It has taken many years for some real healing to happen since I was in Straight some 20+ years ago. One of the biggest things for me was relationships. After being stripped away from my friends, my family, and my girlfriend, I was sent to a place where I could not sustain any kind of meaningful relationships.
During my stay at Straight, I can't remember all of the host homes I stayed in. I would get put in one I liked and would make an attempt to get close and the inevitable would always happen and there I would be sent to another, so it conditioned me to never try to get close to people even though that is one of the things I wanted more than anything. To love and be loved.
With my family, when I got back from Straight I was not the same person. When I went into Straight my relationship with my brothers and sister was pretty cool. I could drink a beer, hang out, and have some what a normal life. When I came back I was not the same person that I was when I went in. Something inside of me died. It made it easy for me to move hundreds of miles away from my family.
Straight was good at killing a person's self esteem as when I went to withdraw myself from the program, I was told by staff that no woman would want me and I would die on the streets or in prison. This affected me deeply as I would get involved with women, but I was never able to let myself get close.
Things have changed some in these areas of my life. I am able to sit and have a guilt free beer and not think I am a terrible person. I recently asked a very beautiful and sweet woman to marry me and she said yes. I have a good job. And I have a cool relationship with my siblings once again.
So in closing...... STRAIGHT was wrong about everything ....
