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Author Topic: Elanbots: You suh all shotdown  (Read 4154 times)

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Offline Elan Reporter's Assistant

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« on: August 18, 2005, 10:32:00 PM »
Big Chief Marty Kruglik, Indian pedophile director of the Elan School in Poland Spring, Maine shot down all the Elanbots today for reacting to the posts of The Elan Reporter, Elan Reporter's Assistant, Mister Pink and several other anonymous supporters.

"You suh no react," Kruglik said.  "You suh have attitude problem.  Me suh collect shoelaces.  You suh go GI  You suh shotdown."

The three Elan correspondents will now be made coordinators at the IMR-placed school where they will order around the Elanbots and make them really angry with stories about the Elan staff.

"Elan Reporter make me famous, Elan Reporter's Assistant start me suh life story and Mister Pink write Elanbot manual," Kruglik said.  "Elanbots in good hands, but not mine because I would suckee suckee moose asshole."

As part of their shotdown therapy, the Elanbots will be given hourly verbal reprimands and be forced to perform buffalo duty and undergo genital coaling.

"State of Maine say me suh can no put them in boxing ring anymore," Kruglik said.  "Me suh find next best thing -- hot coals in underpants."

And remember, Elanbots, you're on a ban from the other shotdowns.  NO TALKING!  Me suh watching you.

Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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am Big Chief...Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh

Offline Leticia De Luna

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2005, 10:38:00 PM »

Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh
"
[/quote]

YOU PROBABLY JACK OFF TO THESE HI-YUHS
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Elan Reporter's Assistant

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2005, 12:02:00 AM »
Isn't that creative?  Do we have another IMR member?
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am Big Chief...Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh

Offline Anonymous

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2005, 01:11:00 AM »
For reacting, Leticia, you have a 48-hour extension on your shotdown hi-yuh hi-yuh.
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Offline Elan Reporter's Assistant

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2005, 10:27:00 AM »
Time for morning meeting.  Me suh do the song for my MMR.

Me suh Marty Kruglik
Me suh live in tepee
Me suh scalp young boys
Me suh play with pee pee

Me suh jack off buffalo
Me suh lick its balls
Me suh love squirrels too
Me suh drop my drawers

Me suh bathe in Portajohn
Me suh not very clean
Me suh no really care
Me suh scalp troubled teen!

Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh

OK shotdowns, time to GI![ This Message was edited by: Elan Reporter's Assistant on 2005-08-19 07:50 ]
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am Big Chief...Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh hi-yuh hi-yuh Hi-yuh

Offline Anonymous

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2005, 10:40:00 AM »
Quote
On 2005-08-18 22:11:00, Anonymous wrote:

"For reacting, Leticia, you have a 48-hour extension on your shotdown hi-yuh hi-yuh."


She also gets a sign which reads "Please Ask Me Why I Still Speak In Some Broken-English Gang Language, refuse to spell correctly, insist on ALWAYS USING CAPS and call men 'BITCH'!

No candy pack for HER!
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Offline Anonymous

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2005, 11:24:00 AM »
Quote
On 2005-08-19 07:40:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

On 2005-08-18 22:11:00, Anonymous wrote:


"For reacting, Leticia, you have a 48-hour extension on your shotdown hi-yuh hi-yuh."




She also gets a sign which reads "Please Ask Me Why I Still Speak In Some Broken-English Gang Language, refuse to spell correctly, insist on ALWAYS USING CAPS and call men 'BITCH'!



No candy pack for HER!"


SORRY "BITCH,"  I AM THE ONE WHO FILLED THE CANDY PACK ORDERS FOR YOUR SORRY ASS....  I WAS RE-ENTRY WORKING IN THE ANNEX @ E-7 HOUSE! THEN AGAIN, YOU PROBABLY NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO ORDER ONE, AS SHOTDOWNS CAN ONLY IMAGINE HAVING THEM....

