Hello Antigen, They were put into foster homes, and they were not treated very well, in fact they were abused beyond imagination. Thing is by now my family was split up from the seed,( my father and mother split also because of this place) ( my father was away on business trip when mother decided to scoop up one kid at a time and put them in the seed starting with me first) I had run from the seed, but I found out that my other sister and brother both older had been left there.( I did not know this till recently) I had decided I had had enough with that crazy messed up place, so I just stayed away from everyone. I really had no clue my sister and brother had again been started over. I guess they really did plan on keeping me till I was 18, geez I can not imagine going through that till I was 18. I am sure I would have either hurt someone, or kept getting hurt. I never participated in anything while I was there. I just went into my own place and stayed till I had the chance to run again, I had been started over once and no way was I going to be started over and over and over, see I knew I was not like them, and if leaving my family behind was what I had to do then that was what I was doing. I also by that point had thought my sister and brother were maybe one of them. I trusted no one, the seed made sure of that for me. Like you my younger sisters were dragged to meetings, while seeing their sisters and brothers stood up for things they never did.( that made them not like us too much having to go to meetings for something that we were suppose to have done). All were spread far apart from each other. The seed made sure we stayed apart from each other. The time I spent there was just one long screaming hurtful time. I think watching people being yelled at did a number on me. I remember when they would stand me up , I would sit on floor, They would try to hold me up, and I would just smile at them. Sometimes I had tears in my eyes, sometimes I had the driest eyes anyone could want. One thing I would not do was tear someone down, and that is what made them more angry with me then anything.( I would tear them down instead) They used my sister against me at times. Like they would stand her up and if I did not do as they said they would start on her. I kicked screamed attack just like I was attacked. I would block anything going on around me. I had a girl named Mida that was suppose to be the toughest meanest soul in there. She was my rock, she was a lot older then me, gee come to think about it all were except a handful that were like 9 years old.Imagine 9 years old, my Goodness what on earth kind of parent puts a 9 year old tiny girl in a place like that. I was tiny too, but 9, that just flips me out thinking about it.I have not had a chance to ask why yet to my mother. See I left this whole thing some where long time ago. So I thought any ways.Then I was given this forum, which has opened my eyes up again about this place. You have to understand I was 13, I was a good kid, not smart in most classes but passable enough to get at least b's, and c's, which in time who knows what I could have been, but thing is I had never done anything to be put away like this. Never ran away, no drugs, nothing. Now all of a sudden I am handed cigarettes and life savers, and not allowed to pee when need, and watching others being to me tortured. It just is so very strange to me, that people would treat others like this. I ended up learning to lie, and became an hourly smoker at the ripe age of 13. So much I remember about others pain. One day you have long beauitful hair, the next it is like someone tried using a razor blade on your head.All because you refuse to attack and be like them. I guess Libby wanted to have the longest hair of all, and that was one of her rules to chop off others hair. Who knows, thing is they did so much shit to harm rather then help anyone at all. I think about how many people had to lie to just get by in there. Honestly they did too, sad to watch people all charged up and crying like someone just died, just so they are left alone. Wow, the awful memories. Was wondering how if I could maybe find Mida, the girl that helped me keep my saneity there. I sure would love to not just thank her, but in return help her or family in any way I could now. With out her, I know I would have broke. Yea she was court ordered, and yea she was started over like 14 or more times, but if you knew her from a soul point like I did, man every soul should be like her. Spiritual thoughts can keep the worst souls alive and well at any point in ones journey, she taught me that, she showed me how to turn off everything around you, at one point I felt my soul leaving me, while all were screaming and tearing me a new ass so they thought anyways.The feeling of being somewhere else while all that was going on is one of the most powerful things I had ever experienced in my life. Can see yourself from a far. Even when they shook you, you never felt them. Every day they made me sit by Mida because they thought she would scare me, little did they know she was teaching me to be free, forever free in the mind that is, and if your mind is free, then all of you is free. Any one can laugh if like, but everyone has a way to stay free within self. I am just lucky I had Mida Garcia as my freind and teacher back then. Most did not have that. I really do believe everyone has the power within them to be free. :peace: :rose: