Anxiety, Family, and Moving.

[iamartsy]

I am I am in a dilemma. I am in the state where I hospitalized. I am now looking into moving to a different state. In some ways I hate to move for a variety of reasons. The person who first outed me to my family has bought a home here, and is once again saying I "am crazy" and attempting to control me. I have found a places that I can afford in another state. It is easier on my breathing difficulties there. The hard part is leaving good friends, and my metalsmithing opportunities.

I would love to tell my relative to get lost but she has more money, and is very controlling, right down to my meds. What do I do in this case? I have an adopted family here. Literally, the family that took me in the whole time my mother was physically sick when I was growing up!

I am having extreme uncontrollable anxiety about all of this. Then there is free floating anxiety. Lots of free floating  anxiety. I also need a 2nd driver for my move. I fall asleep at the wheel constantly.  Please talk to me..someone.

[Che Gookin]

Are your friends rallying to your side against this person trying to "out" you? Where does your family stand in this? Hospitalization is a make or break sort of thing. Like ol' GW said, "Either you stand with us or against us." There is no happy middle ground of compromise because that compromise involves you having to give something up to keep another person happy in a matter they shouldn't be gaining a damn thing to begin with.

Put it down simple for your family and friends who don't support you. Say these following words or something to the effect, "I've been horribly abused enough by treatment, I'm not a threat to myself or anyone else, I will live my life as I see fit, if you will not support me, you are against me, and you are out of my life."

After that cut all contact with them. Do not allow these sorry individuals back into your life.

If this other douchebag keeps being a problem, document each incident, involve the police, and get a restraining order.


Though, I'm of the opinion that a new start might be in order as this person sounds like they aren't the kind who want to quit. Do what you have to do!

[Samara]

Artsy -  I am sorry you are feeling so much distress. I can really feel it coming off you. I don't know enough about your history, your family member, or hospitals to giev you informed advice. Is there anyone who is very rational, objective, and resourceful who can be a good sounding board?

Even if you are "crazy," if you are an adult who is not hurting anyone, your relaitive should MYOB and possibly enjoy your uniqueness. It sounds like you have a good thing going with your adopted family.   If "crazy" means you are prone to depression and /or anxiety, it would be unfair to give up your adopted family to suit a controlling relative.  

Why is this relative trying to dictate your meds? Can you go to a free legal clinic and see if you have legal options? Can you send an advocate to her to explain that her controlling behavior is not beneficial, and neither is spreading the word on "crazy."  And that if you really needed help, it would have to come from a trusted source anyway?  Sometimes people on the outside see things about us that we don't, but there is a difference between controlling and caring. Also, sometimes, they can't move past the past and see the present as something different.

If you choose to leave, find out what you can about the new place and any services that may help you with your anxiety.  But reconsider allowing yourself to be run out of town, too.  

Good luck!