Typical Day at Sagewalk

[Anonymous]

On 2005-08-08 10:03:00, Anonymous wrote:

"As the step-parent of one of these type of chldren you have no clue the pain, anguish and heartbreak it takes to make a decision like these parents did.



I have watched my husband go to hell and back several times attempting to keep our son in the home, believing as all parents do, that we could help him... we were so wrong. When we finally gave in and sent him to a wilderness type program it was the most horrible decision to have to make. But the bottom line is that our son needed help we were not equiped to provide and despite years of appealing to almost every agency in Florida for help, no was available until my husband gave up custody to DCF. For all those undereducated folks, most treatment programs are not covered by insurance and run upwards of $500 dollars a day. Our son had become a danger to himself and our other children.



To all of those that cannot understand how a parent can "give up" a child like that and think it is the easy way out, should speak with my husband for even 5 minutes. You will find heartbreak, utter despair and a feeling of total failure. So until you have walked a mile in the shoes of one of these parents/caregivers please do not share your completly uneducated opinion, I pray that none of you ever face the kind of decisions that we have had to.



I wish that I had known about Sagewalk, please also know that the majority of these type of kids are master manipulators and it sounds as if you all have fallen for the acting/antics."

 ::boohoo::

You don't honestly think people buy this poor, pitiful parent routine do you>

 :smokin:

[Deborah]

Talk about manipulation....

Struggling Step Parent,
What exactly did the DCF/program do for your step-son that your hubby couldn't/wouldn't do at home?
Which program did DCF send him to?

[Anonymous]

HAve you raised one of these children successfully ? Have you watched your other children, teachers, nieghbors and innocent bystanders be abused ?

Given your response you are definetly one of the uneducated bunch out there...

These parents and children need to our prayers and understanding, not the insults of anybody who has not been in these circumstances ...

[Anonymous]

We tried Eckerd Youth ALternative, Crossroads, Circles of Care, University Behavioral Center the list goes on.

You can only do so much at home, however when that child is physically acting out towards all around him, including a 300 pound sherrif, your options become limited.

[Anonymous]

RATINGS are falling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some parents figuring out it was a mistake to let their kids participate (e.g. Jada Chabot).

The whole wilderness therapy industry just took a major negative hit with Brat Camp.

Congratulations SAGE WALK AND ABC!!!

Your collaborative exploitation of children and families royally backfired.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

Now, how about a show with troubled parents playing tug-of-war with their teens?

That's gotta be a winner.

[Nihilanthic]

Daytime talkshows... thats where that kind of bullshit belongs  :grin:

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense

--Buddha

[Anonymous]

Dream on-  this will help the wilderness industry. The problem of the cost is still there, though.  Upwards of $10K for every 3 weeks..... hardly any covered by insurance.

[Deborah]

Actually, I have had 'one of these types of kids' whose problems began AFTER 6 months in a program.

So what did Eckerd Youth ALternative, Crossroads, Circles of Care, University Behavioral Center do for him that dad couldn't?

[Anonymous]

On 2005-08-08 10:53:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Dream on-  this will help the wilderness industry. The problem of the cost is still there, though.  Upwards of $10K for every 3 weeks..... hardly any covered by insurance."

After BRAT CAMP, parents who send their kids to WT will be too ashamed to admit it.

[Anonymous]

I wonder were you faced with a choice of DCF removing the other children from your home ? We had a Doctor from a crisis center tell us we where nuts if we brought him home... he was homocidal, sucidial and acting out sexually.

He never made it long enough at Eckerd to get help, then went from the crisis center to University Behavioral Center. What could we not provide him at home ... 24 hour a day supervision. He was at the point that he could not control himself to get through a school day and I would be the one to go pick him up. It got so bad that I would bring my site superintendent with me out of fear. At home we could no longer control him when he would go into a rage, and he made a target out of the 2 youngest, who at 3 & 5 really could not protect themselves.

At University Behavioral Center he continually refused to attempt to co-operate with any help provided/offered. In addition testing showed him to have a propensity to rape as a form of control over others.  Believe me sending him into DCF custody was not a decision made lightly, however it was at the recommendation of over 20 mental health professionals from various agencies.

