YOU did.

[Anonymous]

That's right, it's all the parents' fault- these kids have no problems and are perfectly normal, functional teenagers.  The parents just got tired of having them live in the house so decided to spend $60K a year or so to put them in a program.  
Good to see that good ol', psycho Dysfunction Junction rage coming through- again and again.

[P.E.N.1]

On 2005-09-10 14:38:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Tell the teen it was their own best thinking and acting that got them where they are. Suggest that they work through whatever pain inside caused them to act out enough to earn a place in the program so that they can come out and live a productive and happy life."

I would be able to deal with all this if it were only their best thinking that got them where they were. If my teen was sitting in juvi then yes, its their thinking somewhat that got them their.Its called natural and logical consequences of behavior. You do a crime you do the time. You drink and drive you may either end up dead, in jail or end up killing innocent people and then go to prison. Being sent away by your parents is not their own choice. My teen had no idea places as these exsisted, maybe if they were warned once if they keep messing up away you go, then they would have straightned their shit up. But no, neither them nor I knew.So, no wonder your dumb ass has to wear a bag over your head, I would to if I were that stupid!Oh and for them to work on what was troubling them inside, you actually think these places give a shit about that, let alone give kids a safe place to share whats happened to them..Ha, that would require caring about these kids.[ This Message was edited by: P.E.N.1 on 2005-09-11 07:58 ]

[Troll Control]

On 2005-09-11 07:52:00, Anonymous wrote:

"That's right, it's all the parents' fault- these kids have no problems and are perfectly normal, functional teenagers.  The parents just got tired of having them live in the house so decided to spend $60K a year or so to put them in a program.  

Good to see that good ol', psycho Dysfunction Junction rage coming through- again and again."

So your kid asked you to send him away, right?  I didn't think so.  

If you couldn't handle your job as a parent, you should have appealed to a therapist for help, not a quack (or a bunch of quacks).  If your kid needed to be institutionalized, why not do it locally?

Who's raging?  You read a lot of rage into my posts.  I would assume it's because you're full of rage.  Probably it would better be directed at yourself, i.e. the person that screwed up their kid's life as well as their own, not me.

[Anonymous]

You seem to think that proper parenting involves allowing the kid to do whatever her or she wants. Of course they don't ask to be sent to a program. When they are small, they usually don't ask to go to bed, or to go to school. If there is a need for therapeutic intervention, and all local resources have been exhausted, placement in a reputable program may be necessary. My experience is that there are a number of excellent therapists and non-abusive, excellent programs for teens in need of therapeutic help.  
I am wondering what makes you think I have ruined my kid's life.  What is it you know about my kid? How do you know the kid was harmed by the program? What makes you so sure I was a bad parent?
The answer is- you know nothing.  You are a psychotic, angry young man who has no life other than to bash people on a message forum and promote your own agenda which is based on ignorance.
I hope you aren't operating under the misguided notion that anything you say has any credibility with anyone other than your mutually dysfunction buddies here on this forum. No adult seeking information would view your input with anything but disgust.  In fact, disgusting is probably the best adjective to describe your very being. I hope you have a good therapist (not a quack) yourself.  Please print out all of your posts, take them to your therapist and have a nice double-session exploring why you feel compelled to attack any and all adults who dare to disagree with you and point out what a pathetic loser you are.