http://www.passagestorecovery.com/alumni.htmlinterviews with passages to recovery alumni
Michael H.
Michael H. started drinking when he was eight years old. By 12, he was abusing drugs. And by 21, he faced serious jail time for drug- and alcohol-related charges. It took 10 days in the county jail and a concerned friend to convince him it was time to make a change. "I had been doing really mediocre in college, dropping classes and just struggling to get by. I didn't want to keep doing what I was doing," says a young man whose future hinged on seeking help.
Michael had been through a hospital-based 12-step program when he was 17 and managed to stay sober for a year and a half after treatment, but college life at Indiana University did not lend itself to abstinence. "It was really hard for me to let go of the party type lifestyle when I was back around it. I felt like I was giving up a part of my youth." He stopped going to meetings and disregarded principles that had helped him stay clean. "I quit doing the day-to-day work on myself," he says.
It was all too easy to fall back into old patterns. He began selling and using drugs and overindulging in alcohol. The downward spiral of drug and alcohol abuse cost him his good standing in college and landed him in jail, but a compassionate lawyer offered Michael hope by way of Passages to Recovery. "I was fed up with the life I was living. If I was going to be successful on any level, I was going to have to give up drinking and drugging," he remembers thinking when he arrived in the Utah wilderness with a desire to make a clean break from his past.
Passages' natural setting was a powerful metaphor for a young man who had lost his faith in God and himself. "I had completely detached myself from the spiritual side of my life and had sworn off ever believing in that again," he says. The real-life recovery stories of counselors helped convince him that staying sober was an obtainable goal. "I saw where I wanted to get in my life and what I needed to do to get there, says Michael. The struggles he shared with fellow participants further strengthened his resolve.
Out on the trail, Michael was without the creature comforts he had counted on all of his life. Eating, sleeping, even staying warm and dry, depended upon him rising to the challenge. "I had had a lot given to me in my life, so I didn't have much invested. Now that I had to work for things, there was a greater sense of pride," he says.
The wilderness setting took him out of his comfort zone and forced him to take a hard look at who he was and who he wanted to be. "Passages gave me an opportunity to focus on myself," says Michael, something he had difficulty doing his first time in rehab. "In the hospital setting, you have the TV and the newspaper and you can make phone calls-all these things you can distract yourself with."Michael had to work at transforming himself from an alcoholic and drug addict to a fully functioning, healthy human being. Two years later, his work is paying off with a full-time position at Passages to Recovery where he serves as a transition center counselor. He is back in school working toward a degree in education and hopes to one day coach a high school basketball team--dreams that have come back into focus now that drugs and alcohol are out of the picture.
