DONT SCHOOLS HAVE TO ASK PARENTS PERMISSION BEFORE THEY.....

[p.e.n.i.#1]

BEFORE DENYING ME MY WEEKLY 5 MINUTE PHONE CALL FROM MY SON DOESNT THE SCHOOL HAVE TO FIRST GET MY PERMISSION TO PUT MY SON ON A "FAMILY BLACKOUT" AS THEY CALL IT? OR CAN THEY JUST TELL ME "SORRY ABOUT YOUR LUCK BUT YOU ARENT GO TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO YOUR SON" THIS HAS BEEN HAPENING FOR 4 WEEKS NOW AND IM GETTING REAL WORRIED. PLEASE CAN ANYONE TELL ME BECAUSE I CANT GET AN ANSWER FROM ANYONE AT THE SCHOOL. OH YA, NO LETTERS EITHER. PLEASE REPLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nihilanthic]

Turn the caps OFF, please.

Anyway, they cant do that. Thats bullshit and is 100% illegal. However, theyre counting on you being a whimp or a moron, well, guess what? You dont have to.

Tell them if you arent allowed to talk to your kid, youre going to go to the authorities - AND DO SO. Follow through. Or, just show up and talk to your kid yourself.

I don't think we're here for anything, we're just products of evolution. You can say 'Gee, your life must be pretty bleak if you don't think there's a purpose' but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
--Dr. James Watson, American biologist

[p.e.n.i.#1]

Sorry about the caps! Now that I look it is irratating huh, anyway, I wish I could show up but I live in California and he is in New York. Also, I have no custody of him. But regaurdless I am entitled to at least be able to ensure he is still alive and somewhat okay. I am so pissed off ! They tell me "Sorry you wont be getting your 5 minute phone call again this week because your son is still "in the corner" I got upset last time I spoke to the "contact" person because in ther handbook in the corner sanction says nothing about not being able to call your parents or corespondence of any kind. That would be under something called "Family Blackout" well the guy from the school hung up on me and I have yet to get anyone to call me back. I only get there answering machine and voice mailbox, no real people, and when they call to tell me I wont get to talk to my son, its always a student that calls. Thank you for the conformation on my gut feeling now Im real upset! now what???

[p.e.n.i.#1]

Due to the posts I have received from this forum on this I was able to call my sons dad and ask him if he gave the school permission to put our son on blackout, he hesitated and was very surprised that I knew this would be illegal to do without permisson from the parents, anyway I threatend to take him back to court for violating the little rights I have left , he told me that he did give the school permission and that I would be for sure getting my 5 minute phone call this Saturday with our son, so we will see.........

[Anonymous]

p.e.n.i., this sounds like a very frustrating situation for you, and your son.  Remember that when you do talk to him, he will probably be monitored and even possibly recorded, so be careful what you say.  Also, he might say that he's "fine" when he really isn't because he doesn't want to get in trouble.  The best thing to do is assure him that you love and care about him, no matter what happens.  Five minutes go by fast- so make them count.  You have my support.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is legal anywhere as a matter of fact if your child was to Lawyer up somehow they would be able to prove it was a violation of his civil rights, parents permission or not, he is not living at home, they can't even do that to people in prison or Psych hospitals, what right does a program or a parent have to do that.  A huge violation I would hope of his civil rights.  The problem with these places that do this and the parents that send them is they don't realize these kids have rights end of story!  If someone or more than one person were to make enough complaints to the Feds on particular programs often enough they would step in and things would change I would hope.

[Anonymous]

How come no one on this forum wonders why this mom has no custody.

is it possible that her talking to the kid will in fact undermine his progress?

[Anonymous]

On 2005-07-22 11:13:00, Anonymous wrote:

"How come no one on this forum wonders why this mom has no custody.



is it possible that her talking to the kid will in fact undermine his progress?

"

This is total bullshit. Having your parents' support and being in touch with the outside world does not undermine progress. On the contrary, it encourages progress and positive change. Kids who are experiencing difficulties or problems need all the support they can get-- especially their parents' support.

[Anonymous]

if your familier with original poster story you would see how wrong you are.

she never says why she doesnt have ANY custody, other than a passing reference to some psych evaluations.

her kid lives on the other side of the country with dad for a few years.  dad determines that the kid needs help so he puts him in an expensive sleep away camp of a school where they are gonna be sure that the kid has his limits and he better stay inside them.  for some reason on these forums, everyone assumes that the custodial parent has not now for the first time in his life the kid has no control over the situation (good), and when he screws up there is a real consequence.

now since mom in noncustodial, she isnt an authority figure, and the kid a perfect angel to her.

what happened with this woman is that the kid got on the phone and told her that dad only out his own son in this school to get revenge on her.

that is so typical of what these kids do to manipulate divorced parents, what isnt typical and very disconcerting is that the mom believes it and starts talking about rescuing the kid one way or another.  the child wins again right?  the manipulation pays off right?  wrong.

at this school the childs conversation is being monitored by another kid who knows the situation, and has some experience with brats.  he ends the conversation.

if what i've said is true, and assuming that the kid really is a brat who is throwing his life away at 17, isnt the dad doing the right thing by taking him out of whatever negative enviornment hes in and sticking him somewhere where he will hopefully become a man?

this kid is making his own food, doing his own laundry, and completing his school assighments probably for the first time in his life.

youre gonna tell me contact with the mom already determined by the courts to be an unfit parent who wants to rescue the kid isnt undermining Tx!

