Gray, Maine Elementary School Fecal Bombed
Fifteen students at a Maine elementary school were treated for fecal exposure yesterday after a band of naked Indians attached the school with buffalo turds. Two students were also reported missing and feared kidnapped and taken to the head Indian's school for troubled teens.
The first battle of the Indian Mongoloid War Against the White Man kicked off last night when a group of boys playing kickball on the playground at recess were accosted by a naked Indian, who asked the boys, "Me suh can play in your game?"
The students fled because the man smelled terribly of moose piss. Suddenly a group of warriors led by Tony "Tania" Merette and Kickapoo Kruglik, Marty's child wife, came running out of the woods passing gas on everyone causing students and faculty to faint. Then the school and the students were coated in fecal bombs.
Based on witness descriptions, the naked Indian is rumored to be a Mongoloid tribal member. Marty Kruglik, Indian Chief Director and Convicted Pedophile Almighty of the Elan School in Poland Spring. Below is a picture of the suspect.
Meanwhile, the Mongoloid Indians have borrowed a play from the al Qaeda book -- only worse. In a tape released to the Elan Reporter and too graphic to show on television, Marty is pointing a bow and arrow at two students and making them eat stray cat feces on camera. The tape also shows the students being verbally reprimanded for reacting to Marty's pullup to eat the cat feces without complaint.
Marty then vows to continue fecal attacks until the wall is removed from the IMR compound which holds the hostage students of the Elan School.
"Me suh defeat white man and reclaim land for buffalo fucking," Kruglik said. "Me suh say no white child safe from me until walls come down."
A spokesman for the National Guard responded to Marty's demand with a middle finger and a jack-off motion.
Meanwhile, more fecal matter was found inside a kindergarten dollhouse at the school. Police suspect Kickapoo Kruglik registered at the school as a student several days ago and "pulled an inside job."
Anyone with any information on Kruglik's whereabouts is asked to contact The Elan Reporter or The Elan Reporter's Assistant, so that they might continue to ridicule him!
[ This Message was edited by: Elan Reporter's Assistant on 2005-08-25 21:32 ]