"Take orders from who?"

[Paul St. John]

Again, I don't know how this comapres to ther programs, but in Daytop when I was there, there were rapists, theifs(including those who would assault old ladies for money), people who claimed to had murderred others, crack-herd, and pyros.  As a matter of a fact, there were a lot of them.


So, anyway, I go in there, and I am pretty good guy, and they got me taking orders from rapists, and such.  Their logic was that these people had been in the program longer then me.  I have to surrender my self-responsibility to some pice of shit, and treat him as though he has some type of earned athority over me... and their logic for this is... He has been in the prgram two months already.. he has shown much growth.


Well, that is nice, but I have been on the earth over 16 years at the time, and I had yet to rape anybody, nor had I ever hoped to have to keep company with a mother fucking rapist.  

I can t belive that they were tryinfg to sell me on the idea that their program was so good, that in three months, they oculd turn a rapist or a murderrer, into a person who was fit to give me orders.

God, I hated that place.. and it really was stupid too.. I mean you got 13 year old pot smokers, whose parents bugged out when they found out about their kid's habit and sent them to Daytop, in the same environment as rapists, theves, etc.


Fucking Place!


Paul St. John


Reprise:

Ya know, there was this one guy, who ran groups.. He had been there three months.. he was strength, and he ran a lot of induction groups for people like me.. You tell he loved me.. He flet like such a big shot.. he got treated like a king, compared to many cause he manipulated his way into status.. He was a slcik, charasmatic fuck, but I mainly always noticed what a dick he was.


Anyway, he told me in a group, that he had killed a few people.. he seemed rather pride.  


I don't even know where it came from, I was a rather peaceful guy, but I remember sitting behind him, some time shortly after, in a morning meeting.. all snug in as we were, stiff backs, and motiuonless, eyes ahead.. and I could see his stupid bic-shaved head, right in my veiw.. and all I oculd think of, was pounding that smug fucker's skull in with my fist.. giving him the beating of a lifetime..  I swear, if I moved a muscle at all, I woulda been all over that fuck.


Those types of thoughts increased my whole time in there.  I never really had thoughts like that before.. But my whole time in there.. they just kept increasing.. i oculd not shake the feeling that I hated where I was, and most of the peole around me.. I felt that most of them had escaped the system, and the innocent ones, paid their price for them in some ways.


Rapists, murderers, hadcre theives, and pyros, are usually pretty destructive people.. You take away their vice of choice, and give them new tools, and they will use those tools to destroy.


Again, I was there.. I know what I saw.


Paul

[kaydeejaded]

I agree if you have a violent person and you put them in a place where the new tools to hurt someone are now "the program" and "being on staff" they will use those tools to get out their need to be agressive. They won't change.

In Straight you had to sit up well straight believe me no pun intended. they insured that you did this by yanking your sholder back and dragging their knuckles down your spine. People I know delighted in hurting you bruising your back with their knuckles. Terrified I sat and took it for 2months. I was young and small still am, just 5 feet tall and they saw in me an easy target. After 2months I snapped and became an agressive hardcore "misbehavior" as they called the people who were non-compliant. I hurt those people and they forced me to be what I hated in them, but it was not the same.

I don't know why I a waxing poetic in your forum tonight. Sorry man. Moody and reflective is the theme this eve.

Whoever kindles the flames of intolerance in America is lighting a fire underneath his own home.
--Harold E. Stassen, 1947

[strummer]

they will not change unless you (we) stop giving them reasons to think that changing you (us) is as easy as 123

[Paul St. John]

On 2004-04-30 09:10:00, strummer wrote:

"they will not change unless you (we) stop giving them reasons to think that changing you (us) is as easy as 123"

It is in fact true.. Kudos Strummer!

Paul St. JOhn

[Anonymous]

On 2004-04-30 09:10:00, strummer wrote:

"they will not change unless you (we) stop giving them reasons to think that changing you (us) is as easy as 123"

And prolong the torment? They will never stop trying to "change" people. What a retarded thing to say.

[Anonymous]

On 2004-12-18 05:30:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

On 2004-04-30 09:10:00, strummer wrote:


"they will not change unless you (we) stop giving them reasons to think that changing you (us) is as easy as 123"

And prolong the torment? They will never stop trying to "change" people. What a retarded thing to say."

Somewhere at some point, somebody has to take a stand.

See, it takes change for change.  It has to start somewhere, and I guaranteed you that if enough people were to resist being broken, that those people would in fact have to find another way to survive.


They will surely change,   WHEN IN IT NECESSARY.

It s up tp those with character and disagrrements with their methods, to make it necessary.

When we no longer tolerate them, they will begin to cease. :smile:

Paul