I wonder have you found anything that has worked for your child ? We would love to hear about it - all we want is for our son to have a productive life. Please do not assume it has been for lack of parenting on our part - we are actively involved in all of his therapy. Unfortunately the one thing we have learned through this process is that until he wants the help - he will continue down this destructive path.

[Anonymous]

That's part of the problem, since people do not understand how dangerous and scary these kids can be ... they get refered to as "bad/lazy parents" and do not talk about it. They live in a private HELL until they either send the child away for help or that child hurts someone and ends up in custody.

We have one of these kids and if we are such bad parents how come our other six children are happy, well adjusted, respectful healthy kids ? Two of them being teenagers ?

[Anonymous]

On 2005-08-08 11:09:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I wonder were you faced with a choice of DCF removing the other children from your home ? We had a Doctor from a crisis center tell us we where nuts if we brought him home... he was homocidal, sucidial and acting out sexually.



He never made it long enough at Eckerd to get help, then went from the crisis center to University Behavioral Center. What could we not provide him at home ... 24 hour a day supervision. He was at the point that he could not control himself to get through a school day and I would be the one to go pick him up. It got so bad that I would bring my site superintendent with me out of fear. At home we could no longer control him when he would go into a rage, and he made a target out of the 2 youngest, who at 3 & 5 really could not protect themselves.



At University Behavioral Center he continually refused to attempt to co-operate with any help provided/offered. In addition testing showed him to have a propensity to rape as a form of control over others.  Believe me sending him into DCF custody was not a decision made lightly, however it was at the recommendation of over 20 mental health professionals from various agencies.



I wonder have you found anything that has worked for your child ? We would love to hear about it - all we want is for our son to have a productive life. Please do not assume it has been for lack of parenting on our part - we are actively involved in all of his therapy. Unfortunately the one thing we have learned through this process is that until he wants the help - he will continue down this destructive path. "

Until he wants help ... 4 important words.

In and out of programs does take it's toll, ya know.

As for the other kids who turned out "just right"?  

That's a question only you can answer. Obviously you aren't the perfect parent (who is?) but to blame it all on the kid is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!

Grow up and take some responsibility, parents.

 :smokin:

[Anonymous]

None of our children are perfect, niether are we as parents. As far as the other children in the household , what I was taking exception to was the statement that we are not disciplining this child or not doing a good job - how do you explain the other children in the household who function at a normal (whatever that may be level ?

Please do not dare tell a parent to take responsibility...here is a flaw in that statement, niether on of us are this childs biological parents. My husband came into his life at 5 years old and I came into his life at 12 years old. Take responsibility !!! HAH we have taken responsibility far beyond the call of duty of a biological parent and I have the physical scars to show for it, please get off that trip. Actually we have had more than one professional tell us that we should have the adoption overturned - we have not done that. My husband has taken this responsibility very seriously over the past few years !!!

[Deborah]

The main thing you should have learned from watching BC is that there is always something below a child's 'undesirable' behavior.
With Nick it was being teased relentlessly because of his dylexia.
Lexie- sexually abused by a family friend.
Lauren- grieving her father's death.
Iasiah- resentment toward his mother for breaking up the family......

Has even ONE of these people/programs discovered what is underlying this child's anger?

Good god. Adopted. Two step mom's in 7 years. Numerous programs. I'd say the kid has some justifiable reasons to be angry. Who's going to 'help' him dismantle the resentment? Do you think punishment is the appropriate 'therapy'?

The house is on fire and the children are alone.

[Anonymous]

I am his only step mom - his real mom passed away. Numerous people, including his own mother have tried to get to the bottom of this. He was adopted by my husband when his mom was dying and he had no legal relatives that wanted to take him in.

The funny part is my husband adopted him to protect him from the very place he is now DCF custody.

As is typical people assume his anger just recently started... how do you explain these dangerous outbursts at three, four and five ?
When his mom was alive, home with him and he was in a very loving environment ?

Again I ask you what has worked for your child ? You seem to only want to insult other parents choices. As I said earlier this decision was made on the advice of alot of professionals who knew this child very well.