They turned our parents into the enemy

[the wet noodle]

I think that one of the worst things about Straight is how they tricked our parents into thinking that Straight was good for us. To this day my parents do not understand the affect that Straight had on me. Straight preyed on the fears of desperate parents who (for the most part)just wanted to have a normal kid.

B4 Straight I was a punk 15 year-old kid who was in a lot of pain...both from puberty and from drug abuse. Unfortunately my parents found Straight instead of another more sane treatment center. Straight told them not to believe me if I said anything negative about the place. I was just being a manipulative druggie after all... Straight even told them to report me (for my own good of course) if I ever seemed like I was having "trouble."

Straight made me fear my parents...parents are supposed to be protectors...and they made them the enemy.

Even today 18 years later as I start to work through all of the crap that went on in that place...my parents still cannot comprehend what happened to me or what they forced me to endure. One of my biggest issues is fear of abandonement...and every damn shrink that I see tells me that it is b/c my parents abandoned me when I was 15 when I needed them the most...

I do not blame my parents...it was Straight...they turned my own blood against me(for profit) by making them think they were helping me... That is just soooooooo EVIL!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

yeah, but face it---our families had to be dysfunctional to some degree for our parents to even considere incarcerating us in Straight.  And they had to be idiots to sit through part of an Open Meeting and think that Straight was an appropriate place for anyone, druggie teen or not....they must take their share of the blame for abdicating their parental rights to a bunch of power-crazed kooks.  The fact that they put us in Straight is abuse in and of itself, and it is neglect if they claim they were ignorant of what Straight was really about.  To put your child in the hands of sickos like the people who ran Straight, whether Newton, Petermann, Riddile, ad nauseum, is to abondon your child to the clutches of child abusers.  There is no excuse for it--they are either evil, criminally negligent, or just plain stupid.

[the wet noodle]

Or they were deperate and scared and did not know how to deal with an out of control teenager and were told that only Straight could help...look I am not trying to make excuses for my (our your) parents. I am just saying that our parent were brainwashed too...and just at a time when they were the most vlunerable...

Plus, I was a punk kid with a drug problem...I can only imagine what it would have been like to be one of those folks without a problem whose drug of choice was eating flowers (yes I recall a 13 year old with that issue). So I guess my personal experience shapes my opinion...

F Straight!!!!!!!11

[Nonconformistlaw]

I actually just posted something about this today....

Post URL: http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?to ... =80#129640

Finding this forum has made one thing very clear to me....my dad was a victim and was brainwashed to an extent...straight exploited his worst fears as a parent. My dad told me about what went on in parent raps. Parents were confronted and some of the same dogma bullshit that was forced onto us, was forced on to them as well...but on a much smaller scale. And knowing my dad the way I do...for all his mistakes, he is and always was, trying to do what he thought was right (yeah he was often dead wrong about me). And have no doubt, it took years to get on speaking terms with my dad.

My step monster on the other hand fell into the category of parent that just didn?t want to deal with me anymore and definitely wanted to dump me off on someone else...and I'll never be able to forgive her for her role in my captivity in straight. It was her idea to begin with. And to this day, I will not speak to or go near that woman! I still to this day see her as evil itself.

And there are some abusive parents out there, before straight entered the picture, who's act of putting a their kid in straight amounts to nothing less than another act of abuse itself.

My point really, is that there are different kinds of parents out there, not all were evil parents, but yeah no question some were into straights bullshit all the way, accomplices of Straight's evil, no doubt about it.

[the wet noodle]

I was also just trying to make the point that even today 17 years sober with a great relationship with my family (I am very lucky) it is extremely lonely to know that my parents will never understand my pain...

[Anonymous]

I doubt that you had a "drug problem" at age 15---or at least that you had a serious enough drug problem to warrant incarceration in an in-patient (I use the term 'patient' loosely--very loosely), lockdown facility of any kind, much less one as brutal as Straight.  

Sure, our parents may have been desperate---but they fucked up to have gotten to that point in the first place.  If they swallowed the line that "only Straight could help" then they were ignorant of the truth and too lazy to find the facts, or at least seek out a second opinion.  I wouldn't have an ingrown toenail removed with out a second opinion, and I sure as hell wouldn't send my kids off to some warehouse without getting one, no matter how "out of control" they were.  The parents that plead "what else were we to do? You were out of control and soon to be dead!" are merely tryint to hide their guilt and complicity in the abuses we suffered.  If they knew what Straight was and sent us there, they are abusers.  If they didn't know what Straight was and sent us there, they are criminally negligent as parents.  For a parent to subject a child to what we were subjected to is criminal, pure and simple.  For a parent to buy into the lies that Straight's salesmen shoveled them is stupidity.  For a parent to not investigate a program they are considering sending their kids to is criminally negligent.

