Well, sad to say
we do keep a directory of 262 existing and closed threapeutic boarding schools and 13 residential treatment centers, 16 boarding schools with support. Also we keep track of the +200 kids who have lost their lives because a residential treatment option badly suited for their need was chosen.
Your son has an addiction. Why does he have it? What is the real problem? Does he want to quit it or do you want to make him to Lindsay Lohan number 2 visiting a lot of residential options before he wants to quit some time in the future?
Do you want to fix it? Do you want him to get an education? Do you want to try to balance it risking getting poor quality of both?
As you can see there is a lot of questions.
No person in the world can give you the top 10 schools suited to the needs of your son. Every person is different. Even the low quality ordinary boarding school could be the best option for your son if the problem is just getting distance from a tough situation in your community.
If it was my son I would start talking with him without any judgment and without raising the voice. Make a nice dinner - something he likes and start talking about how close you are to ending his stay in your house. Let him suggest some options. If he wants to move out to a friend, ask him to speak with the Department of social service. They would tell him that his options would be a shelter under some kind of contract where he cannot continue his present lifestyle. Living at another family without some kind of background check would not be an option most social workers will accept.
If he wants to try other rules, a normal boarding school could be the option. They are cheaper than the therapeutic once and - yes they are also therapeutic. If he wants to stay then he needs to adapt to a peer group - lesson learned. Let him seek the internet. Let him even look at the Facebook group at our database if he thinks that he is tough.
I believe in honesty. Now where he is charged with possesion, ask him if you should try to ask an officer if you can get some kind of tour of the juvie. Ask him to ask your lawyer if a weekend program can cut it as alternative sentence if he seeks it himself. They run a dirty one up in Howell, Michigan. You can find it on our database. People I interviewed speak of a hard tour, but it is only a weekend. Sometimes the judge can be impressed by a person who recognize that he has a problem and let the case go on probation if a "treatment" option has been entered before the trial can take place.
But ask, do not tell.
ODD is not a bad diagnose for a teenager. It tells you that he is a teenager. Personally I would be very worried I had a teenager, who fell in with the carpet without any mood expression. In many cases such children explode as adults then I would hate to be around.