Author Topic: On Being a Hyde Parent  (Read 2616 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Ursus

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 8989
  • Karma: +3/-0
    • View Profile
On Being a Hyde Parent
« on: March 25, 2009, 11:28:52 AM »
Found this when I was rummaging around in some old stuff... It's supposedly from 1996, but is more likely from 1999 (based on associated pages).

Note that this is a highly idealized and sanitized description; you might have to read between the lines (maybe not! lol). Some things may have changed slightly in the past ten years. It is also quite possible that participating in the "Hyde-Hoffman Process" will soon become part of proving one's mettle, if it hasn't already, as far as parental commitment is concerned.

Color emphasis as per the original.

-------------- • -------------- • --------------
    
Being A Hyde Parent

    "Letting go doesn't mean not caring. It means caring enough to give my child the freedom to fail or to fly."[/list]
    Our program demands a lot from students, parents and faculty. Alumni have likened it to a strenuous workout, an Outward Bound course for the soul. It's true that a Hyde education requires hard work and perseverance, but the institutional and personal supports are there to help people do their very best. Character isn't built overnight.

    The curriculum hinges on a committed partnership between family and school. We believe that parents are the primary teachers and the family the most influential classroom. Therefore, if a school strives to help students develop strong character, it's important that those values are reinforced at home. To accomplish this, we have created a parallel curriculum for both students and parents.

    When we say that parents play an active role in their children's education at Hyde, we don't mean they take responsibility for how well their student performs. In fact, it may mean just the opposite. Hyde parents become active educators by becoming positive role models, mirroring the very qualities of character they hope to see their children develop. The family program includes seminars on campus where parents address attitudes and values affecting the family. Additionally, they form a network with other Hyde parents, meeting in regional groups to discuss areas of mutual concern. Like their children, parents examine fundamental life questions:

      Who am I?
      Where am I going?
      What do I need to do to get there?
      [/list]
      It can be a trying, even frightening, prospect to let go of traditional ideas of parental responsibility. However, since the family program began in 1977, countless numbers of parents have noted that Hyde's family curriculum has given them relief from dead-end patterns of miscommunication and helped them build stronger relationships with their children based on mutual respect and honesty.

      Hyde parents are challenged by a rigorous program. Once a family has joined the Hyde community there are four mandatory components of parental involvement. The expectations for a typical year include:

        Two
      Family Weekends (October and April)
      One Family Learning Center session per year per parent
      Monthly Regional Meetings
      Regional Retreats[/list]

      Family Weekends



      Hyde has a simple membership requirement. Students, teachers, and parents are expected to honestly and openly address three questions:

        Who am I?
        Where am I going?
        How do I get there?
        [/list]
        These three questions form the cornerstone of the admissions interview. Solid admissions candidates are those families who seek to explore these questions with enterprising curiosity. Sometimes parents are surprised to discover that they are expected to participate in the interview, to address their personal issues as earnestly as their children are expected to address them. Family Weekends are the two times of the year when the entire community assembles to address these personal issues. Typically, there are three seminar sessions (two to three hours each) with groups that contain from five to eight families. Sometimes these groups are randomly selected and sometimes they meet in regional groups. We apply what we call the three R's of seminars: raise, wrestle, and resolve. In the first seminar session, the issues within the family are raised. The second session will find family members wrestling with these issues. On the final day, there is an attempt to resolve the issues by establishing an action plan for the future. Issues or themes that families have examined in the past include communication, truth vs. harmony, and private self v. public self. Sometimes family members will examine themselves in light of one of the Five Words or Five Principles.



        The weekend includes team- and family-building exercises. There are opportunities for teacher conferences and workshops on a variety of topics including college placement, health, and admissions. The highlight of the Spring Weekend is the parent shows. Each family region performs a five- to ten-minute production viewed by the entire Hyde community. One weekend, a region showed slides of its work on a Habitat for Humanity project; another region showed slides of a day that its members spent on an outing at a high ropes course. The parent shows encourage all participants to "take a risk and have fun." These exercises have a profound effect on students, exemplifying the school's belief that character is better inspired than imparted. It bolsters the resolve of a son or daughter to see Mom and/or Dad struggling with some of the challenges that Hyde students face on a daily basis. The weekend traditionally concludes with a community meeting in the Student Union.

        Family Learning Center



        Parents attend one three-day learning center on campus during the school year. Groups of 15-25 parents attend at a time, living dormitory-style at the FLC house. Parents interact during various seminars, physical activities and writing projects, and work with their children on personal and family issues. All activities are led by trained faculty members. It's a concentrated opportunity to look at the issues of character that most deeply affect each family.

