The teens are given choices. They can choose to make appropriate choices, or they can choose not to. Anyone who has any parenting skills whatsoever knows that. Take a small child, for instance. You can tell the child the stove burner is hot over and over. Some children trust their parents enough to accept the parents teaching and trying to protect them from getting burned. Others do not and subsequently touch the hot burner and get burned. The consequenses of the choice of the first child in this scenario is the he doesn't get hurt. The consequenses of the choice of the second child is that he gets burned. Either way, it was their choice.
And I put it to you that, for the most part, the kids who and up burning themselves a little bit learn quicker and sometimes with less consequences than the ones who are forced through 'behavior modification'. Again I turn to myself and my daughters for an example. My oldest has done more drugs than I did before I went in Straight. Not more than I have
done, but more than before I went in. She has been afforded the luxury of learning from her mistakes....and they have been large and plentiful.....but she is learning at 18 what I've been
trying to learn in my..ahem, more 'mature' years :razz: . I would
much[/b] rather have learned harshly
but early[/b] life's lessons. I was never given the choice. I think I"ve said this before too, but I look at my daughters and I'm ecstatically happy for them and what they are doing with their lives, but I must admit that I'm a little envious of what they are getting to experience that I was denied. I was telling my husband that the girls are at the ages that I began to lose my life....16 my youngest (I was 16 when I went in) and 18 my oldest (I was 18 when I got out). It has really began to trigger a lot for me, on various levels. It's scary for me to sit back and let these girls live their own lives. I HATE some of the things they do. I can't tell you how many sleepless nights I've spent over them and there are still more to come. But I see them growing with every step they take. Even if they are HUGE steps backwards, I try not to make the 'be all end all' of life. I know pro-program people are going to think that I haven't been through the really rough stuff with my kids, but trust me.....I have. I'm not talking trivial stuff here, I've been through suicidal periods, moving out with loser boyfriends, more drugs than I care to think about...but I've had the strength, somehow, to allow them to see themselves through to the other side of whatever it is that they are going through...one of the many things that we were denied. I can't tell you how healing that has been for me and I can't tell you how much further along these kids are than I ever DREAMED of being at their respective ages. And that's not to say that there aren't
plenty of rough times ahead...I'm sure there are, but I've built a foundation with them from mutual trust and respect. I think those of us who are survivors
and[/b] parents have a unique perspective on this. At least now I know what
NOT to do with my kids.
A vote for GW is a vote for America's Führer.
--Anonymous (it's best that way...)
