I definitely think you should get a lawyer, to at the very least, put a hell of a lot of pressure on them.
And about the family law judges, not all of them necessarily come down on the side of these programs. The judges I know are more concerned about following and upholding the law, which is their job. So dont back off just because some judges might be program loving...many are able to set aside the personal opinions.
And I agree with what someone else said... even if its a losing battle...the potential PR damage to the program from the battle itself might work in your favor.
My mother (non-custodial) in the eyes of Straight had no rights and had no say so in my incarceration there, no phone contact at all, no letters, etc...so in frustration she flew across the country to see me and to try to take me out of the program and to go live with her. Natuarlly, Straight would have none of that and recited the bullshit that annonymous said, that she was my problem, not in my best interest...and other lies...
I never knew this happened until years after Straight when my mother told me about it. She had no idea that they never bothered to tell me about her visit. Yeah she was my problem, but it WAS in my best interest to, at the very least, have some type of contact with her. If I knew of her act of concern and love, while in the program, it would have made such a difference to me at a time I really needed to know something like that.
Hope things work out ::rainbow::