You can't get away with it because family court judges are hell on non-custodial parents kidnapping the kid.
If you can't afford a lawyer to pursue custody, you can't afford a lawyer to defend yourself in the criminal case. And neither can the rest of your family afford to lose you while you are in jail.
In jail, you're no help to anyone.
If you're not willing to go through family law, and you can't make nice with the other parent and get your kid transferred to a better place (like a traditional prep school) by offering to pay some of the tuition, and unless you're very good at publicity, then you need to accept that you're not going to be able to do much.
I know that one of the things that gives me pause is that you come across as very hostile to your ex (maybe with reason, I get that) and because a judge has ruled against you, I have to wonder what the other side of the story is.
I absolutely oppose involuntary residential behavior modification programs. I think coercive persuasion of that particular type is totally inappropriate for anyone, regardless of apparent temporary results.
It's not a matter of tolerance of programs for me. My skepticism is wondering what skeletons you have in your closet. Maybe you don't have any, but in this kind of situation I've been mistaken before by assuming that.
I suspect any journalist would feel the same skepticism if you went the publicity route.
If I was a journalist, how could you help me believe you?
One thing that would help would be complete official transcripts of any family court proceedings and any civil lawsuits, as well as a signed release for them to check your rap sheet (if any) and such.
I'd go through the transcripts with a highlighter pen and highlight anything negative your ex had to say about you, highlight your rebuttals in a different color, and provide reference numbers (sortof like footnotes) to make it easy to match up allegations with rebuttals.
If I was a journalist and you gave me documentation of your ex's side of the story up front, it would make you a lot more credible to me.
I'd also do the legwork for the journalist by getting signed (notarized?) affidavits (with contact information) by former students and parents of the facility your kid is in.
I'd also get any background information on the owners of the facility and who all they're affiliated with and their political party contributions that I could find.
Then go to wrightslaw on the net (google is your friend) and follow their "letter to a stranger" guidelines in writing up your side of the story.
Your side of the story goes on top, with a table of contents indexing your supporting documentation. If it were me, I'd use a three ring binder with the numbered different colored tabs. Don't give the journalist your only copy of anything. Put the contact information and any signed releases in the binder next to the affidavits or background info or whatever *and* type up the list of contacts and their info, alphabetized within category and broken out by category (former attendees, parents, your ex, other relatives, supporting contacts for verification of background information).
At the front of each section, you want a brief summary (just a paragraph) about what it contains.
Completely Hypothetical Example: "These are signed affidavits from former attendees and parents of former students describing the physical and/or sexual abuse, sleep deprivation, prolonged solitary confinement, educational neglect, poor facility hygiene, medical neglect, nutritionally inadequate and/or spoiled food, therapist breaches of ethics, and material misrepresentation of services to parents that they experienced or personally witnessed in or with this facility."
Don't sell it to the journalist as her charitably helping you out with your situation, she knows that already. You have to present it to her by telling her why this story will interest their readers and sell newspapers (or TV time).
Your 3-ring binder is a "press packet." Tell her you've put together an extensive, indexed, press packet with supporting documentation and full contact information of your critics as well as your supporters. Tell her the press packet tells your story, but also does as much justice to what your critics would say about you and your child as you can reasonably give, given your quite natural biases.
Since you're in California, you'll want to mention Representative Miller's interest in this issue.
It's a whole lot of work, but less work and safer than breaking your kid out and going on the run, with far better long-term prospects of success without further serious trauma to your child.
Timoclea