[Antigen]

On 2005-07-22 11:13:00, Anonymous wrote:

"How come no one on this forum wonders why this mom has no custody.



is it possible that her talking to the kid will in fact undermine his progress?

"

Well, maybe because some of us have some 1st and 2nd hand experience w/ the family court system. Unlike civil or criminal courts, family courts have absolutely no requrement for evidence. So their judgements are often entirely meaningless. May be, this particular judge based their decision entirely on the fact of a past conviction. Could be the father had a better lawyer and simply was better able to pursuede them.

It's more than possible that this kid talking to his mom would undermine the program. In fact, it's extremely likely that any outside influence would undermine the program. That's why they don't allow it. The Program only "works" if they can isolate the new inductee. See Thought Reform Programs and the Production of Psychiatric Casualties Psychiatric Annals 20:4/April 1990 By Margaret Thaler Singer, Ph. D. and Richard Ofshe, Ph. D. for more info.

The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, poet, philosopher

[P.E.N.1]

If my 5 minute phone call a week can effect my son more than the programing of 24/7 than I say they should let me talk to him more to encourage him, I dont discourage him in my 5 minutes, I tell him I love him and tell him about the house we are going to buy, and how big his brother is getting. Come on five "F"in minutes is rediculious when I was in prison I talked to him and communicated more. This is a child who all he has ever wanted is to spend more time with me, we used to talk on the phone for hours at a time, and it wasnt about negative things, it was what he wanted to be when he grew up  ect. That post sounded just like The Family School talking to me!!!! :exclaim:

[Antigen]

On 2005-07-22 12:03:00, Anonymous wrote:

if what i've said is true, and assuming that the kid really is a brat who is throwing his life away at 17, isnt the dad doing the right thing by taking him out of whatever negative enviornment hes in and sticking him somewhere where he will hopefully become a man?

The jury's still out on how wholesome an environment the Family Foundation is.  

The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, poet, philosopher

[Anonymous]

Three Springs Waygookin:  well said, excellent point


Antigen, i dont have much experience with family court, i didnt know they didnt require any evidence.  in this case maybe we should ask OP what her psych evaluations said because she made it sound like there would be evidence in her case.

The jury's still out on how wholesome an environment the Family Foundation is.  

how wholsesome of an enviornment were the ghettos of s. africa that produced nelson mandela

i ask you anitgen because in the rest of the world literally 99% of children live in enviornments worse than the cushy 'burbs where these brats are comming up and "The Family Foundation" out together, but since they have real issues they grow up and learn to persevere.

sometimes i wonder if even if the whole 12 step philosophy is wrong, could the biggest benefeit of the program be the fact that it forces the kids to play along.  all they gotta do is there homework and they get phone time (even if they fail).  in real life if you dont do your job you aint spending time on the phone with anybody cuz you cant afford long distance.   after 6 months they are allowed to spend weekends off campus.  sounds like a camp to me.  say what you will about it they offer college prep copurses and a significant amount of their student body is staying voluntarily well passed their 18th birthday.  (they got a few 20 year olds).

[Antigen]

Ok, by your reasoning, all a kid needs to grow up to be Nelson Mandela is a little childhood trauma. So why spend tens or hundreds of thousands on boarding school when you could just shove the kid out in front of a bus?

The trouble is that the schools never explain to the new inductees (kids or parents) exactly how their trauma based methods "work". And they're not the least bit interested in hearing about how it works out in the long run. You only get to hear about those rare few who, for whatever reasons, are willing to say positive things about it.

Just do the math. How many kids are enroled? How long has the place been running? How many good references? Where the hell are all the rest?

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
-- Albert Einstein

[Anonymous]

im not saying that re: mandella.

im just saying that a lot of these kids, had they had any real adversity, would understand why even if you dont need no education in high school, its important to put yourself in a position to succeed on some level.

substitute "push in front of the bus" with "do your own laundry, make your own food, and show me you are the man you pretend to be.

i gotta disagree with you about the schools not caring how the kids do in the long run.

this particular school is conducting a longitudinal study on their alumns, and they promised me access to the data, not that im qualified to question their methodology, its a pretty straight foreward questionairre based on student and parent response to certain questions over time.

in that sense they are doing the math for me.  granted i dont believe everything i read so i do some research, but aside from a couple of sources like this forum and antoher webpage run by teens, reviews are pretty good.