I understand your desire to 'clear the air' between your parents and you, but you do yourself a disservice by not recognizing their complicity in the abuses we suffered.  They were charged legally, if not morally, with ensuring our well-being until we reached  adulthood, and by putting us in Striaght, they faileed miserably.

[Nonconformistlaw]

Anon said-----"To put your child in the hands of sickos like the people who ran Straight, whether Newton, Petermann, Riddile, ad nauseum, is to abondon your child to the clutches of child abusers. There is no excuse for it--they are either evil, criminally negligent, or just plain stupid."---------

With hindsight anon---every thing you say makes sense, but all I can think of when you say this...back in 1984 (in my case)---how widely known was it that the people involved were nothing less than low life criminals? I guess my question is---when did all the facts about those people really start coming to light in a way parents could have found out? A lot of lawsuits were settled so quickly and quietly...and its not like straight would have provided one once of incriminating evidence to suggest that it's "leadership" consisted of a bunch of child abusers, scam artists, and low life crooks! Hell, the other programs still get away with the same child abuse because the "truth" is so closely guarded....

Anyway----no matter how you look at it those monsters ruined a lot of lives, parent/child relationships, and there is no excuse in the world for the crimes that the monsters got away with?..and still do....even today.

[Anonymous]

In '82, when I went in, the knowledge of the abuses of Straight was not nearly as widespread as it was later, but this still is no excuse, in my opinion.  Just seeing the brainwashed kids singing nursrey rhymes and making goofy hand gestures should have been a tip-off that things weren't quite right at Straight.  The blatantly obvious lies and fucked up rules and regulations would have been 'red flags' to all but the most gullible of parents.  I wouldn't send a kid to a summer camp without investigating it more thoroughly than my parents investigated Straight.  For them to buy into the bullshit that Straight spouted is inexcusable, and for them to go along with it makes them complicit in our abuse, in my opinion.

[Nonconformistlaw]

wetnoodle said----"I was also just trying to make the point that even today 17 years sober with a great relationship with my family (I am very lucky) it is extremely lonely to know that my parents will never understand my pain..."------

Yeah I hear you. Sadly even the most compassionate and understanding parent (like my dad) who is willing to listen to my side of the abuse cannot possibly comprehend what it was really like. Ironically, I have spared my father some of the details for his own good...It would kill him to know what he thought was supposed to protect me actually damaged me so deeply. So I carry the weight all by myself and yeah its damn lonely...but it helps to post here.

My step-monster...If I thought I had an ounce of self control I would really let her have it...but then again since the woman is heartless anyway there really would be no point would there?

But the most horrible part of this...not only were many innocent teenagers destroyed, but many parent/child relationships and families were permanently destroyed by straight as well.

[Nonconformistlaw]

anon, there is no doubt that straight would never have gotten away with abuse for so many years if parents would have wised up and paid more attention to the red flags.

But anon...think about one thing, and god I'm not making excuses for certain miserable excuses for parents...but talking to my dad recently---one thing was painfully obvious....somehow they brainwashed him too, how I dont know, but he told me enough about the parent raps to set off alarms in my head real fast, and I know you know exactly what I mean, and you know how easy it is to dismiss the obvious when you are brainwashed.  Brainwashed parents are needed to make the scam work in the first place! For exactly the reasons you say!

[Withdraw]

[ This Message was edited by: Withdraw on 2005-09-22 23:19 ]

[Anonymous]

I think that any parent with half a brain would have realized it was jive before they even went to the first parent rap.  

Case in point--my parents tried to recruit a "druggie friend's" parents, and they were laughed at.  There is no way in hell that a responsible parent would put their child in Straight.  Our parents were failures, our families were dysfunctional before we first sat in an intake room.  They were intellectually lazy, and chose to believe Straight's comforting lies that we were the source of all family problems.  Our parents were NOT good parents to begin with (or at least mine weren't, and I find it hard to believe that they were the only ones) and became worse through their involvement with Straight.  I stand by my statement that they were either complicit in our abuse or they were incompetent as parents.  To even consider such drastic steps to 'remedy' what was normal adolescent rebellion, is by any standard, gross negligence on their part.

[Anonymous]

Anon---one other thing, for what its worth...I agree that some parents were basically complict, negligent and criminal along with straight...my stepmoster was a good example of what you were saying----there were just different types of parents...my dad was different....maybe you parents were more the abusive type...and all types were probably brainwashed. I imagine that the piece of shit parents were much easier to suck in because they were looking to unload their kid in the first place...which supports your argument by the way. Parents like my dad were easy to suck in because they meant well, were vulnerable, and scared.

BUT now with the internet...and so much information out there, it is much easier to get information...although most I fear is false advertising on a very deceptive and misleading level....back then that information just wasn't floating around like it is now.

[Nonconformistlaw]

Oops, that last post was me!

[Withdraw]

[ This Message was edited by: Withdraw on 2005-09-22 23:20 ]