Struggling Teens Shot Down

[Anonymous]

I'm new here - how can you tell the parent anonymous from the kid anonymous?  How do you know who you're arguing with?

[Anonymous]

YOU DON'T!!!!

[Anonymous]

On 2005-07-30 08:49:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Here is another one.. god, I can't believe some of these parents ignorance..

goldenguru

Member

Member # 4289



Well I was confronted with my "controlling self" yesterday. I realized I was not detaching.



My daughter packed on about 20 pounds at her TBS. She hates the extra weight. She had started eating healthier and exercising. So yesterday she decides she wants to run through a drive through and super size it. I began nagging her and reminding her of her decision to take off some weight, yada, yada, yada. I could see she was getting very irritated with me. [Mad] I apologized for my behavior and reassured her that this is her decision alone, and that I would butt out. It felt so good to me (and her) to recognize the need to detach.



So she skipped the fast food and came home and made a chicken salad instead. She chose.... not me. [Big Grin]



Hopefully next time I catch myself before I open my big mouth. [Wink]



--------------------

Kelly

Sounds to me like these parents just have to deal with the same problems when their teens return.



I hope they feel good about spending so much money. Where to you find the dumbest parents? Struggling teens!  :lol:



If I was greedy and evil like these folks, I would start a program too, it's just sooooooo easy taking money from these people. "

GOLDEN GURU?  Hell the name says it all.

These so-called parents are on such a power trip.  Cracks me up how they need "therapy" after their kid gets out ... and suddenly ... they can't micro manage their every thought and action.

SICKOS!

[Anonymous]

Actually, most of the parents on the strugglingteens board are well-educated, bright and care deeply about their kids.  Many of the kids who have gone to programs have come home and been very successful. Check out KareninDallas' posts- her son is a super-star student and athlete. He hated his program, but figured out that his parents did the right thing. He maneuvered his way out early and never looked back. Do you call that scarred for life?  There are many similar stories- FS, MrsDVA, PeteandBarb- the families have been through hell and have come out stronger.  
It isn't the parents on that board who have all the anger- it is you mindless little shits who post over here.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-07-30 12:48:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Actually, most of the parents on the strugglingteens board are well-educated, bright and care deeply about their kids.  Many of the kids who have gone to programs have come home and been very successful. Check out KareninDallas' posts- her son is a super-star student and athlete. He hated his program, but figured out that his parents did the right thing. He maneuvered his way out early and never looked back. Do you call that scarred for life?  There are many similar stories- FS, MrsDVA, PeteandBarb- the families have been through hell and have come out stronger.  

It isn't the parents on that board who have all the anger- it is you mindless little shits who post over here."

The parents at strugglingteens are control freaks. Sure, they may love their kids, but that love in superceded by an incredible need to keep their teen a baby. So they put the teen is a place where he/she is not allowed to be anything but a baby. A place where he/she is forced to ask permission to speak, stand, eat, speak. A place where he/she is not allowed to make any decisions, at all.

Yes, there are kids who manage to make it through despite their parents' poot judgement and terrible choices. Unfortuantely, not all kids are that resilient.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-07-30 12:48:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Actually, most of the parents on the strugglingteens board are well-educated, bright and care deeply about their kids.  Many of the kids who have gone to programs have come home and been very successful. Check out KareninDallas' posts- her son is a super-star student and athlete. He hated his program, but figured out that his parents did the right thing. He maneuvered his way out early and never looked back. Do you call that scarred for life?  There are many similar stories- FS, MrsDVA, PeteandBarb- the families have been through hell and have come out stronger.  

It isn't the parents on that board who have all the anger- it is you mindless little shits who post over here."

Well .. you see ... it's ALL in the koolaid shoved down the throats of you gullible, control freak program parents.

Fornits is KOOLAID free.

Stick around .. you just might learn a thing or two about parenting without a PROGRAM MANUAL to tell you what to do (and where to send your check).

 :rofl:



 :rofl:

[Anonymous]

On 2005-07-30 12:48:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Actually, most of the parents on the strugglingteens board are well-educated, bright and care deeply about their kids.  Many of the kids who have gone to programs have come home and been very successful. Check out KareninDallas' posts- her son is a super-star student and athlete. He hated his program, but figured out that his parents did the right thing. He maneuvered his way out early and never looked back. Do you call that scarred for life?  There are many similar stories- FS, MrsDVA, PeteandBarb- the families have been through hell and have come out stronger.  

It isn't the parents on that board who have all the anger- it is you mindless little shits who post over here."

This is why we love you guys so much from struggling teens. You make this all SO much fun!  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[Anonymous]

goldenguru
Member
Member # 4289

As you know, our daughter has been home for about 4 weeks. Things have gone remarkably well. Until last night.

She came into our bedroom around midnight. She was sobbing. Near hysterics. Once she calmed enough to make a coherent sentence I learned that she had stumbled upon a file that I have in my desk. It contains medical records from psychiatrists, therapists, inpatient stays, etc. She read through everything.

To the best of my understanding, this caused a sort of a flashback for her. She said she did not realize the extent of her dysfunction at the time. She also said that "I'm psycho. I have never been normal".

