On 2005-07-31 08:39:00, Anonymous wrote:
"The parents on strugglingteens have not "given up" on their kids. To the contrary, they are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice- sending their child away from home for help.
Couldn't go a post without saying this could you?
Fuck you for thinking YOU made the ultimate sacrifice. Your CHILD did, in most cases, against their will. You merely did what the EDCON told you to do. You are a dollar sign and don't even know it."
Relax! Emotions are getting too high here and when you regress to comments like "fuck you," you are not allowing dialogue to grow in any way. I don't agree with most of what goes on in these camps, but I do believe that most of these parents genuinly (can't spell today, sorry) want to try to do what is best for their child. Many of them have tried many other methods with little sucess. The parents that I have the problem with are the ones who haven't tried or put forth the full effort. Often, the whole family needs help, not just the "kid." One person's problems affects the whole family and everyone in the family contributes to this. This is why family therapy is so effective and important.
From watching "Brat Camp" on TV, I have to say that I have real problems with many of their methods. I don't know how kids are supposed to build trust when they switch guides on them as they did to this group even near the beginning of the program. When kids are lied to in order to enter the program, this does not build trust. IMHO, (I'm no professional)trust is one of the most important things these teens need to learn. Not just trust of others, but to trust themselves. That is part of many of their issues with lies. I don't see how surprising them repeatedly will enable them to build any of this trust. How will they ever learn to ask for help if they need it in the future. America is socialogically the most logical place for a program like this with it's rugged individualism. I find a lot of contradictory messages in this progam- for instance- you have to do it yourself vs. you need to do things for the sake of the group.
Finally, I question whether the 13 yr. old really has the maturity to be able to handle a program like this. His cognitive abilities are less developed and he is dealing with ADHD on top of it. I know many of you may not "believe in" ADHD/ADD, but I have it, and I'm telling you, it's real. Being told over and over that he is faking it isn't going to help him much. For years I had been told that I was just being passive aggresive and didn't want to do my work, or believed that I was lazy, or was told that I really wanted to fail, not succeed, etc. Trust me that really screws with your sense of self and creates some major emotional insercurity etc. later on... not that it can't be worked out of course :wink:BY NO MEANS HOWEVER DO I MEAN THAT HIS ADHD SHOULD BE USED AS AN EXCUSE!!! Far too often parents and kids justify unacceptable behavior under the guise of ADD. TO DO SO WOULD BE TO UNJUSTLY LEAVE THE CHILD TOTALLY UNPREPARED FOR LIFE IN THE REAL WORLD. He does however, need to be given TOOLS so he can RECOGNIZE when he is having a problem, COMPENSATE with his new skills and learn to COPE with his disadvantage to make him a productive member of society. I put this in caps because too often people will focus on my ADD after I mention that I have it and assume that the previous are not the beliefs that I hold. (We wind up saying the same things, but they go on arguing because they are too blind to see we really agree. I just sort of shut up at that point... lol)
The physical issues of that kid disturb me too because, not being a medical professional, I have no idea whether he is really capable of the tasks they are giving him or not. He is so much smaller than the other kids. I have physical challenges myself, so it makes me wonder how I would have been treated in such a program. I have very serious allergies and allergy induced asthma. I also have a weak immune system. (I've most grown out of the weak immune system part of things, but would need special blood if I ever had to receive a transfusion.)
Sorry to rant for so long. Some of these programs may have some validity and efficacy to them. Watching the program, I do see adjustments that I think they could make to have this work better. Of course, I'm no psychologist, the most I have done is the 3 psychology classes I had in college and the education I received from reading over my mom's shoulder when she was in grad school for social work. Not having studied this, I have no proof. I think more studies need to be done on this, but in the meantime, the welfare of these children should be safeguarded and watched extremely carefully.
