I never post anonymously so for the purposes of this thread call me FuriousGeorge.
First impression I get: either original poster is genuinely a parent in an unfortunate position, or its someone who purposely tugs at the heart strings of people to get information on someone they have no business knowing anything about.
im just sayin: dad's dont usually get full and sole custody, so for this one to get it maybe there is genuinely something wrong with the mom.
how do we really know that's the mom or even the woman. (how could someone lie like that on the internet!)
ANYWAY I JUST WENT THERE FOR MY BRAT REALTIVE TO SUPPORT HIS PARENTS AND HERE IS MY IMPRESSION:
#1 You can leave when you are 18.
when he is 18 you tell him to get a backpack together, walk somewhere where you can wire him money, and maybe he will go to you. if you cant get him money, or he cant figure out how to use money to get to you,.. let's just say it wasnt meant to be.
#2 Its a school for brats in the classical sense, not the mentally ill or career criminals.
They're rich kids usually smoking pot, which in and of itself isnt bad (don't get me wrong), failing classes, getting in trouble one way or another, promiscuous, defiant, irresponsible, manipulative, and so much more :smile:
These kids almost always have had the world handed to them. They think that mom or dad (or the house keeper) put clothes in the washing machine which teleports it into their closet. These kids usually pit one parent against another especially in cases of divorce.
I cannot emphasize enough: they are master manipulators, and even in cases where both parents are present they run the household.
Back to the origianl post: are we really to be surprised: a brat gets put in boarding school and convinces the noncustodial parent that the custodial parent is actually a sadistic animal who is only using the child to hurt them. How hard is it to convince a parent with zero custidy of that?
#3 This school is very expensive (circa $50K) if daddy put him there he obviously loves him very much
Not everything i've read a about boarding schools in general is positive, and since I also have a realtive in this school I made sure to do some research on my own.
Most of the people that complain are manipulated parents like the poster. They main complaint: the schools try to keep you there for too long to milk the parents wallets.
The Family Foundation is an 18 month program. Who knew it would take more than three month to change a child's entire perspective on life?
The second major complaint is that phone conversations are monitored.
At this school they are as well... by other students. You get hung up on if you disrespect your mom and dad, for instance, by trying to convince someone without custody to rescue you (hint: when your kid says: I promise I'll be good mommy i swear!!! He is lieing. Thats why he got sent there)
I didnt want anything military or anything too religious for my blood, and I was pleased to see some things. The kids make their own food and do their own luandry, most of them for the first time in their lives. When they say jump, the kids respond "How High".
These kids are usually such defiant brats, they wait to see what borders have been laid down just to cross them. At this school, when assembly starts at 12:00 sharp the entire student body meets, one of the faculty starts the announcements by asking how they are doing. Literally all of them said "Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed" in perfect unison.
Am I a little scared that the even the kids who gave the tour were so universally positive about the school around us? Yes. One of our tour students said tenatively that he planned to stay past 18, but at the "Family Group" meeting, the staff (and students) confronted this kid about the desire to leave.
On the other hand, do I ahve any illusion that all these kids are misunderstood? Absolutely not. I'm 24 now, so I'm no conservative geezer. I see what happened to the kids who had parents that couldnt control them. The only people who end up paying for it almost as much as the kids are the spineless parents.
I was no angel, but I've also tutored a kid or two since turning 18 and I'll say this: kids are brats. Yes, its the parent's fault 99% of the time, but lets face why boarding schools are becomming so popular: you parents cant raise your own damn children.
When I screwed up my parents rocked my world and while they may have been too harsh from time to time, when it comes to brats I think its better to err on the size of caution. I'm not saying you gotta beat your brat (much), I can count on one hand the amount of times I got slapped (or maybe a bit more), and I only wish I had said "Thank you Sir can I have another" because even if I didnt fully deserve it once, it gave me the fear of God that these kids lack. (I deserved it!)
On the other hand this is the bottom line. As Bill Maher says, I'm not having kids till you people start having some I would want my kids to hang around with. If you cant raise your brat (and if the court says you can't you probably can't) send his ass to some people who can.
To hear these kids at this particular school talk about goals and their emotional responses to recent obstacles is impressive. I'm not saying all boarding schools are great, and I'm not saying terrible things don't happen, but if you are really a concerned parent, stop getting played by your kid. This school seemed just right for my blood, and it will probably make your blood a better person too, in the end.
So thats my experience and resulting opinion, since you asked for it. Here's one quick prediction: If you child spends more than 6 months in that school before his 18th birthday, dont be at all surprised if he stays to get his High School Diploma.
(one final thought for parents of "non-troubled kids")
Does you kid wanna go on to college? Does he at least try in High School to achieve this goal (pass all his classes with a C- or better)? Does he abstain from drugs besides the occasional joint and a beer with their buddies? When you punish him, does he take it?
If you can answer all of these questions with "yes" then your kids has some values in line, and will probably grow up just fine without a boarding school. You cant protect them from what they will see as soon as they get to school (or go live in college) but you can prepare them to act right by doing whats in their own best interest.
Give them responsiblities and come down on them like a siht storm when they don't know how to act. Its a fine line, but maybe if you smell a little beer on your kids breath for the first time at 17 years old, maybe you let that one slide. Sometimes you gotta let a kid be a kid.