She was finally able to calm herself. I could see her using tools (such as checking her negative thinking processes) and she was able to cope without resorting to old unhealthy patterns of coping.

In addition, I thought it was good that she came to us for support. Before she would just internalize and not reach out for support.

So, my question is this. Did your kids ever come to a place where they sort of flashed back/freaked out over their pasts? Is this a necessary step to moving forward? Any similar experiences? Thanks in advance for reading to the end of my rather lengthy post.

--------------------
Kelly

[Anonymous]

On 2005-07-30 16:30:00, Anonymous wrote:

"goldenguru

Member

Member # 4289



As you know, our daughter has been home for about 4 weeks. Things have gone remarkably well. Until last night.



She came into our bedroom around midnight. She was sobbing. Near hysterics. Once she calmed enough to make a coherent sentence I learned that she had stumbled upon a file that I have in my desk. It contains medical records from psychiatrists, therapists, inpatient stays, etc. She read through everything.



To the best of my understanding, this caused a sort of a flashback for her. She said she did not realize the extent of her dysfunction at the time. She also said that "I'm psycho. I have never been normal".



She was finally able to calm herself. I could see her using tools (such as checking her negative thinking processes) and she was able to cope without resorting to old unhealthy patterns of coping.



In addition, I thought it was good that she came to us for support. Before she would just internalize and not reach out for support.



So, my question is this. Did your kids ever come to a place where they sort of flashed back/freaked out over their pasts? Is this a necessary step to moving forward? Any similar experiences? Thanks in advance for reading to the end of my rather lengthy post.



--------------------

Kelly



"

What a bitch. Instead of comforting her kid and helping her focus on real life instead of all the "help" and "therapy" and "behavioral patterns" bullshit, she runs right back to the arms of the psycho-babble so common in the teen abuse industry.

How does this lady expect her daughter to not feel like a psycho, after being forced to go throguh so many "helpful" therapists, programs, etc.?

[Anonymous]

she was never normal because she never had normal parents.  People in the real world don't use words like "internalize" or "checking her negative thinking processes."  Maybe these parents should try to be a little bit more human with their kids.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-07-30 17:17:00, Anonymous wrote:

"she was never normal because she never had normal parents.  People in the real world don't use words like "internalize" or "checking her negative thinking processes."  Maybe these parents should try to be a little bit more human with their kids."

Agreed.

[Antigen]

On 2005-07-30 12:55:00, Anonymous wrote:

The parents at strugglingteens are control freaks. Sure, they may love their kids, but that love in superceded by an incredible need to keep their teen a baby. So they put the teen is a place where he/she is not allowed to be anything but a baby. A place where he/she is forced to ask permission to speak, stand, eat, speak. A place where he/she is not allowed to make any decisions, at all.

Why is that, ya' think? I've been brooding on this now for a number of years; since my oldest turned... about 14, so 7 years or so now. Of course, I thought it was just me. I always think it's just me. Eventually, after much fighting and many words and deeds I wish I could take back, I finally settled on a policy of just being up front about things.

I don't know what they should do, how they should act or to what, exactly, they should aspire. My life when I was their age was spent in the Twilight Zone. So, when they ask (or, sometimes, when they don't but I think I have a really good idea) I'll tell them what I think, but w/ the standard disclaimer that I can't be sure; that they should take my opinion into consideration and do what they think is best.* That seems to work better than anything I've tried before.

But I'm starting to think that this entire generation, and likely the one or two before, are just as lost and uncertain as I've ever felt; maybe moreso. We don't have role models in our lives of good, successful 15 - 20 year olds. There isn't any sock model of The Right Way® to be a young adult.

*Of course, I'm talking about the vast array of issues that I can't be completely sure about. The ones I am sure of, I have no prblem just telling them what I know. If you think I'm a pushover, just ask my kids. We have very few big fights anymore. When I do decide to put my foot down, they know it's a lost cause to try and move me. I just try to not overplay that mighty awsome mom-fu card.

The inspiration of the Bible depends on the ignorance of the person who reads it.
--Robert G. Ingersoll, American politician and lecturer

[OverLordd]

Aww fuck, some anon just had to go posting their comments on here, God damn it, I'm going to take so much heat for that. People!! there are some of us fighting on this site for our thoughts and arguments. So please sweet christ, dont post their posts on here, they tend to get pissy and attack me.

[Anonymous]

YOU ARE THE ONE WHO STARTED THE BACK AND FORTH! LOL

[Anonymous]

On 2005-07-30 19:20:00, OverLordd wrote:

"Aww fuck, some anon just had to go posting their comments on here, God damn it, I'm going to take so much heat for that. People!! there are some of us fighting on this site for our thoughts and arguments. So please sweet christ, dont post their posts on here, they tend to get pissy and attack me."

What are you talking about OL? Why should you have to "fight" to express an opinion on a discussion board?  Oh yeah ... ST stands for Stepford Times.  

Sorry ... carry on!

 :scared:  :scared:  :scared:  :scared: :scared: