How Shall I Lose My Weight Quickest

[Seniermetrath]

This might not be the most righteous category for this subject, but given that dieting is a country-wide endemic, I was pretty sure that there will possibly be some men or girls in this forum, who have been through any diets at all. In case you have any idea whatsoever please share.

I am in particular unclear on what weight loss item to order, since there are so numerous alternatives out there. The latest hypes on Oprah like hoodia gordonii or guggul don't make this matter any easier. I actually do not know where to begin, should I opt for an exact fat loss plan, routine of workouts...All I have come to understand is that a modification is needed. And this alteration needs to take place now.

[Anonymous]

well it really depends on how desperate you are. You should start by just not eating anything at all. If you can pull it off, great! you may start feeling a little woozy after not eating anything for a while, so you might start to inhale everything within arm's reach that is edible'. If that happens, remember to throw it all back up! you dont want that food turning into calories that turn into lard! it helps if you stick two fingers down your throat, and if that doesnt work, you can always try some ipecac. Another solution that may help you not each much and loose weight is cocaine and other stimulants such as methamphetamine or  adderall. Not only will you not be eating very much, you'll be super-energized and burning calories by the truckload. If you're really desperate, then eat some undercooked wild boar. you will get a tapeworm, and that will definitely help you loose some weight. If all else fails, you can staple your stomach and get some liposuction.




another solution would be to switch to fresh (yes, humans are designed to eat vegetables), all-natural (lay off the candy corn), organic (yes that perdue chicken and those del monte canned veggies are killing you), and minimally processed foods (meaning doritos=satan), lay off the simple carbs (white bread, pasta and soda=satan), eat red meat sparingly (burger a week), quit your office job and get the fuck up off the couch or off the computer once in a while. Unfortunately, thats me telling you to stop eating like an american, and it may offend your patriotic sensibilities and skew your love/hate relationship to fat upside-down. If that is true for you, then just stick to the first plan of action. Cocaine, pork, and cosmetic surgery is as american as apple pie.

[Anonymous]

i forgot to mention:

remember that the trick with cocaine is that you have to keep doing it. You have to do it every day, all day. if you do it for a while and stop, you'll gain a whole bunch of weight and be fatter than ever. There's nothing wrong with that though, afterall, cocaine WILL turn you into a sex godess.....and that's the intended point of loosing weight, right? dont worry about how expensive cocaine is, or about getting addicted. Everybody knows cocaine is about as addictive as chocolate. plus, since you are going to be a sex godess, you should have no trouble at all finding yourself a rich sugardaddy who is willing to financially support you in maintaining that godess-level sex appeal. so, dont worry about blowing your life savings on mountains of cocaine. it will pay off in the end.

[Anonymous]

well it really depends on how desperate you are. You should start by just not eating anything at all. If you can pull it off, great! you may start feeling a little woozy after not eating anything for a while, so you might start to inhale everything within arm's reach that is edible'. If that happens, remember to throw it all back up! you dont want that food turning into calories that turn into lard! it helps if you stick two fingers down your throat, and if that doesnt work, you can always try some ipecac. Another solution that may help you not each much and loose weight is cocaine and other stimulants such as methamphetamine or  adderall. Not only will you not be eating very much, you'll be super-energized and burning calories by the truckload. If you're really desperate, then eat some undercooked wild boar. you will get a tapeworm, and that will definitely help you loose some weight. If all else fails, you can staple your stomach and get some liposuction.




another solution would be to switch to fresh (yes, humans are designed to eat vegetables), all-natural (lay off the candy corn), organic (yes that perdue chicken and those del monte canned veggies are killing you), and minimally processed foods (meaning doritos=satan), lay off the simple carbs (white bread, pasta and soda=satan), eat red meat sparingly (burger a week), quit your office job and get the fuck up off the couch or off the computer once in a while. Unfortunately, thats me telling you to stop eating like an american, and it may offend your patriotic sensibilities and skew your love/hate relationship to fat upside-down. If that is true for you, then just stick to the first plan of action. Cocaine, pork, and cosmetic surgery is as american as apple pie.

not bad.

[Anonymous]

This might not be the most righteous category for this subject, but given that dieting is a country-wide endemic, I was pretty sure that there will possibly be some men or girls in this forum, who have been through any diets at all. In case you have any idea whatsoever please share.

I am in particular unclear on what weight loss item to order, since there are so numerous alternatives out there. The latest hypes on Oprah like hoodia gordonii or guggul don't make this matter any easier. I actually do not know where to begin, should I opt for an exact fat loss plan, routine of workouts...All I have come to understand is that a modification is needed. And this alteration needs to take place now.

SERIOUSLY!!? you think ORDERING SOMETHING ONLINE WILL MAKE YOU LOOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!???

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :suicide:


like the above poster said, try laying off the mcdonalds and other processed junk, and do some exercise. no, getting a workout machine will not help you loose weight. working out on that workout machine will though. try a gym membership instead of wasting your money on BS contraptions. or maybe a long walk every day?

just do what humans are supposed to do, and dont do what were not supposed to do. (hint: humans are not supposed to sit around doing nothing all day).

[Anonymous]

OPRAH IS A FEAR MONGERING  MONEY LOVING NIGGER PIECE OF SHIT. by nature, pieces of shit are full of shit, therefore you should not listen to them. I dont mean to be racist, not all black people are NIGGERS or pieces of shit, as a matter of fact only a small minority of black-skinned people are pieces of shit or NIGGERS. Oprah is a 100% purebred big hunk'o gorrilla shit nigger that makes money off of exploiting her audience's fears and insecurities, deceiving the very people she claims to be trying to help.

[Ursus]

SERIOUSLY!!? you think ORDERING SOMETHING ONLINE WILL MAKE YOU LOOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!???

Considering that the OP contains an embedded link to do precisely just that, namely, to order a product online, I am sure that said poster was hoping for a readership less savvy.

[Ursus]

http://http://www.hcgprotocol.com/pandi.pdf

http://http://www.yourhcg.com/index.php

Hmm. HCG is human chorionic gonadotropin hormone, which is naturally produced by the fetus and later by the placenta during pregnancy. I notice that site (I didn't check the download) makes no mention of that fact. They make a big deal out of it being "homeopathic," but ... as far as I can tell, the only characteristic which would qualify their product for that characterization would be that it is administered via drops absorbed under the tongue. I can practically guarantee you that it is not a natural product, despite all the depictions of attractive herbs, fruits and vegetables on the margins, and the young woman in a low-cut summer dress eating an apple with playful salaciousness.

Here's what Wikipedia notes about its use as a weight loss supplement:

Weight loss

A controversial usage of hCG is as an adjunct to the British endocrinologist A.T.W. Simeons' ultra-low-calorie weight-loss diet.[7] Simeons, while studying pregnant women in India on a calorie-deficient diet, and "fat boys" with pituitary problems treated with low-dose hCG, discovered that both lost fat rather than lean (muscle) tissue. He reasoned that hCG must be programming the hypothalamus to do this in the former cases in order to protect the developing fetus by promoting mobilization and consumption of abnormal, excessive adipose deposits. Simeons, practicing at Salvator Mundi International Hospital in Rome, Italy, clinic mainly for celebrities, recommended low-dose daily hCG injections (125 mg) in combination with a customized ultra-low-calorie (500 cal/day, high-protein, low-carbohydrate/fat) diet loss of adipose tissue without loss of lean tissue. After Simeons' mysterious death, the diet started to spread to specialized centers and via popularization by such as the controversial author Kevin Trudeau.

The controversy proceeds from warnings by the Journal of the American Medical Association[8] and the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition[9] that hCG is neither safe,[8] nor effective as a weight-loss aid.[10]

[Anonymous]

despite all the depictions of attractive herbs, fruits and vegetables on the margins, and the young woman in a low-cut summer dress eating an apple with playful salaciousness.

Mmmm, Ursus with writing like that you’re turning more than just the trolls on tonight.

http://http://www.hcgprotocol.com/pandi.pdf

http://http://www.yourhcg.com/index.php

HCG No!!!!!!!!! My friend’s mom did multiple cycles of these (hCG) injections for weight loss. This is also used to induce ovulation in fertility treatments, BTW. In addition to the injections, the regimen requires a very restricted diet limited to 500 calories. Yes, she experienced the promised very rapid weight loss (likely due to the fact that at a certain BMI persons with more weight to lose do lose weight initially very rapidly), she also had fatigue, inattention, and mood regulation disruption.
She reported that she considered the cost as being a bit on the pricey side. I think she would have been better off having gotten a trainer. Pedro is so not into women, but he has a hot Ukrainian wife (haven’t gotten the back story on that, yet) reasonable fees and a Mahayana-like calm in the presence of my whining/sometimes a tad bit hostile obstinacy.

 H1n1 would be another option if you’re healthy enough and have no chronic conditions. ::puke::

[Inculcated]

well it really depends on how desperate you are.  Another solution that may help you not each much and loose weight is cocaine and other stimulants such as methamphetamine or  adderall. Not only will you not be eating very much, you'll be super-energized and burning calories by the truckload. If you're really desperate,

remember that the trick with cocaine is that you have to keep doing it. You have to do it every day, all day. if you do it for a while and stop, you'll gain a whole bunch of weight and be fatter than ever. There's nothing wrong with that though, afterall, cocaine WILL turn you into a sex godess...................so, dont worry about blowing your life savings on mountains of cocaine. it will pay off in the end.

Drug abuse pictures before and after
Sexy?

[Anonymous]

Whatever fucking happened to just eating right and getting some cardiovascular exercise? The surest way to  not loose weight, like the guest already wisely pointed out, is to start ordering useless shit on the internet. If you want to drop you body fat you have to start  to run a deficit of calories. Meaning you are burning more than you are consuming.

Eat properly..
Get some exercise daily..
drinks water versus sugar loaded drinks that include fruit juice and soda.

And  with time you'll be fine.

Overall though, just be patient and give it time. The human body is designed to hoard its reserves of fat as a survival mechanism. So obviously those of us who are a bit jiggly around the middle are going to experience some frustrations with loosing weight as your body is designed to not easily give up its fat reserves. However, while I'm not a big believer in group settings for drug rehab or weight loss, I do see the wisdom in getting some people you like being around to help. Go bike riding, walking, playing basketball, and whatever it is you like doing with your friends. I think you'll find that partaking in these activities not only will help you burn off those extra twinkies they'll also help you save money.

Far cheaper to play some basketball in the driveway than it is to shove your face full of nasty crud down at the local Hardies. After if you are all hungry consider going by the supermarket and picking up one of those big jumbo packs of chicken breasts and baking them or throwing them on the grill for you and your mates. It is even ok to enjoy a beer with your chicken, maybe not 10 beers, but having a beer won't kill your dieting plans.

anyhow, shit to do, women to swerve, and I gotta movement to undermine and all.

- Ghost of Che

[Anonymous]

Drug abuse pictures before and after
Sexy?

theres something called satire.  :beat:


I guess you never met a girl who actually thought the way "smartest girl" thinks. unfortunately, there are many, many, many of them. mostly in LA, miami and NYC.

[Anonymous]

:twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger: :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger: :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger: :twofinger:  :twofinger:

[Anonymous]

What's the point of trolling

[Anonymous]

F U C K