        While the Family Weekend has a focus on the community as a whole, the FLC is intended to focus more specifically on each family as an individual working unit. A family chooses a session from a possible list of more than twenty dates. (Preference is given to long distance families for sessions that immediately precede or follow a Family Weekend.) Typically, seven to twelve families will attend any given three-day session. The FLC offers the family the opportunity to focus its goals and to assess progress in meeting them. There are four goals and objectives that parents write about on the first day:

          » To better understand how my family operates.
          » To identify specifically what I can do to improve both the quality and effectiveness of our family life.
          » To gain a better understanding of myself, my own needs, and my own sense of purpose in life.
          » To identify specifically what I can do to improve the quality and effectiveness of my life.
          [/list]
          There are seminars, some with parents and children together and some where they are apart. There is journaling and the Meyers-Briggs is administered, analyzed, and discussed. There is an exercise called the "beach walk" where parents and children take an intimate walk together in an effort to reconnect. The program concludes with the reading of personal papers on the final morning.

          Monthly Regional Meetings

          Held monthly in locales across the country, these meetings allow parents to network with other Hyde parents and share areas of common concern. The Hyde regional network includes more than twenty different regions. Large metropolitan areas have been divided into smaller regions. (e.g. New York has been divided into four regions: Manhattan, Long Island, Northern Jersey, Connecticut- Westchester.) The Heartland region covers a wide area of the Midwest with a more scattered population; there are smaller regions in Vermont and Atlanta. We have learned that five to six families can constitute an effective region. The group's purpose is to function as a coach and a support group for parents. The regional group is to the parents what the challenge team or class curricula team is to the students. Effective regions often develop lasting bonds of friendship and loyalty. Some have reunions and alumni regional groups are beginning to evolve in many areas.

          The regional groups meet once a month for about four hours. Most regions rotate the location of the meetings among the homes of their members. Members facilitate their own meetings and typically include themes and exercises established by the FLC staff on campus. Typical agenda items include a seminar, journaling, or perhaps worksheet exercises provided by the FLC. Time is also set aside for rehearsal of the spring shows. In the winter, each region conducts a weekend retreat that is facilitated by trained Hyde faculty. Regions also assist the school in its admissions and development efforts. Many Regions occasionally conduct admissions "teas" where prospective admissions families are invited to talk with parents and Hyde faculty members about the school.

          The Regions also assist parents in their efforts to "bring Hyde home" during school vacations. It is not uncommon for Hyde families to keep the school shield and the Five Principles posted on the refrigerator door in the family kitchen. It is essential that students' vacations represent a continuation, not an interruption, of their Hyde educations. The Region offers a structure to help support this objective.

          Regional Retreats

          These are held yearly -- usually in the winter months -- to provide parents with a relaxed, intimate environment to further the personal work families have begun in regional groups.


          # # #
          « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
          -------------- • -------------- • --------------

          Offline Anonymous

          • Newbie
          • *
          • Posts: 164653
          • Karma: +3/-4
            • View Profile
          Re: On Being a Hyde Parent
          « Reply #1 on: March 27, 2009, 06:55:05 PM »
          Quote
          It is not uncommon for Hyde families to keep the school shield and the Five Principles posted on the refrigerator door in the family kitchen.

           :rofl:  make sure you get one of those yellow t-shirts to wear when you scream out "go hyde" at public gatherings
          « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

          Offline Anonymous

          • Newbie
          • *
          • Posts: 164653
          • Karma: +3/-4
            • View Profile
          Re: On Being a Hyde Parent
          « Reply #2 on: March 29, 2009, 07:49:57 AM »
          parents are expected to honestly and openly address four questions:

                Who am I?
                Where am I going?
                How do I get there?
                How much money can I give to Hyde
          « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

          Offline Ursus

          • Newbie
          • *
          • Posts: 8989
          • Karma: +3/-0
            • View Profile
          Re: On Being a Hyde Parent
          « Reply #3 on: March 31, 2009, 10:20:27 AM »
          Quote from: "Sumnah Society"
          parents are expected to honestly and openly address four questions:

                Who am I?
                Where am I going?
                How do I get there?
                How much money can I give to Hyde

          That last one would be the all-important one, eh?

          Anyone know the original source for those pressing existential questions?

          Here is Joe Gauld using the above queries in a 1992 Education Week article titled An Education: Just Do It:

            A second national blindness regards the role of adolescence: Teenagers are not children. I've found that how teenagers handle adolescence largely determines how they will conduct their entire lives. We should help teenagers address questions like "Who am I; Where am I going with my life; What do I need to get there?,'' then challenge them with extensive responsibilities while encouraging them to take risks, since they learn most from their mistakes.[/list]

            And here, nine years later, in a Letter To The Editor of the same publication:

              A focus on character unleashes the deepest human motivation—self-discovery. Adolescence is primarily meant to help students answer the three basic questions of life: Who am I? Where am I going? What do I need to do to get there?[/list]
              « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
              -------------- • -------------- • --------------

              Offline Anonymous

              • Newbie
              • *
              • Posts: 164653
              • Karma: +3/-4
                • View Profile
              Re: On Being a Hyde Parent
              « Reply #4 on: April 25, 2009, 02:10:33 PM »
              A focus on character unleashes the deepest human motivation—self-discovery.

              Sounds like Joe's quest back in the good old days of the Human Potential movement.
              « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

              Offline Anonymous

              • Newbie
              • *
              • Posts: 164653
              • Karma: +3/-4
                • View Profile
              Re: On Being a Hyde Parent
              « Reply #5 on: May 03, 2009, 10:41:34 PM »
              Quote
              Who am I?
              Where am I going?
              How do I get there?

              Who am I? Where am I going? What do I want? What am I doing? When will this be over? When will what be over?
              What does that sign mean? What does it all mean? Why do you think it means anything? Why are you late for work?
              Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? What do you think? What do I think? When will I will I will I be famous?
              Have I been guilty all this time? What am I doing here? What does this button do? How could you? why?
              What am I going to do? Where is this all leading? What now? What is your emergency? When will I be ok? Will I be ok? Are you ok?
              Where do you want to go today? What did I think would happen? What was I thinking? Where is everybody?
              What are you doing this weekend? Did you have a good weekend? What time is it? What do I do now? Who am I?
              What do I want? What day is it? What time is best for you? How did I get here? What's my age again?
              How are you today? Do you need any help there? What happened to the life that I had planned?
              What does customer service mean to you? Who Am I? What is the point? What do you believe in?
              Who am I? What do I want? How soon is now? Can you do me a favour? Can I see you for a minute? What are you doing?
              What am I doing? Where's my mind? What's up? Where did it all go? What did I do wrong? What are you looking at?
              What do you want from me? What makes you think I care? Is something eluding you sunshine?
              What am I looking for? Why is the sky blue? How does that make you feel? Would you like fries with that?
              What the fuck? What are you looking forward to? What is that supposed to mean? What are you looking at? Where am I?
              Why can't you just leave me alone? What do you want the internet to be? Who cares? Where can I hide? Where did I go wrong?
              Have you had your weetbix today? Are you really happy doing what you do? What am I doing here? Why can't I be happy?
              Who's for lunch? Hello?
              Who am I? What do I want?

              http://everything2.com/title/Who%2520am%2520I%253F
              « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

              Offline Anonymous

              • Newbie
              • *
              • Posts: 164653
              • Karma: +3/-4
                • View Profile
              Re: On Being a Hyde Parent
              « Reply #6 on: May 04, 2009, 07:57:29 AM »
              IS that my Beautiful Wife?  Is that my Large Automobile?
              « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

              Offline Joseph W. Gauld

              • Posts: 97
              • Karma: +0/-0
                • View Profile
              Re: On Being a Hyde Parent
              « Reply #7 on: May 04, 2009, 10:07:26 AM »
              Is this my fulfilling LIFE? Is this my main compound... er... SCHOOL? Are these my adoring GROUPIES?



              Love those adoring groupies, HAR HAR!!

              Fondly,
              Joseph W. Gauld, The Educator
              « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

              Offline Anonymous

              • Newbie
              • *
              • Posts: 164653
              • Karma: +3/-4
                • View Profile
              Re: On Being a Hyde Parent
              « Reply #8 on: May 05, 2009, 12:12:52 PM »
              And you may ask yourself

              Am I right?...Am I wrong?

              And you may tell yourself

              MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?
              « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

              Offline Botched Programming

              • Posts: 1197
              • Karma: +0/-0
                • View Profile
              Once in a lifetime
              « Reply #9 on: May 05, 2009, 01:41:10 PM »
              You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
              You may find yourself in another part of the world
              You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
              You may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
              You may ask yourself; Well...How did I get here?

              Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
              Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
              Into the blue again/after the money's gone
              Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground

              You may ask yourself
              How do I work this?
              You may ask yourself
              Where is that large automobile?
              You may tell yourself
              This is not my beautiful house!
              You may tell yourself
              This is not my beautiful wife!

              Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
              Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
              Into the blue again/after the money's gone
              Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground

              Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
              Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
              Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...

              Water dissolving...and water removing
              There is water at the bottom of the ocean
              UNDER the water
              Carry the water
              Water Remov-remov
              Remove the water from the bottom of the ocean

              Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
              Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
              Into the blue again/INTO THE SILENT WATER
              UNDER THE ROCKS AND STONES/THERE IS WATER UNDERGROUND

              LETTING THE DAYS GO BY/LET THE WATER HOLD ME DOWN
              LETTING THE DAYS GO BY/WATER FLOWING UNDERGROUND
              INTO THE BLUE AGAIN/AFTER THE MONEY'S GONE
              Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground

              You may ask yourself
              What is that beautiful house?
              You may ask yourself
              Where does that highway GO to?
              You may ask yourself
              Am I right?...Am I wrong?
              You may say to yourself
              MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?

              Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
              Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
              Into the blue again/INTO THE SILENT WATER
              UNDER THE ROCKS AND STONES/THERE IS WATER underground

              LETTING THE DAYS GO BY/LET THE WATER HOLD ME DOWN
              LETTING THE DAYS GO BY/WATER FLOWING UNDER GROUND
              INTO THE BLUE AGAIN/AFTER THE MONEY'S GONE
              Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground

              Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
              LOOK WHERE MY HAND WAS

              Time isn't holding us
              Time isn't after us
              SAME AS IT EVER WAS
              SAME AS IT EVER WAS
              SAME AS IT EVER WAS
              ??
              SAME AS IT EVER WAS
              SAME AS IT EVER WAS

              ??
              SAME AS IT EVER WAS
              Yeah the twister comes
              HERE COMES THE TWISTER
              Letting the days go by
              SAME AS IT EVER WAS
              Letting the days go by
              SAME AS IT EVER WAS
              Letting the days go by
              SAME AS IT EVER WAS
              ONCE IN A LIFE TIME
              LET THE WATER HOLD ME DOWN
              LETTING THE DAYS GO BY
              « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

              Offline Joseph W. Gauld

              • Posts: 97
              • Karma: +0/-0
                • View Profile
              Re: On Being a Hyde Parent
              « Reply #10 on: May 06, 2009, 10:38:15 PM »
              Quote from: "Hawking Teds"
              And you may ask yourself

              Am I right?...Am I wrong?

              And you may tell yourself

              MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?

              What have I DONE??!! I'll tell ya, ya pussy-whipped wimped-out forna-scallions what I DONE!! I done made an EST kiddie camp an' school fer America's new character culture leaders, that's what I done, har har!! How else are America's corporations gonna make a killing less'n they have a law-abidin' and compliant work force an' leadership! I brung awareness o' uniquely constricted potential to all the children. Get 'em while they're young, I say, har har har!! An' I done made a ton o' money!! My name is revered an' sucked up to in all the character education circles an' everywhere dat da sheep do gather!!

              So there's some whiner sour pusses out there who don't 'preciate it. I say yer all a bunch o' loosee-lipped losers!! Zip yer friggin' cotton-pickin' trap! Yer catchin' FLIES!! Who needs it?! Window o' loss, I say. It's all in da window o' loss. World's better off wiff-outcha!!! Har har de har HAR HAR!!!!

              Countin' ma blessings, which I surely deserve, har har!
              Joseph W. Gauld, The Educator
              « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

              Offline Ursus

              • Newbie
              • *
              • Posts: 8989
              • Karma: +3/-0
                • View Profile
              Re: On Being a Hyde Parent
              « Reply #11 on: May 12, 2009, 11:44:43 PM »
              Quote
              There are seminars, some with parents and children together and some where they are apart. There is journaling and the Meyers-Briggs is administered, analyzed, and discussed. There is an exercise called the "beach walk" where parents and children take an intimate walk together in an effort to reconnect. The program concludes with the reading of personal papers on the final morning.

              Curious that they should utilize the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. This from an institution that clearly favors extrovert-manager and extrovert-helper types, and discriminates against the introverted and introspective axes.

              Myers-Briggs clearly states that there is no such thing as a "right" or a "wrong" personality; moreover, that a healthy society contains all types.

              Some points quoted from the above (Wikipedia) link:

              • No preference or total type is considered "better" or "worse" than another. They are all Gifts Differing, as emphasized by the title of Isabel Briggs Myers' book on this subject.
              • It is considered unethical to compel anyone to take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. It should always be taken voluntarily.
              • The result of the MBTI Reported and Best Fit type are confidential between the individual and administrator and, ethically, not for disclosure without permission.
              • The results of the assessment should not be used to "label, evaluate, or limit the respondent in any way."

              See also: http://www.myersbriggs.org/
              « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
              -------------- • -------------- • --------------