LET'S SEE,,, YOUR SIGN WILL READ.. PLEASE ASK MY DUMB ASS WHY I AM INFATUATED WITH MARTY... WHY I DWELL, DAY & NIGHT, ABOUT GETTING MY ASS WHIPPED BY A FEMALE,,, 'CAUSE I AM A WARPED JACK ASS... WHO BY THE WAY LIKES GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS!!"
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Offline Leticia De Luna

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2005, 11:27:00 AM »
Quote
On 2005-08-19 08:24:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

On 2005-08-19 07:40:00, Anonymous wrote:


"
Quote


On 2005-08-18 22:11:00, Anonymous wrote:



"For reacting, Leticia, you have a 48-hour extension on your shotdown hi-yuh hi-yuh."







She also gets a sign which reads "Please Ask Me Why I Still Speak In Some Broken-English Gang Language, refuse to spell correctly, insist on ALWAYS USING CAPS and call men 'BITCH'!





No candy pack for HER!"




SORRY "BITCH,"  I AM THE ONE WHO FILLED THE CANDY PACK ORDERS FOR YOUR SORRY ASS....  I WAS RE-ENTRY WORKING IN THE ANNEX @ E-7 HOUSE! THEN AGAIN, YOU PROBABLY NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO ORDER ONE, AS SHOTDOWNS CAN ONLY IMAGINE HAVING THEM....



LET'S SEE,,, YOUR SIGN WILL READ.. PLEASE ASK MY DUMB ASS WHY I AM INFATUATED WITH MARTY... WHY I DWELL, DAY & NIGHT, ABOUT GETTING MY ASS WHIPPED BY A FEMALE,,, 'CAUSE I AM A WARPED JACK ASS... WHO BY THE WAY LIKES GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS!!""



forgot to sign in,,,, the above is written by LETICIA
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Offline The Elan Reporter

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2005, 11:41:00 AM »
[ This Message was edited by: The Elan Reporter on 2005-10-26 07:17 ]
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fArt Warshitsky sucks dicks!!!

Offline Anonymous

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2005, 11:43:00 AM »
Wow.She sure is proud about having been the "one who filled the candy pack orders". My guess is that it was the best job she ever had.
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Offline Anonymous

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2005, 11:44:00 AM »
Also, shotdowns can only "dream of" having candy packs? Are a pack of stale life savers and some hubba bubba really that exciting?I guess to Letisa they were.Poor thing.
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Offline The Elan Reporter

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« Reply #11 on: August 19, 2005, 11:45:00 AM »
[ This Message was edited by: The Elan Reporter on 2005-10-26 07:18 ]
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fArt Warshitsky sucks dicks!!!

Offline Anonymous

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2005, 11:53:00 AM »
Don't forget the "high school diploma" she brags about!
I thought only having a high school diploma gets you a job at the walmart.
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Offline GREGTICIA

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« Reply #13 on: August 19, 2005, 02:24:00 PM »
COLLAGE AINT NO BIGGER DAN HIGH SCOOL!
MY MAMA TELLED ME DAT!
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REGTICIA THINKS YOU IS ALL BITCHEZ!
SIKE!
CAPITAL LETTERS AIN\'T JUST FOR PROPA\' NAMES NO MO\'!

Offline Mister Pink

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Elanbots: You suh all shotdown
« Reply #14 on: August 19, 2005, 03:15:00 PM »
UPDATE ON TECHNICAL SERVICE BULLETIN 12.34
Candy Pack Servicing : Chief Mechanic Tony Merret

"In addition to regularly scheduled lubes performed by factory mechanics, and Verbal Reprimands overseen by a certified Robot Technicians (Robotechs), candy packs can be an effective tool in resisting corrosion, both on the main motherboard and the primary propaganda circuits. If you've purchased a Coordinator or Re-Entry model, these candy packs will fill your elan bot with immense pride, enabling them to be resistant to the constant abuse suffered while on the Fornits Forums. The sugar content in an elan certified candy pack will provide steady brainwashing: keeping your elan robots "high school diploma" in mint third grade level conditioning. For lower level models, such as the Expeditor and Department Head, the candy pack should not be administered without first removing the ramrod from your elan-bot. With the right tool and mechanical know-how, a candy pack can be installed easily, and should not require the help of a Robotech. If you do have any troubles during the installation, please call

USA
1-800-848-ELAN

CANADA

1-888-456-ROBO

EUROPE

2-224-326-EBOT
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quot;Its a shame the way she makes me scrub the floor\" - Bob Dylan
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