people are so unaware of how i feel inside partly because i am a rock now.
i have been mentally abused to the point of insanity.
people think that the insane are not normal people. infact though, that is their cover.
i would sit in a rap listening to people scream, at me, and not hear the words they were throwing at my face. WHORE, SLUT, CRAZY, UGLY, FAT. and if i said something back which i always did if i didnt just sit there and take it, i would be laughed at and shut down to the point where i would be laughing at them inside thinking of the way theyre faces would be if i had killed myself in the most horrifying way ever at cedu. they would keep yelling of how i had not said a word the whole time, and me being me saying a good comeback like
"how could i, your mouths have been open the whole rap. i dont like to interupt." or look around and say "my god is it time for me to talk already?" in a sarcastic tone of absolute hate.
i was hurt, ridicouled, stabbed in the back, tormented,and my heart was horrendously torn apart by staff and students*...
*the staff were not the only ones who have done the pain causing...im not sayin the staff were rightim just saying students have done many outrageous things to go out of there way to hurt another student for really petty reasons.
**many reasons were the same the staff had.
i would say more but then that would leave less posts for me to talk about...
here are some quotes that i made and if i have accedently said someone elses then im sorry... i tried to think of my own.
i have died only once,
next time i will be in my coffin.
-noelle
you get hurt once,
you understand.
you get hurt twice,
you feel it.
you get hurt three times,
your heart stings.
the last time,
automatic death.
-noelle (not my best but a start.
when you tell a grown adult to erase bad memories,
you tell the child inside to erase the hope of a good future.
-noelle (getting better)
if you leave a wounded heart to rot,
you will forever leave the mending to stall.
- noelle (my favorite other than the first one i ever wrote)